Can someone give me some examples of what struggling with executive functions looks like for an adult with adhd?

[Coldwetlettuce]

Not really an AIBU but would like replies! I understand executive functions to be stuff like driving, doing laundry, having a shower, making the bed. Am I right? People keep telling me I have ADHD and people with adhd struggle with executive functions (I find all this language around it annoying). Anyway, can anyone give examples of how an adult with ADHD would struggle with these ‘executive functions’?

Who are all these people who keep telling you that you have adhd ?

It can vary hugely in people with ADHD as can presentation of ADHD which involves a lot more difficulties than executive functioning.

You can do a simple internet search to research for yourself so why are you starting a thread on one trait and yes who are all these people overly invested?

For me it’s like my “to do” list is a spaghetti tangle that I can’t figure out. I see the dish washer needs to be done so I’ll start scraping pans out but the bin is full. So I empty the bin and then spot the washing on the line. I get the washing in and dump the basket and the divining room table is full of stuff so I can’t fold it. So I start to clear the table and then take a craft project to the spare room where I find another unfinished project and it piques my interests. So I craft for 30 minutes for the domaine hit bit it turns into 6 hours and before I know it I haven’t eaten, and not a single one of the jobs I had the very best of intentions to do, has been done. It’s like hearing 5 I distinct different radio stations but you have to try to tune into just one to hear what it is, but the knob is broken and you are blindfolded. Everything requires more effort for less results UNLESS you are invested in the thing you are doing or it’s a competition or pattern recognition task.

I am Autistic. I am fairly certain I am AuDhd.

For me I think struggling with executive function would be my inability to just concentrate on the task in hand. I start to do something and then get distracted because I'm thinking about something else and I go off and start doing another task whilst leaving the first one unfinished and then i ll get distracted again and start something else so I end up with a few things on the go and go back and forth between them all.

For example if I start the washing up I will suddenly think the plants need watering and I'll start doing that leaving the washing up part way through. Then while I m wayering the plants I'll see some dust and get the duster out and deal with that. Then go back to the washing up leaving the plants only partly watered. Then I'll suddenly think.i must take the recycling and food waste out . So im doing so many things at once rather than finishing one and starting another.

I have ADHD but I don't struggle with driving (other than being nervous but I think that's age rather than ability) or showering. However I can procrastinate for Britain when given a deadline, will delay doing things that really need doing (for some reason I expect the hole in my roof to just heal itself up, rather than getting a man in to fix it).

I can't watch a film or anything that lasts longer than about 30 minutes before I get bored. Going to new places scares me in case I go wrong somewhere or do something wrong, I hate not knowing where I am going to be able to park for instance. I fixate on something that interests me and will talk about it to the exclusion of all else (although I can read cues when people want me to stop, but only after learning how to do this).

But I don't know how much of this is ADHD, how much is just what everyone experiences and how much is just 'me' and I would have done it anyway, with or without ADHD.

Thinking you really need to do something (like make an important appointment/order medication) then forgetting for days on end.

Putting your keys/glasses/phone down for a moment, then completely forgetting where and searching for hours.

Getting so absorbed in a task (not necessarily an important or productive task) that you miss mealtimes or appointments.

Being unable to function usefully without a detailed diary kept up-to-date and checked daily.

@cuckoolodger

That's me exactly!

This is actually a very good example (of an average non workday morning for me 🙈😆)...

What do you mean you ‘find the language around this annoying’? Executive function is something that everyone has. It’s the management system of the brain that controls the mental skills used to plan, focus, remember instructions, and juggle multiple tasks successfully. People with ADHD often struggle with these things, but it’s not exclusive to people with ADHD

Often, it is more like paralysis. So there is such a list of things that need doing, and objectively you know they do, but you just can't start. And because of that you get angry with yourself, and the downward spiral of self hatred begins.

Why do you "hate all the language" around this? Is it a general hatred of medical terminology or this subject specifically?

Executive function is just the brain's management / organisational function.

It's not just having a shower or driving.

It's used in anything that requires planning, prioritizing, remembering what you're doing, and focusing on it.

It also impacts getting started on tasks, keeping on tasks and avoiding impulses that might distract you.

Things like having a shower might be easy for most people to the point you don't have to think about it.

