Is my dad being unreasonable?

[AnimalChaos]

My dad gives all his grandchildren a lump sum on their 25th birthday. The grandchildren are all in their twenties so have either received it already or will receive it very soon.

My sister has 2 children who have both received it. She also has 2 step children, one has just turned 25 and one is 23. She has been their step mum since they were 10 and 8.

My dad did not give her stepchild child the lump sum for his 25th birthday and my sister has fallen out with him over it. She thinks he is unreasonable for not giving her step children the same. My dad’s reasoning is that he wants his money to go to his biological grandchildren.

Would you say my dad being unreasonable? My sister wants me, our brother and all of our children to tell our dad he should give her stepchildren the same lump sum. I’ve said I sympathise but we can’t tell him how to spend his money and it’s a shame to fall out over it.

My brother has 2 children and a stepchild who is 22. He has said it’s up to our dad what he does with his money. He’s been his step dad since he was 13.

I have 2 children and no step children.

Some people are saying that this has nothing to do with his actual will, but realistically, unless he's a billionaire, it IS going to have a direct impact on his will and how much he has left to leave when the time eventually comes.

Even to most wealthy people, an additional £150K is a serious chunk of their life savings - it's absolutely nothing like offering to pay the bill for everybody's meal at a big family gathering, blood relative or not.

This is definitely one of those cases whereby OP's sister has chosen to consider her DH's children as no different from her own children - which is lovely - but you cannot make decisions in your own life that suddenly bind somebody else to a financial obligation, especially not to the tune of £150K!

If your sister’s issue is the perceived inequality (rather than being grabby) then the solution is simple.

Has he given the money to your sister’s kids yet?

If not, perhaps he could put together the money he was going to give to them and divide it amongst your sister’s children and stepchildren. That way they are all treated equally. The bio children will get less than originally planned of course but at least they will be treated the same 🤷‍♀️