Can someone give me some examples of what struggling with executive functions looks like for an adult with adhd?

[Coldwetlettuce]

Not really an AIBU but would like replies! I understand executive functions to be stuff like driving, doing laundry, having a shower, making the bed. Am I right? People keep telling me I have ADHD and people with adhd struggle with executive functions (I find all this language around it annoying). Anyway, can anyone give examples of how an adult with ADHD would struggle with these ‘executive functions’?

It isn't day after day. It's in short batches. But this sort of task does require this type of focus. All of my colleagues work this way. If we can't keep up the pace, we don't get invited back to mark again for the next exam series. I remember a uni professor of mine complaining about the onerous nature of having to mark hundreds of exam scripts. It's the nature of the job.

“lived outside on the line so long it’s feral”
taking some of the washing in, getting distracted, leaving it out overnight (that doesn’t bother me actually), leaving it out the next day whilst fully dry and then it rains. I now can’t even do simple things for myself so have to get help to get something in or out of the machine. Long covid has knocked my coping mechanisms for six, has reduced my executive function drastically, it also means I can’t retain healthy levels of things like ferritin which doesn’t help, the amount of planning to get to health appointments and be sent from pillar to post is off the scale and I have to factor in contingency for things like vomiting. I could mostly cope before.

FFS 😮 Surely that's just being an overworked mum/wife?? 😩

I believe you. But I think it's a distinct skill. Like being able to manage difficult people. Rather than something people neuro typical can do.

Be fair she's not an overworked mum.If she's got six hours to spend on a hobby and ignore all her chores And don't bother to eat.

Thank you, this is an excellent description! Also sounds a lot like my house “cleaning” days!

Easy. He doesn't drive.

That makes sense. Driving takes high executive functioning.

He passed his test and is fine driving in the arse end of nowhere where he grew up, but moved away and decided that there were too many cars, too many people and too many idiots to be safe. To be fair, it's a lot easier on the eyes to be driving surrounded by green with just the odd Kamikaze sheep or cow to worry about.

And alarms and reminders set for everything which you then ignore or ‘snooze’ or think ‘ooh I’ll just do that’ then get distracted and forget

Thats exactly what I do but I don't have Adhd. I just think I'm easily distracted and need to get better organised. Low and behold it never changes! I have loads of emails I know which one I'm meant to prioritise but then something else comes in so I start looking into that and my brain can't seem to deal with leaving that as it plays on my mind. I think it's just bad time management. I also lose things all the time and always late. What makes something Adhd and not just part of your personality/ brain function as everyone does things differently? My brother had what I would say is the typical Adhd traits, he was a nightmare to live with, impulsive, couldn't sit still, couldn't sleep as brain couldn't switch off, did dangerous things as no sense of danger, got expelled from school, not caring of authority, always late, drug use due to dopamine hit. I think those kind of traits need a diagnosis as it ruins lives. I'm just interested as there are loads of these threads with people thinking they have Adhd with symptoms of disorganisation. I'm wondering if people are looking for excuses for not being organised, and I'm one of these disorganised people so no judgement! I just wonder does having the diagnosis actually change anything? It can't change how your brain works. Thank you, sorry if it comes across as rude it's not meant to.

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My adult daughter has ADHD but it doesn’t manifest the way you describe. She can do all those things you mention but sometimes struggles to prioritise or get timings right. Over the years though she has put coping methods in place to help. Executive function struggles is not the only way ADHD can manifest.

I have 80000 (yes eighty thousand) unread emails. Apparently that is not normal.

