To cancel going to friends wedding

[Watdidusay]

We have a close friends wedding to attend in 6 weeks. It's been booked about 6 months in advance. We've prepaid for travel, hotels, childminding and bought traditional clothing for the event. I'm in the wedding party.

Just received an invite to my SILs wedding today (DHs sister) for the same date. In 6 weeks time.
Different part of the country.

Family are all saying we have to cancel the other wedding. We are going to be out hundreds of £.

AIBU to go to family wedding instead just to make my life easier? Everyone is angry at me for even considering not going to DHs sisters wedding. I feel terrible.

My god that’s a tough one. I am pretty shocked someone is only sending invites 6 weeks out, without at least checking availability first? Honestly id probably go to your friends wedding and let DH go to his sisters.

Bit odd that she didn’t ask you to save the date. Unless she did?

But you’re in the wedding party of your friend! Are you a bridesmaid?

Maybe you go to your friend’s wedding and your husband goes to his sister’s?

I’d go to my friends wedding no contest.

If you're in the wedding party you can't pull out now. Dh can go to his sisters and you your friends.

You made a commitment. Go to your friends.

What does your DH say? I think go to the one already booked if it’s been organised for 6 mths. If necessary, DH can go to his sisters.

Why the short notice? You can't cancel your friend. Go without your husband.

I'd go to the friend's wedding if you've already paid out to attend and are part of the wedding party it's pretty poor form to drop out now. Your DH can go to SIL's wedding

But you agreed to be in the wedding party months / years ago and everything is booked? I’d have no issue politely declining. If you feel bad you can offer to host a celebration whatever after. Dinner at yours for the family or something if you fancy it. No chance I’d ruin a friendship and waste all that money. If you plan a wedding in 6 week’s time you have to expect some people will already have plans.

No you go to the one that you have arranged to go to months ago and that you’re part of the wedding party for. If your SIL is arranging a last minute wedding her and her fiancé should, at the least, check close family can come on that date. Otherwise they have to accept that people will have to miss it.

Why such short notice?

I wouldn't cancel going to your friend's wedding unless you are prepared to lose the friendship

That's a really difficult one. I personally would attend my friends wedding and DH could go to his sisters. SIL should have not given such short notice of her wedding day.

Friend all the way, tough if your SIL left such short notice. Your friend will be so hurt if you pull out now 😔

6 weeks is such short notice, why didn’t they at least send a “save the date”?
Would be very bad form to cancel on your friends wedding, having already accepted.
I think you have to just be honest and say to SIL you have a prior engagement.

Go to your friends! Sod the guilt trip. First person who asked trumps everything

No she didn't. She just messaged saying what the date would be and where. 6 weeks in advance.

Your DH didn’t know when his sister’s wedding was arranged for until you got the invite??

Correct. This is the first we've heard. Not at all a new relationship either.

I'd go to friends. Family can pipe down, if SIL wanted you there that much she should have asked earlier! At most DH can go to his sister's but tbh I wouldn't be happy about that.

If they're angry at you for something that is 100% their fault tbh it sounds as though it would be quite nice if they did fall out with you and didn't speak to you for a few months. People who are that unreasonable are seldom lovely in every other aspect.

Divide and conquer? You stick with your long standing commitment, and DH goes to his sister's.

You can’t pull out of your friend’s wedding party at such short notice.

At the very most you should go to your friend’s wedding and your DH to his sister’s wedding. If it was that important to his sister that you were there she should have given you a heads up of the date before now

You can’t let your friend down, that would be cruel at such short notice. Your SIL should have checked people were free at such short notice.

It’s ridiculous that she expects people to go with 6 weeks notice.

However, I wouldn’t want to miss my sisters wedding (if I was close to her).

Do DH can go to hers and you go to your friends.

The only issue may be if you have DCs.

You have to go to your friends wedding.

Family are angry at me for even suggesting this though,that's the problem.