Woman in underwear in own home

[Alee36]

I'm raging and need to know if I'm blowing this out of proportion.We live in a first floor maisonette, house conversion. We moved in a month and a bit ago and (granted) for two weeks we were without curtains or blinds. Our living room window is at the front of the house and we have a large bay, so the main section of the living area is quite set back from the window.

I have returned from a rare evening out to my husband relaying a conversation he had with the next door neighbour, who knocked on the door. For context we have not met this neighbour yet. Apparently the neighbour said they are having their guttering done at some point next week, and that they will do ours at the same time (lovely,thanks). He then went on to say that last time his contractor was here, he 'saw your partner walking around in her underwear'. This has really bothered me, and more so because my husband said he doesn't see the big deal. My feelings are these:

1. It was a heatwave
2. I was in my own home
3. It would have been huge granny pants akin to shorts and a vest or crop top- you'd see more scantily clad people in the park or at the beach
4. I wouldn't have been parading in front of the fucking window, but rather just living my life and walking through
5. My husband frequently walked around in his pants in the heatwave, unsurprisingly this wasn't mentioned
6. Call me old fashioned, but a gentleman would avert his gaze and crack on with his job?

Overall, why on earth has a contractor passed on this information to our neighbour and why has my neighbour thought it appropriate to then tell my husband? Isn't that weird? That me in my underwear at home is being discussed in a chain of men. Like wtf? If he was trying to be helpful he could have had some tact, and said oh by the way we can see in your windows or something along those lines. I just find it bizzare and inappropriate, and actually quite sexist. Woman in underwear in own home- alert the press. In other news, bikinis allowed on beaches and forks found in kitchen.

Also they are doing the guttering at 'some point next week', so am I to hide out all next week lest I offend with my pjs or whatever I want to wear in my own fucking home?!

AIBU?

Agree with this.

The reason it's "weeks later" is probably because the neighbour knew it wasn't appropriate to mention at the time, but now they're having work done at your level feels they should inform you.

Thank you!

True, I said do not wander about in underwear if you can be seen from outside. It's more modesty than suggesting that underwear is sexy (most of it isn't!).

I regularly walk round my house in my underwear but if it’s on an evening, will close the blinds or avoid the big back bi folds at all times of day (I know from neighbours houses, if I can see in from certain rooms, they can see in mine too!)

I think in all honesty it’s less about them being bothered at all you were in your underwear in your own home and more letting you know his contractor can see in. I’d personally appreciate the heads up and ask which day he’s coming. I’m happy to walk round in my underwear, but no, I don’t want some random contractor looking in at me (potentially taking photos) I do it for the freedom and convenience, not to be looked at!

Except that's not really what people are saying.

They're saying that the contractor probably thought OP wasn't aware people could see her, and was trying to find a way to make her aware, just in case.

OP is free to wander around in her pants all she likes. If she doesn't care that people can see her, it's no issue - if she does care, now she knows and can shut her curtains next time.

Just to play devils advocate. Was the neighbour telling you because he thought you might want to know that happened in case you didn’t want it to happen again? Some people would be mortified if someone had seen them in their underwear and would want to opportunity to make sure it didn’t happen next time?

I wouldn’t overthink, I just suspect the contractor felt bad for seeing you and the neighbour felt obligated to pass it on. I walk around in whatever I want even nothing at all!

Maybe he saw it as an invitation to the physical act of love (if you watched Friends you'll KWIM 😄)

I also think they felt bad and wanted to let you know you could be seen. Most women do not wish to be publicly seen in their underwear, so would appreciate the heads up if they’d not realised. I understand you are good with it, and that’s fine, but I’d not think anything malicious here.

I always walk around in my pants in the house 🤷‍♀️

You can ask your partner to go about in a mankini , Borat-style - for a few days. Equality and all that.

doesn't need to

but then can't complain people see her in her granny undies. It's a choice.

Same with wearing a bikini on a beach. I do. But then I can't complain people see me in a bikini

Well you are hardly likely to come back and say

”yep I was really pissed and I’m an angry drunk”

I reckon your husband was trying to spoil your rare night out

He probably thought you weren't aware people could see you and thought he'd give you a heads up. Less awkward to bring it up with your husband than directly with you.

There's absolutely nothing to get riled up about here.

He was trying to help. He assumed that you might not want to be seen and discussed by contractors , so he gave you a heads up.

Unless of course you want to be seen. But most people don't particularly want workies clocking them in their knickers.

There is a weird double standard with this.

My stepchildren’s mother called my husband and told him I was disgusting because I “paraded” around the house in my underwear in front of her children.
For context, this only happened once. The smoke detector was going off at 3am, so husband and I ran into the hallway to investigate (turned out the battery was dying), I was wearing full briefs and a cropped t-shirt.
Husband reminded her that we’d been on holiday with the children multiple times, where they’d have seen me in bikinis and swimwear that were more ‘revealing’ than big high waisted knickers and a cropped t-shirt. Also reminded her that last time he collected the children from her house, her partner opened the door in just his boxers 🤷🏽‍♀️

Go topless next week.

Yes I'd be very unlikely to say that, given it's not true 😂.

Again… hardly like to admit!

But twatty of your husband to think that you getting back from a rare night out would want to hear about this exchange then.

I wonder if your husband is making this up because he has a problem with it OR was he just trying to spoil your night out?

Topless whilst doing star jumps. That's the natural progression of this theme.

Stop making sense ! How dare you!

If someone is in the privacy of their home, you should assume they have their curtain and blinds situation in their windows to their own liking.

No one needs your information services in their own homes.

You should be glancing away from the window, not peering in.

And the DH wearing less but not getting any warning makes sense as well, right?

I don't get this thread at all. It's happened. No crime here. Life moves on..

If you don’t see the need for the thread, why comment? Why not let the rest of us crack on?