AIBU to feel used in a friends with benefits arrangement?

[AdeptLilacHare]

I just wanted someone to shed some light on FWB situations. So, I’ve met this guy 3 times now just for sex, nothing more. But literally we just meet for sex, there’s texting up until and around the actual meet mainly just trying to find when we’re both free, who’s hosting etc. then we meet for sex then nothing. No text after, no casual conversation in between nothing at all. Then in about 2/3 weeks I’ll get a “when are you next free” text
I have to clarify I’ve never done this before I’ve always had relationships which is obviously completely different and I aware that I shouldn’t expect much more than casual sex which is fine. But, literally just sex and no actual chatting or hanging out in between is making me feel a little used. I’m unsure how to feel do I just accept this for what it is, what’s everyone’s experiences on similar situations? Am I just expecting too much for something that’s supposed to be casual?

Why do you think he's immature

the fact I have been likened to a prostitute on this post so many times is ridiculous, in that case, many women could essentially be prostitutes for enjoying sex outside a committed relationship.

It's offensive but hilarious in equal measure.

As a former sex worker, I can't help but howl with laughter when I read these comments 🤣

Also the fact that is could only be said over an internet forum. If they find out one of their friends had a one night stand would their reaction be “oh so you were a protitute for the night” or to find out they’re having an affair “ so you’re now a part time protitute”

So why do you keep doing it? I would genuinely sit and think about this and ask yourself why you keep having sex with a man that makes you feel like shit.

You’ve said yourself you barely know him, you don’t chat and it’s only happened a handful of times. You won’t be losing anything if you end it, so why do you keep doing it? I’m not being horrible or anything but I think you only know the answer to this question and it would be something I personally would want to address before attempting to date again, so you don’t end up allowing yourself to be in this situation again.

He’s been clear that he only wants casual sex, not a FWB, not something that might lead into something else, just casual sex. This isn’t going to turn into anything else and you know how it’s making you feel so end up. You clearly aren’t cut out for casual sex and that’s absolutely okay, you know now for next time. But end it before you continue doing it and upset yourself even more.

She has ended it

Loads of us on this thread from start right through to now aren’t clear on what @AdeptLilacHare wants and whether she articulately this in their many discussions before having sex for the first time.

I suspect the chap was and remains as unclear about what the Op wants as most of us

Akin to a sex worker he didn’t have to pay for. I’d say same the other way around except OP wanted something more from this, he literally just wanted to hook up when he suited him with no conversation between. I think the whole FWB thing means you hang out occasionally too and text each other a bit at least.

Nothing to end

The Op has blocked him so in a few weeks when he rings the sex bell, the Op won’t come running.

It’s not that, it’s more the fact you wanted more from this than just sex but he essentially wanted to treat you like an unpaid sex worker. He had zero desire to speak to you whatsoever, just wanted to shag you when it suited him.

Yes, I think that's more likely

this is your body, why would you just accept it? absolutely fine if it works for it, but if it doesn't, why make yourself have sex with someone who isn't meeting your needs?

OP, I don't think you're wrong for wanting a slightly less cold arrangement. But it doesn't matter what internet strangers think, if its not working for you (and it certainly wouldn't work for me) you were right to end it.

You've been given a hard time on this thread.

I had a FWB for around 2 years. We met about once a month for a nice hotel stay, drinks, dinner, ‘fun’, overnight, breakfast. And in between we’d message/chat fairly frequently, most days. He was definitely a friend as well as a ‘benefit’ partner 😄 Neither of us felt slightly used. I wouldn’t have wanted your situation OP.

Sorry what.

Exactly that

Do you think it's ok that you decide why the Op has blocked this guy

What on earth are you on about 😆

You seem to be making a lot of digs at the Op and doing a lot of scenarios.

What? You have misunderstood. You’re on your own there

Well, if this were to be true, there are prostitutes everywhere 🤣

I'm making the point that you seem to be making up a lot of scenarios to suit your version of what you think happened and making digs at the OP as well.

I don't really think so. You seem really invested in what's happened and you've made posts saying how bored you are with the thread

The Op has blocked him so in a few weeks when he rings the sex bell, the Op won’t come running.

The sex bell??! Can you get that on the middle isle in Aldi, @Watermelonyea :)

What takes place in the middle aisle of Aldi? I've never visited one.