Page 14 | AIBU to feel upset my daughter-in-law will not help with our dog?

fashionqueen0123 · 13/09/2026 22:01

Also why do you take your dog to her house? Leave it at home!

Thisismynewname23 · 13/09/2026 22:02

BadGran · 13/09/2026 19:32

I know I probably IABU but I need a little moan. My husband & I are currently in a very difficult situation with a very ill relative and we need to travel to see them urgently.

It’s all happened very quickly and as a result we are struggling to find someone to look after our dog while we are away. We have 3 children - our 2 daughters are always happy to chip in with the dog where they can when we are in a bind but my son’s wife does not like dogs and won’t have them in her house which i do understand but means our dog has to stay in the garden when we go to their house which isn’t always ideal depending on the weather etc and I know it annoys my daughters.

Anyway both my daughters have jobs with no flexibility or working from home options so can’t help on this occasion. My son is working abroad. My Daughter-in-Law is a housewife so theoretically could help but as previously mentioned she refuses to have anything to do with the dog.

I know she is perfectly within her rights and it’s our dog not hers but I’m finding it quite hard not to feel quite cross about the whole situation as I feel this is adding an additional layer of stress in already horrible circumstances.

AIBU to feel this way ?

I absolutely love dogs and have three of my own, but if I didn’t like them I wouldn’t look after one, in turn I wouldn’t want to leave my poor dogs with someone who didn’t adore them unless it was life or death. You mention the dog having to stay outside can you not leave it at home when you visit them? Why impose the dog on her when you know she doesn’t want it there? I would look to find a regular sitter that you could use in an emergency some will come and stay at your house or they can board in the sitters home rather than kennels

Kidsandhouse · 13/09/2026 22:04

Are people really saying that there’s no circumstance at all that they would look after a loved ones dog in an emergency?

I'll do many things to help out relatives and friends alike. But yes. I would flatly refuse to mind a dog. Under any circumstances.

And it seems I'm not alone in this opinion.

OldGothsFadeToGrey · 13/09/2026 22:06

pestowithwalnuts · 13/09/2026 19:38

Why do you take the dog to their house when you know she doesn't like them...and then moan because it has to stay in the garden ?
Not everyone lives dogs..

I wouldn’t even let someone put their dog in my garden so you are being vvvU
OP

BeigeandGreige · 13/09/2026 22:06

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 13/09/2026 21:47

Are people really saying that there’s no circumstance at all that they would look after a loved ones dog in an emergency?

The parent of your MIL/FIL/DIL/SIL is dying. They live a few hours away. Understandably, the child of the dying person wants to go and see their parent on their deathbed. Rather than step in and help out with the dog, you’d insist that the person dying is only really related to one of them, so their partner should stay home with the dog.

you’d happily send someone off to one of the worst situations they’ll go through in their lives alone, rather than with support from their partner, instead of just looking after a dog for a few days?

allergies/incompatible pets/landlord restrictions aside.

kennels/dog sitters are no easier to come across in an emergency than a nursery or childcare placement.

Honestly, I’m glad I’m not friends with the majority of people on this thread in real life because who needs enemies, Jesus Christ. Anyone would think they’ve been asked to look after a fucking crocodile with herpes.

FaceIt · 13/09/2026 22:06

Sorry but you are being unreasonable.
I would always help friends and family, but I really wouldn’t want to look after a dog.

I’m glad you’ve got a good friend to help you out. It’s much better for your dog to be with someone who actually likes him/her.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 13/09/2026 22:06

Hire a dog sitter, it is your only option. I would not have asked her to begin with as it was bound to cause offence on both sides.

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 13/09/2026 22:07

Kidsandhouse · 13/09/2026 22:04

Are people really saying that there’s no circumstance at all that they would look after a loved ones dog in an emergency?

I'll do many things to help out relatives and friends alike. But yes. I would flatly refuse to mind a dog. Under any circumstances.

And it seems I'm not alone in this opinion.

Indeed.

makes me even more appreciative of the people I have around me.