Someone with executive functioning issues might 1. Forget they need to wash their hair and get out of shower without doing it 2. Get distracted by other things in bathroom, go into bathroom then forget what they should be doing 3. Struggle with considering the different steps of having a shower, feel overwhelmed, feels like too much so don't bother 4. Not remember the best order to do things in the shower eg get towel ready first, check you have shampoo. 5. Be able to cope less readily if something goes wrong eg shower goes cold for a while, shower loses pressure.

And in actual fact I personally really like the "technical" language as it presents adhd more as an actual neurological issue, as opposed to the current SM presentation of "quirky? Messy? Disorganised? You must have adhd!" Which i think really minimises the condition....

Check out Russell Berkeley for his lectures on adhd - i think he does a TED talk for the attention-challenged 😆 - to get a good overview of executive function in relation to adhd.

What on earth is your issue with “the language” @Coldwetlettuce ?

The tasks you are describing are not ‘executive functions’ themselves, rather tasks that require executive functioning skills. It’s a scientific term describing skills such as working memory,
time management and inhibition control that are controlled by the pre-frontal cortex in the brain. Everyone, with ADHD or not, has an executive functioning system.

To add more examples: time management - I am terrible at matching up numerical dates with days of the week and month. I know roughly what is coming up but it is incredibly difficult for me to focus on anything but what is happening that day or week. This can often lead to ‘oh shit’ moments when I sit down to plan the week ahead and realise I am double/triple booked, and have to scramble to rearrange things. And then I am exhausted, and the cycle continues.
Memory - I can place an object down for a second and then completely lose sight of it and not find it again til later. I know where the passports/birth certificates/important documents are but I could put down my cup of tea and not find it again.

edited - X posted with many!

Regardless of whether I have ADHD the language around executive function made a lot of sense for me and helped me. Also decision paralysis and similar. Because I used it to find possible solutions. The 'do.one thing' approach helps me greatly. So I have 400 things to do, my brain can't Untangle and categorise and focuses so much on how much I have to do I'm just bobbing about paralysed. I do whatever thing is closest physically. Today that was making my son's bed. Which meant I made the other beds. I'm having breakfast then I'm going to put washing on. It leads to things being done in a haphazard way but it overcomes the fact my brain wants a plan it can't formulate before it does things. Doing haphazardly is better than paralysis.

Wrt household tasks I just let myself do that now. Who cares if the sequence goes "start washing up, realise hob needs a wipe, oh there's some food to throw away, bins full, empty bin, oh, empty food caddy too, oh look the greenhouse needs a water, wow, ripe tomatoes, put them in the fridge, finish washing up, put new bag in the bin"?

Work, parenting and life admin prove more challenging in this respect.

If you need you need to ask, you needn’t worry.

One of the things for me is around organising dates. If someone asks me if I’m free to go to something on such and such a week I panic. Which days am I free. Have I forgotten to put something in the diary and then double book?

Also if someone gives me a list of any type, like directions or instructions. My mind just goes completely blank, And if they aren’t completely clear about what they want I’ll panic that there might be two ways of interpreting them. I struggle with recipes and often miss a vital step or do them in the wrong order. I’m also a bit number blind and transpose numbers if I’m not really concentrating hard - I could never be a bank teller for example.

Getting motivated to do things is a real hard one. I find it hard to start but then can get completely immersed in it once I do. Or at other times I get easily distracted and start several tasks at once and struggle to complete any of them.

I have to physically prepare things in advance I can’t do things in the moment as I can’t trust I’ll remember them all. So for example I’ll have to put all the things I need to take by the front door so I remember them all or leave myself notes.

My mind is constantly a bit jumbled. I was talking to someone about this and they said their brain is largely clear: what they did yesterday, what’s happening today, conversations they’ve had etc. Mine’s always a bit confused like there’s something just out of reach that I really should remember and action.

My young adult with adhd can't organise himself. He forgets to set alarm clocks, forgets things he needs for work the next day, can't keep track of time and is often late. These are the behaviours that pushed him to get a diagnosis because they were negatively impacting his life and his work.

Alongside that his bedroom is a mess, he can never find his keys or his shoes. He'll go to football without his kit. He'll go into the bathroom to clean his teeth but end up having a shower because he's forgotten what he went in there for. It's exhauating.

