AIBU to feel angry after my ex took the car back?

[Walkerss]

So 3 years ago my ex left me for somebody else, I have finally got to a place where I am happy, the kids are happy and all is going well.

when we were a couple we made an agreement that I would pay nursery fees and he would pay the finance on my car. Obviously since the split there have been constant threats to take the car and last night he turned up and demanded the keys. I gave them to him and instantly felt relieved that he didn’t have anything else on me. However school is quite a drive away since I moved area and I told him I wouldn’t be able to take them to school. His response was, not my problem, I can take them on my days so it’s nothing to do with him.

how can he be so evil?! At least warn me so I had time to get a car. I hate him!

To get sympathy and people can you advice on a situation that wasn't happening.

The tables have turned because you lied.

People don't like liars.

People took time and effort to write helpful responses and it was all for nothing as you didn't even need a car to take your kids to school.

No I just didn’t put it on the second that it happened, it still happened, I still struggled and I still think it was a very shitty thing to do. It was lucky I did what I did knowing what I know now

????

You told everyone you couldn't get your child to school as he had taken the car. You said "last night he turned up and demanded the keys".

And then you told everyone that you had changed your kids school and could not walk to school.

Please stop with the lies.

And said he didn't know they'd changed schools and it wasn't her problem that he didn't know, then immediately changed that to he DID know and was involved in the process.

I reckon drugs or trolling or severe mental health issues. Or all three.

This thread has been about a mother who wants to vent, because their former partner is making life more difficult than it has to be simply because he can. And she might not have known that she could get the kids into the closer school or start them in the closer school until after he took the car away.It’s about the principal of the matter. From the very beginning, she’s never said it was an insurmountable issue, or one she couldn’t fix. I never read it as more than a temporary inconvenience.

She already posted that she applied to the school before he took the car away.

it was a good job I did! I didn’t know he was going to take the car away!

the whole point of this is his actions towards his children.

1. taking transport away when there was no need
2. applying to reduce cms payments as his not biological child now comes first
3. not wishing the children well for their first day of a brand new school which must’ve been daunting.
4. applying for reduced cms payments because he collects them from
5. me as I don’t know where he lives…..

I could go on and on and on

Yes. And maybe he did already know that she could sort it. Maybe he already knew that school would ultimately not be an issue. That doesn’t mean he didn’t really cause hardship. He could just ask easily have waited a week until after they started the school where they walked. He could’ve told her he wanted the car back on the first, and given her a few weeks to navigate getting a replacement. I would argue that people are way too focused on the detail of school. That was provided of as an example of one of the ways in which his taking the car made her life difficult that affected the kids. And yeah, it was one of the clearest examples that would get her some sympathy. Again, all she wanted to vent. And someone to agree either with her that her former partner was a jerk.

Yet you posted this trying to attack me when you know full well you can get your children to school and now you are saying it's his problem if he can't get them to school because you changed schools.

You only posted this to attack other people who don't bow down in sympathy to you. Unfortunately MN admin don't agree you are not genuine. You certainly aren't posting in good faith.

@20centurySteph The children were already at the new school before she posted this thread. He knows they had started the new school as she is complaining he didn't wish them a good day at their new school when they started as it wasn't his day.

None of these are actions towards his kids, they are actions towards you

1. He doesn't want YOU to have his car, and he removed it from YOU. His kids now walk to school so don't need the car...
2. He is entitled to do this. He is responsible first to pay for the children in his household; you might not like it, but take it up with the government.
3. How can he wish them well if he didn't see them?
4. Again...he is entitled to apply to reduce payments if he is doing more coparenting than declared
5. you have no right to his address, my DH's ex doesn't know our address...not because we hate her, actually, we all get on fine, but because he does pick-ups and drop-offs, and she has never asked...because she doesn't need to know. (Obvs we'd tell her if she needed to know).

If it happened two years ago - based on your claim you split 3 years ago - You had been split up for a year and he had already told you multiple times he was taking back the car. He did. So you have had your children in a school walking distance for 2 years. Now he is living with someone else and applied to reduce CMS. You haven't increased your own working hours even though your children are at school, not nursery nor got another car within those two years?

Why are so many people saying “but it’s his car”?? A car he could only afford to buy FOR the OP because she paid nursery fees for their child/ren…

And one he snatched back the night before it was needed to take his kids to school with no notice or warning??

You've obviously not read the full thread, or even the OPs posts

She was silly to agree to pay for something that left her with no asset, while he got to pay for an asset - yes he is a prick, but she really should be over this two years later.

"And one he snatched back the night before it was needed to take his kids to school with no notice or warning??"

He didn't though. They've been walking to their new school, and he knows that. Apparently. OP has repeatedly lied, and changed her story pretty much every time she posts.

He probably is a dick, and if she'd have come here and said 'my ex is a dick, he took the car back with no warning, it's not the end of the world, but it's annoyed me', I'm sure she would have got more people sympathising (I definitely would have been sympathetic). But instead she's changed her story every time and been arsey and combative with everyone to boot.

I feel like he did snatch the car back the day before she had to take the kids to school, but that just didn’t happen yesterday it happened a couple of months ago.

Not sure why it’s a less dickish thing to do because she asked two months later??

Hindsight is 20/20 - I can guarantee when she was still married to this man and living as a family she wasn’t worrying about whether the financial split arrangements would give them equal assets in the event they split up and he became a total arsehole

Because she stated it was current. ( Last night he turned up,) Were her exact words

Why are you bothering to discuss this with me?

I'm not the OP, and if I was I wouldn't be writing a thread so full of holes and backtracking.

I mean who knows when it happened or what the truth is?

No, I agree, I'm sure he is a dick.

Look. I’m sorry that it wasn’t in real time but it happened. I told him to give me a a few more days but he just turned up at my house which I find awful, I don’t even know where he lives. I also find it absolutely ridiculous that he can get hold of me whenever he wants and I can’t call him as I am blocked. This is about him wanting to control literally everything.

i actually know what is going going to happen now and I won’t allow it. He sees the kids 4 nights a month (every other weekend) he would usually book them into after school club on a Friday but he will be expecting me to pick them up and he can pick them up whenever he bloody pleases as he knows they are with me. This is not happening

Why does he get to be a parent when he chooses. The fact that he hasn’t even called them and every other family member has speaks volumes. I’m actually fuming that instead of doing that he was doing everything he could to pay less towards HIS children

Also, I had a voicemail off him and it was obviously by accident and it was his new missus saying “she doesn’t even know what we’ve done and it’s been 3 days “

how the fuck can I when I cannot get hold of him!

in all honesty I just want this fucker out of my life. I will thrive, the kids will thrive, it’s just becoming way too hard.

I spent an hour getting my son into his new school! He was so upset, his dad does not give a flying fucking shite!