AIBU to feel upset my daughter-in-law will not help with our dog?

[BadGran]

I know I probably IABU but I need a little moan. My husband & I are currently in a very difficult situation with a very ill relative and we need to travel to see them urgently.

It’s all happened very quickly and as a result we are struggling to find someone to look after our dog while we are away. We have 3 children - our 2 daughters are always happy to chip in with the dog where they can when we are in a bind but my son’s wife does not like dogs and won’t have them in her house which i do understand but means our dog has to stay in the garden when we go to their house which isn’t always ideal depending on the weather etc and I know it annoys my daughters.

Anyway both my daughters have jobs with no flexibility or working from home options so can’t help on this occasion. My son is working abroad. My Daughter-in-Law is a housewife so theoretically could help but as previously mentioned she refuses to have anything to do with the dog.

I know she is perfectly within her rights and it’s our dog not hers but I’m finding it quite hard not to feel quite cross about the whole situation as I feel this is adding an additional layer of stress in already horrible circumstances.

AIBU to feel this way ?

No way. I think you are being very selfish to think she should care for something she does not like. Dogs are disgusting.

Why is it nasty to say you hate dogs?

If someone said they hated spiders would you say the same? What about if someone said they hated fleas?

There’s nothing you can do but you can behave accordingly and remember her lack of help in the future!
A paid dog sitter would be a good plan B for times like this. xx

A dog sitter then?

I would go to someone's house to feed a dog (depending on the dog), and might even take it for a walk. But I wouldn't have a dog in my house.

YABVU. And I love dogs and have two.

This is ridiculous. Just put the dog in kennels while you deal with your emergency.

I agree with this as well, I don’t even want a dog in my garden peeing or crapping everywhere, let alone my house!

Pay someone to look after your dog. Simple. They are your responsibility, not your families.

I love dogs and we have one but I would never expect someone to take care of our dog in those circumstances. We would pay a kennel. Obviously this one is on you and your unreasonable expectations and entitlement of others.

I wouldn’t have a dog in my house either, so put it in kennels. Your pet, so your responsibility.

Why can’t you take the dog with you?

Yet another entitled owner.

If you take the dog to the dils house (even though she has told you she doesn’t like dogs) why can you not take them to the relatives house?

Why did you even ask? She doesn’t like them!
This has massively annoyed me 😂😂😂😂 You are exactly the type of dog owner that give the rest of us a bad name 🙈

Yabu. I wouldn't have someone elses dog either. Get a dog sitter or a kennels surely?

YABVU.

Hopefully you’re not badmouthing your Daughter in Law to others, about this.

Kennels exist OP.

I do not like dogs. I do not want dogs in my house. But on occasion DH kids have brought their dogs with them for visits. We now have a cat, so dogs not welcome, even in the garden. I have a horse. Not everyone likes horses. Would u be ok if I insisted you look after my horse if u didnt like them?? Probably not! U are being unreasonable.

Sorry OP, but you need to fully accept that not everyone is happy to have a dog in their house. I can of course see why you’re disappointed but I wouldn’t have one in my home - the reasons are (1) I don’t like the smell of dogs (2) I worry about hygiene because dogs literally lick poo and then lick people and other things (3) I don’t like the way dogs want constant attention so I find them emotionally draining.

incidentally it is not that I hate dogs but I do hate having them in my home.

My home is my personal space and not having a dog in it is a personal preference. It is not a judgment on dogs in general or any particular dog.

If this is how she feels about dogs, how do you think the dog would be treated if she did agree to have it? She has zero understanding of dogs and zero empathy with them. YABU for even considering leaaving your dog with someone like that.

I'm actually staggered by the number of people who seem to be suggesting that the dog could just be left in its own home and the DiL just go in and feed it and let it out. You can't leave a dog like that.

I don't disagree with anything you say in your post. Which is why, if kennels are not suitable for any reason, including a long waiting list, you have to assume that you cannot arrange anything last minute if you do not have anyone to take care of your dog. Trying to shame people into taking care of your pet against their wishes is not really the way forward.

I wouldn't want my dog to be in the care of someone who doesn't like dogs tbh.

You have to if it's an emergency.

If you know your DIL doesn’t like dogs but take your dog to her house anyway, why don’t you take it to visit the unwell relative? Surely that’s not being unreasonable in your eyes?

If you don’t want to do that, use kennels, get a dog sitter, or either one or both of you can’t go.

When you are a responsible pet owner, you need to make difficult decisions, NOT just do what you fancy and then moan because someone who didn’t decide to get a dog won’t pick you up the pieces for you!