AIBU to feel angry after my ex took the car back?

[Walkerss]

So 3 years ago my ex left me for somebody else, I have finally got to a place where I am happy, the kids are happy and all is going well.

when we were a couple we made an agreement that I would pay nursery fees and he would pay the finance on my car. Obviously since the split there have been constant threats to take the car and last night he turned up and demanded the keys. I gave them to him and instantly felt relieved that he didn’t have anything else on me. However school is quite a drive away since I moved area and I told him I wouldn’t be able to take them to school. His response was, not my problem, I can take them on my days so it’s nothing to do with him.

how can he be so evil?! At least warn me so I had time to get a car. I hate him!

Since yesterday?? I think you are talking bullshit. In less than 48 hours he's taken the car so you couldn't get the kids to school. Then asked for and been rejected on a discount on CMS due to his partners child and now suddenly you have got your kids in a very good school in walking distance

That’s wonderful! Hopefully that will make life easier for you even if and when you do sort out a car.

What a dick!. At least now he can't hold the threat of taking the car over you anymore.

This.

@Walkerss - have you cancelled the car insurance and got a refund? And proof of no claims benefit

That was quick

Hang on, you walk to school? I was going to say email these school , cc ex, and say My children’s dad has taken our family car (as I’m sure he will tell you it was bought in his name when we were together) so I have no means of getting John and sally ti school on tues wed and Thurs. I’m working on options but they may be absent those days, I’ll ask their friends if they can help for a few weeks while I sort something but can’t guarantee it.

but if walking is fine don’t send that, you’ll look silly.

Which he presumably knew all the time was an option and that removing the car wasn't going to be a school issue.

Why did you give him the keys if you believed that car was yours?

You are legally obliged to support the children living in your household - that’s how means testing works for a lot things, for example child benefit, free school meals and university costs. Of course, I personally support my own children who also live with me, but I don’t have the choice to ‘opt out’ of paying for stepchild - as with my own children if I don’t buy her lunch she does not get lunch! If I had a means tested deduction for child support (which I don’t as I pay myself) it would include consideration of costs of DSD. Now, I’m not saying that’s morally right, and it is obviously rubbish for OP, but the government expect you to care for the children in your family household/unit whether or not they are ‘yours’. I can see the logic in that as why should taxpayer cover the costs of my stepchild’s lunch when she is part of my household and I earn enough to pay for it (her dad is on a much lower salary and would qualify for free school meals)? Similarly if OP’s ex is in a family unit with his new partner’s child, he will be expected to stump up costs…whether he does or not is a whole other issues and there is obviously huge scope in this policy for stepchildren to be abused/neglected if the stepparent decides paying is not their responsibility. Again, OP’s ex is a shit, but is not doing anything wrong in a legal sense.

Actually no I applied over the school holidays as it was hard enough with a car to get there! Much easier now and they seem to have settled in ok. This isn’t my point, he doesn’t know this and what if I hadn’t done that?

So why were you bleating in first post about not able to get your kids to school. If you applied in the holidays they'd have started at beginning of term so then the post is a lie

Why is it a lie? You are literally clutching at straws, this is NOT about the car!

So you applied over the school holidays (when the school was shut and most local authorities don't process applications?) and the ex knew that and knew that you would no longer need the car to get the kids to school, so took back the car he believes he paid for, as he had been telling you for 3 years that he was going to do? And you gave him the keys to a car you firmly believed was yours.

What on earth has this thread been about?

However school is quite a drive away since I moved area and I told him I wouldn’t be able to take them to school

But you walk to school you now say?

So it isn't a drive away and you CAN take them to school?

Confused

I didn’t know if I was going to them into the school and obviously there was a few days where I struggled to get them there but again this is not about the car!!!!

A school move is a significant change, how have you done this without the knowledge and involvement of the other parent?

I have tried to tell him but he doesn’t give a shit. Too busy making cms claims and taking cars than to wish his kids a great first day at their new school.

Well that's most unusual as permission of both parents is required to change a child's school.

A bit of notice that he wanted it back so you could sort an alternative would have been the right thing to do but it was his to take.

Well I’ve managed to do it?

And he doesn't know? Where is he going to take them on the days he drops them off?

Again, not my problem

Can I suggest you check your thread title 🤔 🤣 ?

Yes. I know what my title says but I have stated after that that my issue is the way he has gone about the whole thing.

Well it might help me understand if you would answer the question I've asked you three times. If you honestly believed the car was yours why did you give him the keys.

And why do you think 3 years of warning he was going to take the car, then taking it right at the end of the school holidays before they start at a school they can walk to was unreasonable?