Wedding related would you do this? Outside perspective needed.

[EugenieGreen]

This is not a thread about decisions B&G have made.

Every one of the same ‘status’/‘tier’ has been treated exactly the same. No one has been singled out.

One spouse has been invited to a wedding on their side. Large famous hotel, they do not have exclusive use of this hotel but obviously have exclusive use of certain rooms etc.

The uninvited spouse wants to stay at the hotel which their spouse has paid for (at slightly discounted price). Watch a film in peace, use gym/ spa luxuriate a bit. Would be nowhere near wedding party, would not impinge, would not hang out with in-laws and spouse whose family it is, would not feel the need at any point to check in on spouse.

Aunt/mother of groom says not acceptable.

if you were spouse would you do this or do you think it’s rude? **

Logically I see why so many posters are saying to do it, but my emotional reaction is it could be seen being passive aggressive or a bit cringy to go. I guess it depends how much other people’s opinions bother you!

No one needs to ask anyone else's permission to use a hotel. It's the hotel management's decision whether to ban particular people or not.

Then they'll need to invite the spouses. Can't have it both ways.

I agree that on the one hand there shouldn’t be a problem but somehow there is.

I would 100% do this, especially if it’s a nice hotel! Do it with no shame.

It feels a bit pointed and I don’t think it’s appropriate but I can’t really justify my feelings!

YANBU to stay in the room with your spouse that you are paying for.

To be honest the wedding sounds a bit crazy with no spouses being invited anyway so I'm not surprised that the MoG is being controlling. But she absolutely cannot stop anyone else staying in the hotel. Just go and don't tell her any more about it. How does she even know or why does she have to know?

I’d call the hotel and ask if another person can be added to the room. Assuming it’s ok with them I don’t see why not. Just make sure at peak times (when you know everyone is leaving to the wedding/ breakfast etc) you aren’t anywhere near those areas and lay low.

touchy, much?

I would think that the mother of the groom and the aunt will be too busy on the wedding day enjoying the wedding breakfast to worry about who is in the spa in another area of the hotel - how would they even know?

Its not as if the room is being paid for by the wedding party, and the discount is from the hotel itself not any of the family

Id keep mum and go for it

Of course it’s fine

Out of sight and out of mind, they'll feel really guilty bumping into spouse and would likely feel obliged to invite. Then other spouses will find out and go nuts!
Much easier in their minds to make sure spouse is kept far, far away.

I think your suggestion is fine btw.

Strange sort of wedding if no spouses are invited. I think if the hotel room is paid for by the attending spouse then it's no one's business who stays in it apart from the person paying and it's certainly nothing to do with MoG.

If you are invited to a wedding, you see a spouse and wonder why they are not joining, and are told they were not invited, but they came to the venue,

in real life you cringe and laugh "meow, someone is offended and making a point" 😂

It does sound a little passive aggressive 'I'm not invited but here I am' sort of thing 😂but then again why waste a double room in fancy hotel , i'd probably go OP and enjoy the facilities. Mistake was letting it slip to Aunt/MOG

I wouldn’t think that at all. Especially if they told me they had been to the spa etc. If I saw them peering angrily through the doorway of the evening reception while it was going on with a face like thunder, then yes, that’s clearly someone peeved.

Careful. You'll almost certainly have more fun than attending another tedious wedding! And we can't be having that.

This.

I don’t see why not. The invitations are for the wedding, not the entire hotel.

The uninvited spouse wants to stay at the hotel which their spouse has paid for (at slightly discounted price)
Your spouse has paid for the room so gets to decide if they have it alone or have their other half along with them. It's not up to anyone else to decide who stays in that room unless they have paid for it imo. And it's not like you are going to crash the wedding.
I would go @EugenieGreen and hope you have a relaxing, pampered day and enjoy the evening with your partner once they have left the wedding celebrations

I wouldn't do this personally as stay away with work and a night in a hotel isn't really relaxing for me, plus I wouldn't fancy waking up in the night to a drunken snoring partner who's sweaty from dancing getting into bed with me.

But if you're OK with all that then I don't see why not at all, i can't see why it would impinge on the wedding in any way Follett the couple getting married or their guests

I think this is one of a few predictable consequences of their weird decision to exclude spouses. They can control who comes to their wedding, but they cannot control who comes to the hotel, and it's overreaching of them to think that they can.

Just like an invitation is not a summons, the MoG's opinion is not an official decree or holy writ!!

Ignore her silliness and enjoy the weekend away at the hotel. Even better, get together and party with the other banned spouses/partners.

My wife had a meeting with other people that do her hobby in Windsor. I went too and stayed in the room. I did not attend her hobby.

I was away on business, my wife came too. She was not involved in said meetings

My wife went to her cousin's wedding. I stayed upstairs as was not invited. No one knew.

No one was offended, there was no meow

Not invited, just keep entirely away. Just let your spouse go and do your own thing (separately, not at the hotel).