To cancel going to friends wedding

[Watdidusay]

We have a close friends wedding to attend in 6 weeks. It's been booked about 6 months in advance. We've prepaid for travel, hotels, childminding and bought traditional clothing for the event. I'm in the wedding party.

Just received an invite to my SILs wedding today (DHs sister) for the same date. In 6 weeks time.
Different part of the country.

Family are all saying we have to cancel the other wedding. We are going to be out hundreds of £.

AIBU to go to family wedding instead just to make my life easier? Everyone is angry at me for even considering not going to DHs sisters wedding. I feel terrible.

Tough shit.

Six weeks is too short. You have a commitment. They should have been more organised.

You can't let the friend down. Your husband can let your friend down under the circumstances so he doesn't let his sister down.

That is the compromise. They need to suck it up.

Was about to type exactly this!

What does anyone expect with barely any notice? If it was that important they would have mentioned it ages ago

Then they’ll just have to be angry. Either they’ll be angry or you’ll be angry that you’ve been unreasonably forced into this situation, so it may as well be them. No sense in deciding to make yourself angry.

I would also go to my friend’s wedding as you committed to it first. Surely everyone will understand.

Unless there is a genuine reason for getting married in six weeks time, say terminal illness, then they are being really unreasonable, what if you had booked and paid for a holiday ? were moving house on that day ? due to give birth ? were just working ? I personally think 3 months is the absolute minimum notice for a wedding and even then you are going to have people who can't come due to prior commitments.

Who on earth is free for a wedding with 6 weeks notice?

Say no.

Let the parents in law be angry. Their demands are unreasonable. DH should also stand up to them a d say he has existing plans. He has been counted for in the numbers, too.

It would likely damage your friendship.

Well she should understand that you already have a commitment then.

@Watdidusay is she up the duff? Thought shotgun weddings were a think of the past!

I agree with you. I would never do this to someone. I would love to make everyone happy and in laws make me feel like a horrible person.

SIL and her parents are U.

No as I said earlier they've already had their children. They've been engaged nearly 3 years as well

?

Another vote for friend's wedding

Fuck that, I wouldn’t prioritise a wedding for two people who already live together and have kids together and who give such short notice.

Please go to your friend’s wedding.

Let them be angry then.

Friends wedding

You have been part of planning and excitement. Regardless of money friend every time

#friends wedding

yoire in the wedding party!

This, all day long. It would be unforgivably rude to bail on your friends at this point. If SIL wants to get married at short notice, she should sound out 'must-have' guests as to their availability. They're behaving ludicrously.

You should absolutely stick to your original commitment. Or be prepared to lose what I assume is a close friend when you’re in the wedding party.
I’d be really annoyed at you if I was your friend and you dropped out at effectively the last minute for someone else’s wedding. It’d make it pretty clear that I’m low down your list of priorities

@Watdidusay id go to the friends. .
I would also not give in to the family . It wipl
only get worse if you do.

It is basic manners that if you have accepted an invitation you don’t blow it off if another one comes along.

You go to your friend’s wedding.

Well they are shit heads. I would ask why your SIL only gave 6 weeks notice and tell them she is lucky DH is going!!

You don't need to "suggest" things as if you need permission. Just tell them that's what will be happening (or, rather, have DH tell them). They'll get over it. If someone only gives six weeks' notice for a wedding they can't expect everyone to be free.

Why ?