I’d do anything to help out a friend/family if they were going through a truly horrible time.

Actually, I do things I don’t particularly enjoy/want to do for my family in a non emergency too.

RockinCara · 13/09/2026 22:08

I agree with the above. Your dog would probably wouldn’t be treated very well, probably shoved out in the garden like usual, so it definitely wouldn’t be someone I’d ask to look after my beloved dog.

JustSayyNo · 13/09/2026 22:08

One reason I keep my dogs' vaccinations up to date is in case there is ever an emergency and they have to go to kennels and no family member can take them.

How long are you expecting your DIL to watch the dogs for anyway? A day or two most people would just deal with. More than that is a lot to ask. I've had dogs here in the past and they are a lot more work than having your own dogs as they're in unfamiliar place with unfamiliar routine.

KidsDoBetter · 13/09/2026 22:09

Another dog lover here but yes you need to admit that the 92% of people are right. YABVU. She doesn’t like dogs therefore can’t look after it. End of

godmum56 · 13/09/2026 22:09

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 13/09/2026 21:47

Are people really saying that there’s no circumstance at all that they would look after a loved ones dog in an emergency?

The parent of your MIL/FIL/DIL/SIL is dying. They live a few hours away. Understandably, the child of the dying person wants to go and see their parent on their deathbed. Rather than step in and help out with the dog, you’d insist that the person dying is only really related to one of them, so their partner should stay home with the dog.

you’d happily send someone off to one of the worst situations they’ll go through in their lives alone, rather than with support from their partner, instead of just looking after a dog for a few days?

allergies/incompatible pets/landlord restrictions aside.

kennels/dog sitters are no easier to come across in an emergency than a nursery or childcare placement.

that was precisely what we did do by which I mean that the partner stayed home with the dogs. it meant that the person travelling didn't have to worry at all about the dogs and was completely free to focus on and address the situation ahead of them.

MissChanandlerBonng · 13/09/2026 22:10

Yab massively U. And it’s nothing to do with your daughters that your DIL doesn’t want dogs in her house.

ASimpleLampoon · 13/09/2026 22:10

Why can't your sons in law help?

FastFood · 13/09/2026 22:11

I realise I'm very lucky because when I broke my leg, my sister took a day off work to look after my dog, walk him, pick up his poop, and them went to the hospital to bring me a phone charger and a change of clothes.

And for the following 8 weeks, my friends ralied up to walk said dog, even people I hadn't spoken to in years. My mum drove down 700km to help me out after surgery. It was just natural.

The idea that someone asking for help might be entitled is very sad. I hope no one here will ever need help. No wonder there's a loneliness epidemic.

This said it's also MN where people ask their 18yo kid to pay rent so well, not really surprising.

Sam1000 · 13/09/2026 22:13

Your dog is not her responsibility

Icecreammonster · 13/09/2026 22:13

I wouldn’t want anyone looking after my dog if they dislike dogs this much. I sympathise, but think you are being unreasonable on this occasion, can’t you pay for a dog sitter?

fashionqueen0123 · 13/09/2026 22:13

Northernlights19 · 13/09/2026 21:09

It being a stressful time doesn't make your dog her problem though. It's a huge ask tbh. I can't have a dog where I live but even if I could I wouldn't want to deal with the mess, fur etc. I certainly don't want to be picking up someone else's dog's poo.

I'd happily help out with children or whatever but not pets. If you have a pet you should be prepared for all eventualities. You should have the means to pay for emergency care/kennels etc. If you don't then it's unwise to have a dog.

Show quote history

Exactly. I’m not walking someone’s dog because I’m not picking up its poo.

CatsMagic · 13/09/2026 22:16

ASimpleLampoon · 13/09/2026 22:10

Why can't your sons in law help?

This was exactly what I was thinking too! Why is this your DILS responsibility and not your SILS?

Happytaytos · 13/09/2026 22:18

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 13/09/2026 21:47

Are people really saying that there’s no circumstance at all that they would look after a loved ones dog in an emergency?