He just muddled along though until it started getting in his way at work. Having been through the diagnosis process with him I'd probably qualify myself but my random behaviour doesn't hold me back.

I think that's the key, if it's affecting your life, and potentially your job and your mortgage or rent payments, then it's a problem that needs diagnosis and maybe treatment. If you just have a string of half finished jobs trailing after you but they don't bother you then who cares?

I cant tell you what its like for an adult - but i can tell you about my child, who is 10 and had ADHD. If i tell them to brush their teeth, on the way up, there will be a bit of lego on the step that they left there before, its incomplete, so they bring it up with them to finish it, in the middle of playing, they remember, oh - its brush teeth time, so they go into the bathroom, where the toothpaste isnt there, so they hunt for that, in the middle of hunting, they find a book they were reading from before, then reads for 1 hour, suddenly - its brush teeth time! Remembers there is no toothpaste, so opens a new one, after brushing teeth, they get ready for bed, and finds the old toothpaste, so brings that into the bathroom, while there, there is another piece of lego that was uncomplete so that now becomes the focus, 1 hour later, they remember - its bed time! They are on medication and when they are - NONE of these happen.

Your comment about the language used is quite odd and suggests that you are a little skeptical. Executive functioning a key part of cognition and can be impacted by many conditions that affect the brain, such as stroke, brain injury, dementia. ADHD is characterised by an under-developed frontal lobe, which is the part of the brain that is responsible for executive functions. things like planning, organising, prioritising, problem solving, time management. I love the post above about showering as I can really relate to that. It seems such a ridiculous thing, but I often do things in the “wrong order” in the shower, such as put conditioner in my hair before I shampoo it, wash myself twice inbetween washing / conditioning my hair as I’ve forgotten I’ve done it already.
Procrastination is one of my biggest issues. And prioritising tasks.
if can can really disabling on a daily basis.

I’m not exactly sure what executive function is, but I have adhd and these are some of the things I struggle with:
Taking (or not taking) my medication and then ten minutes later being completely unable to remember whether I did or not.
Thinking “I have a headache”, go over to cupboard and accidentally take a double dose of my medication instead of paracetamol.
Having to keep repeating what task I have set off to do under my breath or else I’ll just forget.
Piles of stuff everywhere, can’t find anything ever. Spend an entire day organising things but within days it’s back how it was.
Struggle very badly with following basic instructions. Recipes, maps/ directions, exam questions, assembly instructions etc. Stress goes through the roof.
If I really need to get something done I need lots of caffeine and sugar to get me through it.
Putting off things I need to do that I don’t want to do, sometimes for literally years. The dentist, opticians, smear tests, renewing public service card or passport, diabetes test etc to the point of seriously neglecting myself and occasionally ending up really ill.
I don’t lose my keys that much because I have a special hook for them.
Sometimes it feels like I’m waist deep in water trying to get through the day.
I have to promise myself something that motivates me in order to go and do something I’m dreading, like I’ll get it done then I’ll have a red bull or a can of Monster. Smoking used to get me through the day but I quit.
I never learned to drive. There’s no way I could drive. I can’t even remember left from right.
I’m smart but I dropped out of school early. Did my equivalent exams in a course for people with disabilities. I couldn’t hack school at all.
I used to be bad with laundry but I’m okay now since I have kids. Same with shopping etc.
The last thing I can think of is I often get lost in buildings I’ve been in multiple times 😣
Oh and once, I procrastinated for so long about returning library books that they threatened me with legal action.

I live alone with only the dog relying on me and therefore now my ADHD doesn't bother me nearly as much, as any inabilities to prioritise or order my workload doesn't impact on anyone else. Plus I have things set up as I want and need them, so I don't have to deal with anyone else's inability to structure or write things down!

Executive function is just the ability to plan a task, eg the ironing, completing the task and getting on with something else.

Sometimes untrained people can make passive comments to make others question themselves, such as diagnosing people as having ocd etc to make them feel like they are not goid enough.

Seems like you have executive function, so you have proved them wrong.

I've also been told this multiple times and I just ignore them.

Executive function is just the ability to plan a task, eg the ironing, completing the task and getting on with something else.

I'll do about ten different things between starting a task and forgetting about it but it hasn't actually negatively.Impacted my life.

Also there's no objective test for ADHD - everyone seems to struggle with different things.