To think if your kid can't behave in restaurants you don't go

[hardshoulderr]

Unless you really need to eat.
so obviously lots of sympathy to kids who are Neurodiverse.
But went out to lunch this afternoon, quite an expensive place ordered the food and wine and a family sat down kids on iPads, no problem, the volume really low.
voices are starting to be raised, the parents shush ,then I look over and so don't worry it's no problem.

This then escalate from raised voices and slight frustration to the kid spitting across the table shouting and swearing. I literally can't focus on what my friend is saying because of the shouting and the swearing from kids who like primary School age next to me.

I work with kids - you know what I've loads of sympathy, but I don't spend my weekends wanting to have kids spitting next to me.
I go to the restaurant and calmly ask the wait staff if we could move around this corner out of vision of the Family.
By then, the dad has gone home with one, the mother and other kids stay to continue the meal.
I have kids who are not Neurodiverse, but even though were a pain in the arse when we went out to restaurants, therefore would avoid eating out , certainly not to place at lunchtime. It would be like pizza early doors.

Is this unreasonable?

They took the child out?

One. Interestingly , the younger sibling then starts copying the older one

Restaurants over Maccie's level need No Tech signage.

And it absolutely is parenting.

Out for a late Mother's Day celebration last year my heart sank as a couple with triplets girls about 3 yo sat at the next table.
Not a peep. No fuss. No noise..no Tech.

I wanted to shake their bloody hands!

Yeah, there was no reason to go to a bougie restaurant on a lunchtime. Sometimes parents have to admit that their lifestyles have to change and they have kids.

YANBU

Was it spitting child who was taken out?

Why did you tell them that it wasn't a problem when it clearly was?

I think it’s a hard one, if you never take children out then you don’t get the chance to teach them how to behave- BUT I think there are better & worse places to take them. Frankie & Bennys at 1pm on a Saturday yes, Miller & Carter at 5pm maybe not.

It started as kids being kids. Then escalated to spitting and shouting.

Yup. Then the other one started.

Mmmmm - but then how will they ever learn?

How are they supposed to learn? Kids misbehaving in restaurants isn't a new phenomenon.

If anything, iPads have actually made things better in these situations because the kids of terrible parents used to be running riot, now they're glued to a screen.

What do you mean by 'no tech'? For kids or adults too?

By being taught table manners at home, to the point where then they know what to do when they go out? Restaurants aren't nursery school.

How will they ever learn that spitting and shouting is unacceptable behaviour? Well, at home would be a good start.

Why does my child, sitting silently and still, using an iPad with headphones in have the slightest impact on you?

I talk to my children and we do colouring and card games yada yada but sometimes when out with wider family when I’d like an adult conversation as well and I let my children use tech after eating. It has no impact at all on anyone else so I have no idea what your problem is. My kids are a lot quieter and less impactful on others than plenty of adult groups in restaurants.

I went to an Italian for a meal with my mum and dad and my toddler son several years ago. My son started playing up and kept making noises. So I phoned my husband to come and collect him. It’s not a cheap restaurant, and I wouldn’t have liked it if anyone else’s kid was making that noise when I was trying to enjoy a meal out. So why should anyone else have to put up with it?

@Raindropskeepfallingon read the thread, mate

They learn by you being strict with table manners at home and when they are still in a high chair. My school age they should be quite aware of appropriate table manners but parents do need to play their part too - you don’t get to have a conversation with your spouse or friend, you have to interact with your child(ren). We managed to eat out regularly without poor behaviour before tablets and smartphones and my dd is autistic (diagnosed aged 2, not verbal until 4 yet was taught to behave). My thinking is people don’t sit at the table at home and don’t use the word no sufficiently!

If I was going out for a meal and my kid was watching an iPad, I would save the money and stay at home.
But totally agree that another kid using an iPad doesn't impact me. Better than them spitting.

holding a conversation with kids under 10 in a restaurant during the wait time is pretty hard work. No matter how delightful your kids are.

Because badly-behaved children are far more likely than well-behaved children in restaurants.

How about, no? I don’t have to change my life just because I have kids. How do you expect kids to get better if they can’t go to the Michelin starred restaurants? We pay the full whack. They can be there.

YANBU and there are plenty of places that they could take the children. Soft play or trampoline park for example. There are also child friendly restaurants they could have gone to - Pizza Express, Wagamama, Nando’s are all quick service & you would expect to find kids there. We should be more like the French.

iPads at the dinner table = ultimate in lazy parenting.

Eh. You teach them how to behave at home! I hate to think what my father would have done to me if he'd ever seen me spitting ANYWHERE, let alone at the meal table.