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I'll come back to this properly but here are some initial thoughts. - I'm an extreme case so I'd like to give some crazy examples of the really stupidly basic things I cannot do without stimulant meds (while having been a high achiever academically). It's baffling being able to win awards in complex subjects but not being able to wash your plate after a meal to the point that after 6 months there are no plates and you cannot wash the dirty ones and have to call your parents to do it for you while they shout at you and you cry and repeat over and over again that you don't know why you can't do this but you just can't. I see other people with ADHD take a long time to get round to it but then have this burst of functionality. That burst never comes for me without meds. I just start off in a nice tidy house because my parents have tidied it for me then over and over again it descends into total squalor. Even if I drop something on the floor like a piece of food I won't be able to pick it up unmedicated. I went through a phase of throwing everything I had effortwise at overcoming this problem (before diagnosis) and I could spend hours staring at the food on the floor, fighting with my brain, reasoning with it that this wasn't difficult and if I could win prizes in x, y and z, I could pick up a tomato I'd dropped on the floor and yet after hours of reasoning it still was on the floor and I'd eventually give up and go to bed. The tomato would rot and go mouldy and I still couldn't pick it up. Still invested hours standing near it willing myself to just bend over and pick it up but always walked away after hours of not succeeding. Baffling thing was first time I tried meds these problems just disappeared. I could just pick things up I dropped on the floor and it felt effortless. Didn't need an intervention from my despairing parents who couldn't understand what was wrong and couldn't understand why I wasn't doing these basic things when I couldn't be accused of laziness with my academic record. ADHD is not a minor issue for some of us. It's debilitating. If I'd had kids they would have been removed from my care. Thank god I didn't as people who knew I was struggling would tell me I'd be able to do it when I had to. I would not have been able to do it under any circumstances except with stimulant medication which just magically solves the problem. Problem is, I can't take stimulant meds any more due to another health condition so I would be back to square one if i hadn't met a wonderful man who does these things for me and believes me when I say I can't do them. He lived with someone else with a very similar profile before me and I think he realised that she was an extreme case. Highly successful at work but couldn't wash dishes, pick clothes up of the floor or clean or tidy. She was so distressed I think he knew eventually that it was real.

Well, I agree, but when I had to explain to my team leader the way I couldn't hold the beginning of an essay in my head until the end, I could tell she thought I wasn't capable of the work. And I absolutely am. It was just that I have to work many times harder than an average examiner. But the meds reset me to the NT level. The contrast is so great it makes work a pleasure.

ADHD crosses all boundaries. Professional, academic, age, gender, ethnicity.

Sorry I posted this yesterday then got very busy so haven’t had a chance to read through all the replies but thanks to those who’ve given good examples. I think I’ve maybe misunderstood what executive functions are - eg. they’re not driving and showering! Got me thinking though - surely someone with ADHD would really struggle to complete a long drive cos it involves extreme concentration on a task most people find quite boring? I tend to struggle a lot with tasks I find boring - I get really restless etc but with driving I don’t - up to maybe a maximum of 3 hrs. I wonder if that’s cos I quite enjoy it if I have a good podcast to listen to

It can be things like knowing you need to do something but just not being able to get started, forgetting what you were doing halfway through, losing track of time or feeling overwhelmed by basic tasks. If you’re looking into whether ADHD might explain some of this, you could have a look at ADHD Certify too. They have some useful information and offer online services if you want to explore it further.

I’m sorry - that sounds really tough. And yes, really extreme. I’m not a doctor but staring at a tomato on the floor for hours being unable to pick it up sounds more like some kind or OCD. Why would your brain stop you from picking it up? Was it an ‘ah I’ll do it later’ type thing everytime you saw it? In that situation I’d have thought you wouldn’t want to be anywhere near the tomato- out of sight and out of mind and all that

It's absolutely the podcast and in my case the audiobook. And my thoughts. Completing a task that's mostly muscle memory while my brain goes as fast as the car is actually grand.

Thank you, I definitely do all of these things. I very rarely read books unless they are extremely gripping or interesting from the start because I cannot concentrate. I end up reading each sentence 5 or 6 times because each time I realise I’ve read the words but haven’t taken them in or understood them cos my mind was somewhere else. It takes forever to get through one page and becomes tedious so it’s just not worth it! Anyone whose diagnosed adhd do this too?

I'm AuDHD.

Paralysis with tasks - I physically cannot do something I need to do, unless motivated by something do it.

Hyperfocus - I won't eat, sleep, keep track of time or even realise I'm in pain when I'm in hyperfocus mode.

Either under or overstimulated - it's very draining and uncomfortable to be always too bored, or too overwhelmed.

Deadline driven - hugely motivated by deadlines, it causes a lot of needless stress to leave things until last minute.

Where did I put that? - spending needless energy finding something I just put down.

I can't focus on one job, and even within each job, it's chaos. For example, if I'm painting a room, I'll be sorting paperwork and washing up, then continue to paint the room - but not where I stopped, in a different area of the room.

This is me, too.

Honestly I think even non ADHD people do this because our attention spans have changed since smartphones. So I wouldn't take that in itself to be a sign

I made an effort to re-train my AuDHD brain and now get through loads of books. Reading is really helpful for ADHD brains.