The parent of your MIL/FIL/DIL/SIL is dying. They live a few hours away. Understandably, the child of the dying person wants to go and see their parent on their deathbed. Rather than step in and help out with the dog, you’d insist that the person dying is only really related to one of them, so their partner should stay home with the dog.

you’d happily send someone off to one of the worst situations they’ll go through in their lives alone, rather than with support from their partner, instead of just looking after a dog for a few days?

allergies/incompatible pets/landlord restrictions aside.

kennels/dog sitters are no easier to come across in an emergency than a nursery or childcare placement.

Yes I wouldn't do it. I'd do a hell of a lot of things. I'd travel with the person if I could but the dog is a line. The poo, the smell, the walking, all of it. I don't like dogs.

Weirdpig · 13/09/2026 22:20

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 13/09/2026 21:47

Are people really saying that there’s no circumstance at all that they would look after a loved ones dog in an emergency?

The parent of your MIL/FIL/DIL/SIL is dying. They live a few hours away. Understandably, the child of the dying person wants to go and see their parent on their deathbed. Rather than step in and help out with the dog, you’d insist that the person dying is only really related to one of them, so their partner should stay home with the dog.

you’d happily send someone off to one of the worst situations they’ll go through in their lives alone, rather than with support from their partner, instead of just looking after a dog for a few days?

allergies/incompatible pets/landlord restrictions aside.

kennels/dog sitters are no easier to come across in an emergency than a nursery or childcare placement.

If one of my PIL was dying, I wouldn't be given indefinite time off work without notice to accompany my partner to be with them. My children would still be expected at school. The world isn't set up for us to be able to drop everything to support our partners in this way. What I would be able to do is stay at home and keep everything running, including dog care, if we had one.

AquamarinePearlGold · 13/09/2026 22:20

Get a dog sitter.

PyongyangKipperbang · 13/09/2026 22:21

I am another who doesnt understand why you take your dog to the house and then moan it has to stay in the garden.

If your dog cannot be left alone (lockdown dog by any chance?!) then you failed the dog, DIL is not failing you.

I have severe allergies to dogs, both asthma and contact dermatitis, so there is no way a dog would be allowed in my house OR my garden.

She made her position clear, so yes you are being VU to expect her to change that because you are in a bind. I am sorry that you are in a difficult situation but that isnt her problem to solve, its yours.

MrsClattenburg · 13/09/2026 22:23

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 13/09/2026 21:47

Are people really saying that there’s no circumstance at all that they would look after a loved ones dog in an emergency?

The parent of your MIL/FIL/DIL/SIL is dying. They live a few hours away. Understandably, the child of the dying person wants to go and see their parent on their deathbed. Rather than step in and help out with the dog, you’d insist that the person dying is only really related to one of them, so their partner should stay home with the dog.

you’d happily send someone off to one of the worst situations they’ll go through in their lives alone, rather than with support from their partner, instead of just looking after a dog for a few days?

allergies/incompatible pets/landlord restrictions aside.

kennels/dog sitters are no easier to come across in an emergency than a nursery or childcare placement.

Yep, I'm saying I would never look after a dog (or any pet TBH but defo no a dog) under any circumstance. Nope. No. Never. No way.

FourSevenFive · 13/09/2026 22:23

seahorsessky · 13/09/2026 20:27

What an awful woman. I don't like spiders but would help you out in a situation like this. And, unlike spiders, there are many workplaces which have guide dogs etc in them, so while no one has to like dogs, unless you are happy about excluding those with disabilities, you need to be able to tolerate them. I made a point of getting my kids ok with dogs when they were little for this very reason.

Does she know she's the only one who doesn't work outside the home in the family? As in, I'd have some sympathy if she thought you had another option.

Nonsense.

Guide dogs and pet dogs are absolutely different case. Guide dogs are selected and trained to a standard which is effectively unreachable for majority of pet dogs or other type of working dogs.

Accepting existence of guide dogs is the comprise people who don't like being around dogs make.
Pets are choice and responsiblity of their owners.