Wedding related would you do this? Outside perspective needed.

[EugenieGreen]

This is not a thread about decisions B&G have made.

Every one of the same ‘status’/‘tier’ has been treated exactly the same. No one has been singled out.

One spouse has been invited to a wedding on their side. Large famous hotel, they do not have exclusive use of this hotel but obviously have exclusive use of certain rooms etc.

The uninvited spouse wants to stay at the hotel which their spouse has paid for (at slightly discounted price). Watch a film in peace, use gym/ spa luxuriate a bit. Would be nowhere near wedding party, would not impinge, would not hang out with in-laws and spouse whose family it is, would not feel the need at any point to check in on spouse.

Aunt/mother of groom says not acceptable.

if you were spouse would you do this or do you think it’s rude? **

It's not exclusively hired so no I don't see it as a issue at all as long as they aren't then going to the wedding or brunch. It's a bit odd not to invite spouses but they don't get a say of who's allowed into a hotel room!

If b&g have not paid for room then it's totally fine to go and hang out in room/spa. The wedding party won't be using the spa on wedding day anyway. In-laws need never know.

Breakfast could be a funny one

Room service.

It might make the wedding party feel a little bit guilty, but to be honest, I would want to do this too! You mean she doesn't have to go to a wedding, but instead can make use of the hotel facilities and have a quiet night to herself in a fancy room?! YES. PLEASE!

I reckon it’s the same poster. The responses last time were very negative if I remember rightly! This has been phrased in a different way…. Presumably in the hope to get different replies 🤣

Only if you've paid £200 to park on the road, which includes access to a roadside spa, and loads of other people will also be paying £200 to park on the road and use the roadside spa.

So mother of groom is saying that people booked into a hotel that have paid for their room cant have anyone else in their room, bat shit crazy and none of her business, if your hubby was single and pulled some bird would she not be ok with that either, go enjoy yourself and if you see her in the hotel smile and walk on, orrrrr you could gate crash reception and really piss her off in your towel waving a bottle of prosecco

Is the room rate the same for single and double occupancy?

Perhaps MADMOG intends to march around all the rooms of the lone invitees when the wedding is over peering in the wardrobes and throwing back the bedclothes to check they haven’t sneaked anyone else in their room.

The last thread had the OP suggest getting dressed up and seeing if they could have a cheeky dance at the reception which I thought was pushing it too far. Ultimately you don't need someone's permission to use a hotel, the hotel decides whether or not to accept your booking.

That is not normal 🤣🤣

They may not have said anything to you, but I bet they did to each other. You gatecrashed their wedding dude!

I was married to a wedding singer, we gatecrashed many a wedding.

OP if you are sure that no spouses are invited and it is not just some convoluted story your partner has made up so he can bring an affair partner instead then I say go and to hell with what others think. They won't see you after all.

Sounds a very strange wedding where a number of married people attending are expected to attend without their spouses. I could understand if the uninvited partner was the OM / OW of the FOB/ G or MOB/G, but with no backstory, then odd. I don’t think the partner should attend or stay in the hotel if they are not invited.

It’s a shame MOG found out

theres nothing wrong with a partner staying to make use of facilities

MOG is being ridiculous if the spouse paid for room then b and g have no say.

Maybe ask if the MoG would mind if the invited spouse paid for a sex worker to spend the night in the room rather than their spouse.
Ignore the comment, if you’ve never met them they wouldn’t know you anyway if you passed in the corridor

It's a shame that Aunt, mother etc have been told about this plan, because it is none of their business, provide you do exactly as described and keep away from the wedding party. Don't mention it again and tell your partner not to either, and hopefully the others will stop thinking about it.

This is exactly what I would fear would happen and puts the B&G in a very awkward position. "Well Xs wife was at the afters". Few would believe Xs wife had the absolute cheek to just arrive at the afters she wasn't invited to and it could cause a rift because then all spouses would appear to not be treated the same!

That was so cheeky! You essentially turned up at an event you weren't invited to! And anyway its different to the OP because they are stressing how much the person will NOT be going near the wedding!

I wouldn't go, it's just too cringy 😊

Hmm, maybe because she has been asked not to.

I think it would have been fine if you hadn’t mentioned it, but now that you have and the family has said no, I don’t think you can do it without causing family upset. It’s not worth it just for a fancy bubble bath.

Person paying for the room chooses who stays there. No-one else's business.

MoG could be worried about people preferring to be with their spouses than spending the last hours of the wedding reception.

Agree - unless there will be some kind of room inspection! As an aside, a bloody weird family where spouses not invited, how many siblings are there? It is giving off we are family and we have no interlopers. Also not true to say no spouses invited as once the couple are married there will be a spouse - do they have to leave after the ceremony!

Absolutely nothing to do with anyone in the wedding party, none of their business who else stays at hotel and uses facilities