Woman in underwear in own home

[Alee36]

I'm raging and need to know if I'm blowing this out of proportion.We live in a first floor maisonette, house conversion. We moved in a month and a bit ago and (granted) for two weeks we were without curtains or blinds. Our living room window is at the front of the house and we have a large bay, so the main section of the living area is quite set back from the window.

I have returned from a rare evening out to my husband relaying a conversation he had with the next door neighbour, who knocked on the door. For context we have not met this neighbour yet. Apparently the neighbour said they are having their guttering done at some point next week, and that they will do ours at the same time (lovely,thanks). He then went on to say that last time his contractor was here, he 'saw your partner walking around in her underwear'. This has really bothered me, and more so because my husband said he doesn't see the big deal. My feelings are these:

1. It was a heatwave
2. I was in my own home
3. It would have been huge granny pants akin to shorts and a vest or crop top- you'd see more scantily clad people in the park or at the beach
4. I wouldn't have been parading in front of the fucking window, but rather just living my life and walking through
5. My husband frequently walked around in his pants in the heatwave, unsurprisingly this wasn't mentioned
6. Call me old fashioned, but a gentleman would avert his gaze and crack on with his job?

Overall, why on earth has a contractor passed on this information to our neighbour and why has my neighbour thought it appropriate to then tell my husband? Isn't that weird? That me in my underwear at home is being discussed in a chain of men. Like wtf? If he was trying to be helpful he could have had some tact, and said oh by the way we can see in your windows or something along those lines. I just find it bizzare and inappropriate, and actually quite sexist. Woman in underwear in own home- alert the press. In other news, bikinis allowed on beaches and forks found in kitchen.

Also they are doing the guttering at 'some point next week', so am I to hide out all next week lest I offend with my pjs or whatever I want to wear in my own fucking home?!

AIBU?

You’re getting a bizarrely hard time on here, OP. It was an annoying incident absolutely. I’d expect the contractor to not think twice and definitely not mentioning it to anyone unless he thought seeing someone in their underwear is a big deal? I’d then definitely expect the neighbour to not mention it, and to be honest if it was me who had hired that contractor I’d think they’re a right idiot and not hire them again.

Why would you gossip about it?

For me its the fact that they are looking through your window and discussing what they saw that is creepy and inappropriate. Express this to your neighbour an ask them to employ someone else.

What a way to ruin your rare night out. And leave you “raging” as you go to bed

Your husband could have waited at least for the morning

I don't walk around my house in my underwear cos i don't want neighbours or passer bys to see me.

What about upstairs where there arent "passersby"?

Lol I once lived in a 7th floor flat so was often wandering around in underwear or naked and didn't bother with curtains half the time. Got a bloody shock one day after a bath walking into the bedroom to see a man on scaffolding walking past the window

Neighbours opposite so i close the blinds.

As I said up thread, that is IF it really was the workman that saw her and made a comment to the nighbour.

Its more likely that its the neighbour that can see them and rather than admit it, he blamed it on the workman?

@5289843DM How could the neighbour see in a first floor window unless he is actively trying to see into @Alee36's home?

No one should have to censor themselves in their own home. If my neighbours or passerbys see me in my underwear in my own house (I have both a front and back garden) they are the ones who should be ashamed for staring into someone else's window long enough to see what they are wearing. Contractors should just get on with the job, stop looking in the window - the gutters are not in a window - or go back down the ladder for a minute to allow the person to move from their sight. Or get a different bloody job. @Alee36 was wearing a camisole and what could have been bikini bottoms in her own home - clothes that she could have worn in her garden in a heatwave.

He was completely unprofessional to say anything at all to the neighbour.

Wonder where else a woman is blamed for what she was wearing 🤔 Men should keep their opinions about what a woman is wearing to themselves and women should stop making excuses that he was just pointing it out in case the woman wasn't aware to another MAN.

And then hopefully you feel comfortable enough to walk around without clothes??

Or…. The husband doesn’t like it and made the entire thing up to piss off @Alee36 upon returning from her night out??

You are over reacting.

No, that's not who he is at all. I think he was quite baffled himself and was just relaying it verbatim. We've never met this man, this was our introduction to him. The rare night out was pertinent because I am always home (sad I know) I wfh and have had a knee injury so not been out much. It felt pointed that he waited until I wasn't in to knock.

Thank you so much for this. I feel like I'm going insane reading these replies. Like my point has gone completely over everyone's heads.

How was your neighbour to know you weren't at home?

Will someone please think of the men!!!

I walk past his house to go to the station for one. How was the contractor to know I was in my pants? How was I to know that someone could see me in said pants? How does anyone know anything.

He's not on trial, and he may well not have known I was just giving context re why it felt pertinent

What - the chain of men?

Yes in this particular chain, and all men really. Historically to date, globally, they have really had it rough, and my post is yet another injustice against them. One minute silence or however you'd like to spare a thought, as long as you spare it..... for the men.

I think thus far I've been called: entitled, a perv, a tantrum thrower, an angry drunk, cringe. Mumsnet is wild 😂

Yes, exactly as you put it, thank you. I thought it was as simple and obvious as that.

I would have laughed and said “hope he enjoyed it!” and moved on with my life.

You can comment to your husband all you want. I wouldn’t care in a heatwave. What I definitely wouldn’t do is go and tell HIS wife (in case she wanted to warn him he could be seen from the street). Who cares really?

I could understand if the OP was topless or totally naked but she was wearing ample underwear like you’d see at the beach or the pool and she wasn’t at the supermarket she was in her own home. It’s such a non event.

And calling it sexual harassment as one poster did is absolutely ludicrous.

This. With misogynistic bells on!!!