Woman in underwear in own home

[Alee36]

I'm raging and need to know if I'm blowing this out of proportion.We live in a first floor maisonette, house conversion. We moved in a month and a bit ago and (granted) for two weeks we were without curtains or blinds. Our living room window is at the front of the house and we have a large bay, so the main section of the living area is quite set back from the window.

I have returned from a rare evening out to my husband relaying a conversation he had with the next door neighbour, who knocked on the door. For context we have not met this neighbour yet. Apparently the neighbour said they are having their guttering done at some point next week, and that they will do ours at the same time (lovely,thanks). He then went on to say that last time his contractor was here, he 'saw your partner walking around in her underwear'. This has really bothered me, and more so because my husband said he doesn't see the big deal. My feelings are these:

1. It was a heatwave
2. I was in my own home
3. It would have been huge granny pants akin to shorts and a vest or crop top- you'd see more scantily clad people in the park or at the beach
4. I wouldn't have been parading in front of the fucking window, but rather just living my life and walking through
5. My husband frequently walked around in his pants in the heatwave, unsurprisingly this wasn't mentioned
6. Call me old fashioned, but a gentleman would avert his gaze and crack on with his job?

Overall, why on earth has a contractor passed on this information to our neighbour and why has my neighbour thought it appropriate to then tell my husband? Isn't that weird? That me in my underwear at home is being discussed in a chain of men. Like wtf? If he was trying to be helpful he could have had some tact, and said oh by the way we can see in your windows or something along those lines. I just find it bizzare and inappropriate, and actually quite sexist. Woman in underwear in own home- alert the press. In other news, bikinis allowed on beaches and forks found in kitchen.

Also they are doing the guttering at 'some point next week', so am I to hide out all next week lest I offend with my pjs or whatever I want to wear in my own fucking home?!

AIBU?

For the lolz 😆

😆 🤣 and the Peeping Tom hunters

You don’t seem to be having fun, you just seem confused.

I'm loving it now 😍

People who post just to argue with the OP usually do.

Haven't argued with the OP

Apologies, I didnt mean it negatively, just literally - i myself am a babbler if it helps!

The annoying thing is a man walking round in boxers would go unnoticed

I don't think a man would care that much though would he.

That just implies a man in his underwear has nothing to be ashamed of whilst a woman in hers and a camisole should be ashamed.

That's quite odd. I would decline the contractor and tell the neighbour it's pervy to look at people in their homes in their undies and comment on it.

Equally, the contractor could say he felt sexually harassed by a woman presenting herself in a state of undress while he was trying to work - you can't help what you see, after all.

Both scenarios ridiculous.

The contractor didn't see a man walking around in his pants, though, he saw a woman.

I do find it odd on here that whenever a thread is started where someone is naked or partially naked in their home where people can see in. The person who sees them is considered the pervert. I don’t think there is anyone who wouldn’t second look if they spotted their neighbour semi naked, naked or shagging in front of their window.

OP said her and her husband were both in their underwear. Funny how the contractor didn’t see the H.

And OP was wearing a camisole, she wasn’t bare chested.

The issue is that the contractor has made an issue of OP in her own home, which puts his motives in suspicion.

I don’t see how, he has simply mentioned it. If he wanted to look at her he’d have said nothing.

He’s likely assumed she doesn’t know. As said, most women, myself included, do not wish to be seen by the public in my underwear; I’m no prude, but it is not the same as the beach, at all.

OP has mentioned her living room is set quite far back so he seems to have made an effort to see her.

And of course men who look could still look to blame the woman for what she’s wearing.

Sexually harrased when she was in her own home? Don't be ridiculous

She’s not in public, she’s in her own home. She’s not even sitting by the window, she says her living area is set back far from the window.

Or maybe it was just a heads up like a normal person would assume…

I would assume the neighbour thought you weren't aware that you could be seen so was just giving the information, particularly if the workman is back next week. If you know you can be seen and don't mind fine.

Like any normal person would.

Had a similar situation here with my nephew (7 years old) and a telescope. My nephew has a telescope at my dad's house and he told me dad he could see a "lady changing" when he was looking out for the meteor shower..my Dad moved the telescope to a different room but worried for weeks he'd be labelled a creeper! Is it possible that the contractor is a man of dad age in a similar pickle? To my lovely old dad (late 60s) underwear and bikinis are two very different things, along with the awareness that somebody is seeing you. A bikini on the beach is something you have chosen to be seen in but, to the dad aged mind, you being at home in your underwear and him being able to see it is him inadvertently invading your privacy and he might have wanted to make it clear to the neighbour that this was unintentional in case it ever came up. The neighbour didn't communicate it well and I, like you, couldn't care less but would be annoyed that it's a topic of conversation.

The problem here and EVERYWHERE is MEN! They don’t avert their gaze or even lower their gaze.