AIBU to utterly despise someone based on one comment they made?

[Bleachedjeans]

There was a similar thread a couple of years ago but it quickly sank into posters arguing and correcting grammar so it quickly became very boring…
So, here’s mine, triggered by 9/11 memories:
9/11. TV on most of the day updating etc. Naturally, because it was a news programme on all day, it was repetitive. He moaned about the repetition.
When the early evening news came on and obviously it was the first big story my partner at the time said “They’re spoiling it now, keep showing it over and over”
I said (something like) “Spoiling what? The thrill and excitement of seeing thousands people die in horrific circumstances?”
I despised him from that moment.

1. For not recognising that a TV news channel is repetitive and not everyone is watching it all day.
2. For using the word ‘spoil’ under such circumstances, as if watching it was some sort of entertainment.

I absolutely despised him from that moment. AIBU to absolutely despise someone based on one comment? I don’t think so!

I think the word “spoiling” was the giveaway.
”To destroy or reduce the pleasure, interest, or beauty in something.”

Does that make it clearer?

I'm guessing you were too young to witness it at the time.

And yes I do understand the point your making.

Good for you.
my DH and I were chatting to a neighbour who was selling her house, she said “I have had an offer, which I’ve accepted, and it’s ok, don’t worry, they are like us” swiftly followed by a racist slur. My DH just said we are glad YOU are leaving after that comment, and we walked away.

Yes, it's possible. I was watching a tv programme and a girl on there turned up her nose and said ewww when somebody asked if she liked cats! From that moment on I couldn't stand her.

A friend of mine ten years ago said the same thing and I reply so you have zero rapes in your country then as the women are totally covered up. He actually apologised and said point taken.

I utterly despise all the people making comments on social media about the RNLI being traitors and all the so called ‘ patriots’ marching through the street wanting to take our country back, utterly despise every last one of them.

My ex said as the horrific news broke

‘Why are you upset, you don’t know any of them’.

Ex MIL nice as pie until we got engaged and she asked to see the ring. “Well you’re not very understated are you?” Entered her MIL from hell era. Her son chose and bought the bloody ring! 🙄

My narcissistic mother can’t take accountability for anything she’s ever done to hurt me. In her eyes, she’s never done anything wrong.

I went to therapy to help me work through the childhood trauma I experienced, and it really helped me build my confidence and find the strength to talk to her calmly about things that had hurt me, rather than approaching her angrily.

Instead of responding with empathy or even trying to understand my feelings, she turned around and said, “When my friend’s daughter had therapy, she also turned nasty.” WTF?! 🤦🏼‍♀️

I’ve been no contact with her ever since.

Mine was my ex got that statement from HMRC showing where your tax goes. He told me he resented paying for the NHS and even if he got cancer he’d never get his money back. I thought it was such a gross statement he only earned around £30k so not true.

I was pregnant at the time he’s was cheating on me. They are together now she went onto get cancer I’ve always wondered if it was some kind of karma (I’m not saying people that get cancer deserve it btw)

‘Spoil’ may have been an unfortunate word. But yes, over-repetition of any news diminishes its impact. It’s nice to hear ‘I love you’. But all day, every 5 minutes?
Of course, if you’re looking for a trigger, you’ll always find one!

(CW) Was at work when the Dunblane massacre happened. This guy was staring at the television screen in the canteen at the scenes of the parents racing to the school, and the first thing he said was, 'that must have been some gun he had.' I just felt ice-cold with sheer revulsion.

Lol I really had to chuckle at this...after first choking on my tea to the "how old was he" "60" comment...I assume it was expected he was early 20s. And agreed yaNbu

Yes I had a blighted ovum which was found out at my 12 week scan. She said a few things
At least there was no baby
So you never was pregnant
Why are they doing an op seems a waste

Even 10 yrs later I still can't look at her the same way.

Not as dreadful as many of the comments on here, but I was in a hospital waiting room once and there were several women (nurses? Not sure) who would come out to call the patients in to be seen. A man of advanced years said loudly, come his turn: “oh, I was hoping to get the pretty one.” I’m sure he thought he was most amusing. Tosser.

I wrote off a very good looking guy at uni the first time I heard him speak - he said something extremely lewd and derogatory about my body without realising I could hear him. I never spoke to him in three years.

Many years ago I was unfortunate enough to witness a horrendous elderly man Vs articulated lorry incident right outside my window. I was only in my early 20s (not that it would be any less harrowing now) and was extremely upset by this. ExH came home from work and I was visibly upset, told him what happened and he pretty much shrugged it off and proceeded to moan about how bad his day at work had been! Apparently that was worse than seeing someone lose their life in an extremely horrific way! Cunt

Plain and simple, it gave her the ick. Don't be such a snot.

Someone whom I was quite friendly with at an evening class. He was the life and soul of the party type and all the class seemed to like him. At our first class after 9/11 he thought he was being funny when he said Well it was only a load of Yanks, so who cares?
Another was when my cousin's husband made fun of my aunt and uncle in front of them. They were the kindest people and he was so rude and 20 years later I still despise him.

I agree with Spiritadder. “spoiling it” clumsy but I would have thought he meant that seeing it on repeat takes away the initial horrifying aspect, and appears as if it had no reality. I remember I had to switch it off and tv channels has to reprogram lighter viewing later in the evening because so many were becoming traumatised by the repeats

The answer to your last question is ‘because he used the word spoil’. That’s why her mind went there, it followed from the meaning of what he said.

Of course we should be open to the possibility of different interpretations. But sometimes there just isn’t anywhere to go with a word someone uses. It means something and that’s that. I think this is an example of the word he chose being a clear revelation of what he was thinking.

When my premature twins were in incubators in ICU my FIL asked me ' So what's the prognosis? You know, survival-wise?' He was already far from my favourite person but the bluntness of that comment cut me to the core and I acknowledged to myself then that my gut instinct about him wasn't wrong and I vowed to listen to it. Didn't help that I was surging with hormones and very over protective of my babies! A couple of weeks later I had to argue with him about why he could not visit the NICU while he had shingles. He actually said that 'he' didn't want to miss out (on seeing them). Unbelievable! He died a couple of years later but our relationship had deteriorated by then and was only going to get worse.

My partner at the time asked why I was crying watching the news reports as I didn't know the people who were dying. Never saw him the same again after that.

I remember a work colleague popped his head into my shared office to check if we had heard what was happening -.we had. I remember he said 'its quite exciting actually ' or something along those lines. It has always stuck with me too -such a tactless comment. I think thought it's the distance and seeing it on the TV is like a movie - and people can taccept the reality of whats happening.
I remember when he left, saying a prayer for those people who had died or were in serious trouble.

I dumped the bloke who I’d been seeing for 3 years and was planning to buy a house with when he made comments about 9/11 when the aeroplanes hit the towers.
I am not going to repeat what he said he as it was abhorrent.
I despised him after that and he was dumped very shortly after.