I'll give a recent example.
I opened the microwave a couple of days ago (against my better judgement as I've found some monstrosities in there before where he's forgotten food) to find that the entire bottom of it had rusted. Not particularly happy about this as I thought it might have been mentioned to me at some point before the entire floor of it peeled off, but OK, he didn't get round to it and forgot as soon as the door was closed.
When he gets home, I say 'I see we need a new microwave'. 'Yeah, I've been meaning to get around to that'. 'OK, no problem, but the ones I'm looking at might be a bit bigger. I couldn't find the tape measure to check'. He disappeared off upstairs, I hear rummaging but 'Nope, can't find it'. We've got at least five as I've had to buy a new one every time I've replaced something. But none of them ever seem to stay in the kitchen drawer.
I roll my eyes and squeeze between the vacuum cleaner and the clothes airer with t shirts dumped on top of one another instead of being hung on the bars and miraculously spot one of the tape measures behind the vegetable rack (where half the steam cleaner tools are kept for some reason instead of being on the steam cleaner, along with one of the vacuum cleaner tools. The vegetables are scattered between the fridge, the windowsill and on top of the toaster for some reason).
He offers to do the measuring. Fine. I search for something to write on and a pen 'oh, that pen won't work, it fell apart'. I chuck it in the bin and get one from my bag because that's the only place things don't disappear from.
I've got working pen and paper 'OK, width, depth, height?' Silence. He's got his earbuds in and is vacantly staring into space. I put the tape measure in his hands, wait for him to realise and say 'Can you measure the width, depth and height, please? Of the microwave we've got, because we already know that fits in the space and I can compare it to the measurements of a new one'
I get random numbers that don't sound right, that would make it a column. Can I have width, depth, height in that order - and then headspace please? Width. How wide is it? That way <gestures> OK, we can call it length. How long is it? 14 what? Centimetres, please. <deciding that's easier than asking for it in mm>
From one side to the other, I'll hold the end as it's dangling. Now depth. How far does it go back? Can you include the bit that sticks out at the back? Height from the counter. Hold the end to the counter and measure up. Now the gap between the top of the microwave and the cupboard door, please. Because we need to know a new microwave will fit underneath when it's opened. Thank you.
Great. I go back online, look at the measurements of the shortlisted ones and eliminate the one that is too big. I look at the controls, one is push button and go, the other involves using programming weights and power levels. I eliminate the one that doesn't have an open door, put food in, close door, push start. I order and pay for it.
The following day, the new microwave arrives. He opens the box, fortunately not by tearing it open as usual, in the hallway. 'Where are we putting this?'. Umm, where the old microwave is. I go into the kitchen and the old microwave is still on the counter with a load of stuff in front of and on top of it. I take the stuff off, pass him his plate of half eaten food from breakfast and tell him to scrape the food into the bin before putting it into the sink. He looks surprised (as he usually just stick it into cold water in the sink complete with all of the food, blocking the sink regularly) but tips the food and the fork into the bin. The plate gets left on the hob on top of a saucepan that still contains the rest of the food he cooked whilst he retrieves the fork from the bin and puts it on top of the rice cooker instead of in the dishwasher or sink. I say nothing but pick the fork up and put it on the plate to deal with it later.
I switch off the socket and unplug the microwave, looping the cord through the handle so it doesn't trail as it's being moved. As I'm pulling it out, the giant outside box appears on the counter as he doesn't realise that I'm going to need him to take the old microwave out of the way first. And the box is so huge we'd need steps to be able to get the new one out from up there. I tell him to put the new one in its box on the floor and take the old one and put it by the door as I've got to wipe the counter and move another power lead out of the way.
As I turn round, he's put the old microwave on top of the new box. Sigh. I did three things in one sentence. My fault. Can you take the old microwave and put it by the door, please? OK, now let's take the new one out. The packaging can't go there, that's where we want to put the microwave, can you put the packaging back in the box, please? Hang on, we need to take the wire off the power lead before it's pushed back, pull it forward a little bit. Can you lift it, it's wobbling because the power lead is caught underneath. Thanks. Hold on, don't push it yet. Hold on. Yeah, I still need to plug it in. Can you pull it back a little, I need to switch it on at the socket. Thank you, hang on, my hand's still there. Still needs to come out a bit. Because it needs some space for it to vent.
Oh, it doesn't need to go into the garden, I've already booked the collection from the council and it'll need to be left outside on the wall tomorrow morning. It needs to go into the box. The outer box that the new one came in. It'll take up less space if it goes into the box now. The outer box. Don't worry, I'll get it if it's only in the recycling bin...I had to go down the street a bit to get it as it blew away from being put on top of the blue bin, I guess?...The old microwave goes into to it and we put it out tomorrow. Can you go and get it back out of the garden, please? I said it doesn't need to go out there. We will have space because the microwave is going into the box. I will put it out on the wall in the morning. Well, you would have heard if you didn't have your earbuds in. Now, I'm setting the clock. What's the time? Don't you have your phone on you? Check the box. 20.05. Great. beep beep...beeep. All set.
Cup of tea? Kettle's on....Can you check the time - the thermostat's saying it's 21.25? Oh, no worries you didn't actually look properly, did you, beep beep...beeep. Microwave's set correctly now.
Tea. No milk? But you went to the shop on your way home to get bread, two tins of cat food and milk. I texted you as well, I didn't assume you'd heard me. Well, you got the cat food, that's the most important thing.
I make a black tea, pick up the used teabag with a spoon along with the five other spoons, a butter knife and a little mound of used teabags he's left on a dish in front of the kettle, take two steps to the bin, put the used teabags in there, put the spoons, knife, plate and fork into the dishwasher in the correct compartments and sit down, wondering why life is such a hard slog at times.
To me, the process of replacing a microwave is obvious. For him, it's so complex and (unnecessarily) difficult that it becomes an exercise in scaffolding and patience.
Perfectly intelligent, articulate, kind and caring man. But the spatial reasoning and executive function is somewhat limited.