Can someone give me some examples of what struggling with executive functions looks like for an adult with adhd?

[Coldwetlettuce]

Not really an AIBU but would like replies! I understand executive functions to be stuff like driving, doing laundry, having a shower, making the bed. Am I right? People keep telling me I have ADHD and people with adhd struggle with executive functions (I find all this language around it annoying). Anyway, can anyone give examples of how an adult with ADHD would struggle with these ‘executive functions’?

Reading some of the more extreme examples on this thread, I don't understand how you can struggle as badly e.g. microwave explanation, and still be able to drive? Driving takes loads of cognitive functioning with multiple quick decisions and focus required

A close adult relative of mine has ADHD (as does my son but he's 13). For my relative, he is persistently late despite putting a lot of time into planning; constantly racking up parking tickets because he's late and parks in a panic and then forgets to pay them; has an overcrowded and messy home because he constantly purchases things (especially things related to helping get more organised) but is unable to execute and maintain any kind of organisational system for things so his home is a pigsty despite his frequent efforts to tidy and sort things out; constantly losing things - important things, like passports - because he cannot hold tasks in his mind for very long. So he'll pick something up (e.g. passport) with a task in mind, then get distracted by task b, c, d etc and the passport has been put down somewhere along the way. Constantly apologising to others for forgetting tasks, promises, agreements etc. He works incredibly long hours compensating for his disorganisation. And he feels guilty and embarrassed about it all. It's very disabling.

I think OP just meant that it is quite a mouthful of a word to describe the phenomenon?!

DH has ADHD; opens his post about 3 times a year

Only gets around to his ironing every few weeks so it all piles up on our bed

He tends to get behind on accounts for his business

Doesn't cancel subscriptions etc that he doesn't use

What's bizarre about that? If I stop someone outside right now and ask them what 'executive function' is there is every chance they won't know what I'm talking about.

Its weird because I was diagnosed as a child in the 80s but I cant relate to any of the descriptions that people give on eg this thread

So do people on this thread with ADHD drive? And how do you manage that if you can't manage ordinary tasks due to a lack of focus?

Im like that but wouldnt say I had ADHD. Perhaps I should jump on the ADHD bandwagon.

I'm an examiner for one of the biggest exam boards. I know my subject exceptionally well. Loads of experience. I also have ADHD.

Without medication, I struggle to focus long enough to mark any more than 1 or 2 exam papers. I can't retain what I read at the beginning of the essay all the way to the end, let alone remember the question title. I have to go backwards and forwards between the writing and the mark scheme. I make notes because without them I forget.

With medication, I can work for 4 hours with only toilet breaks. I retain the information from the essays, retain the mark scheme, don't have to constantly switch between the essay and the mark scheme because I just remember it. I work faster and harder for a much longer period of time.

Most importantly, with medication, the work only takes about 1/4 of the energy.

Without medication I can function but I'm slow, stressed and get headaches with the effort required to try to force concentration.

With medication, I function like neurotypical people. It's SO easy in comparison.

NEVER underestimate how hard an unmedicated person has to work to try to keep up with NT. I wish I'd had meds when I was a child.

Which bandwagon?

That’s interesting. How would you describe your ADHD?

@ClawsandEffect I don't think neuro typical people do just focus for four hours on paperwork. I do admin and everyone focuses for an hour or two, but there is a lot of chatting once people start having difficulties concentrating. Certainly I know nobody who could focus for four hours day after day on a paper work task.

DP is ADHD diagnosed since childhood and he’s very good with cleaning etc but… to a fault. It needs to be done right there and then every single time because it was the way he figured it out for himself, but he’s so militant about it that sometimes it gets a bit inflexible. No one will die if a cup is by the sink for a couple hours.

On the other hand, I’m essentially responsible for booking all big shopping, home related appointments and family events (he has them in his calendar which he tries to check, but usually I’ll get the cards, presents etc). He can do the shopping technically, but he’ll end up coming back with 75% more random stuff we don’t need.

He’s had to adjust food wastage since moving in together. I hate it wasting food. He’ll open 6 different things but never finish anything.

I can sustain focus for long periods and my line of work requires me to sustain tunnel vision for multiple hours. I'm not scatty and am never late, I never forget an appointment or deadline.
I do struggle with interrupting even though I try and do it very quickly and quietly, almost while the person is catching their breath between sentences. Its because i know by the time they finish talking the thought will have gone.
Very often everything will be collapsing around me but it's still not enough to galvanise me - I will sit there doing repetitive things (smoking, playing one of those stupid phones games, etc) while knowing its becoming very, very urgent to take action, and my stress levels are rocketing but im still frozen in place with a blank mind.
When im on, Im on and a mile a minute. I have frequent energy crashes throughout the day especially after eating. I drink at least 10 espressos a day, its purely psychological though as they dont seem to have any effect on me.
It can take me a long time to leave the house in the morning - my alarm goes 3 hours before I actually have to leave.
I havent yet mastered driving (somebody asked about driving).
I find it difficult to eg have a serious conversation while walking.

This describes it perfectly for me too, I do everything ‘backwards’ everything will eventually get done but the order is off as I get distracted by everything in the process. Finding me washing pots with half a wash load folded and half the living room hoovered isn’t a rarity. On occasion the hoovers even left going because I was only meant to be putting a stray sock in the wash basket. It’s all very exhausting tbh people close to me find me very chaotic but entertaining to watch when I’m just doing life things.

i would describe it as your brain not being able to keep up with background tasks. So for example focusing on posting this comment made me forget about my potato’s that were boiling until my husband said something. I start things, get distracted and forget about them and at the end of the day have a lot of half done things around the house.

I have a good job and coping mechanisms that I have put in place without even realizing over the years but I can’t even describe how mentally draining that is. I tried medication for the first time last month and I am still in amazement at the difference. It’s like the constant static in my head is gone and my brain is tuned into the right channel finally (unless I’m on my period then it doesn’t work at all).

but normal isn't one thing is it? I just think, and I don't mean to declare whether other people have it or not, but that sometimes people are too quick to declare someone has ADHD.

YES,, I put my phone down to search for my house key and then it took me and the kids 10 minutes to find my phone but I DID remember to put my key back on the keyrings I took it from two weeks ago when I used my key as a trolley coin cos I forgot the bring any change. but we DID get out the house, albeit without the letter I've been trying to post for a week, we collected the stuff I needed to collect, and we all got fed. and yes most of that is a daily occurrence. BUT life is busy, I have 3 kids, the new game this week is guess the word Mommy means when she says the wrong one, does it HAVE to mean there's something wrong with me that needs fixing as opposed to just being distracted or crap at adulting?

I'd argue it perfectly normal to have to stand in the kitchen with the beans etc on the stove so I don't get distracted and burn them, that I'm banned from using the grill cos I broke two cookers and that I'm only allowed in the garage when I have a free 2 hours!

ah sorry @Willreturnforsure2 I thought you meant "that behaviour is abnormal" not "normal doesn't exist"

Time Management - things are either now or not now.
Working memory.
Switching tasks / transitioning / change.
Organising and Planning.
Attention control - it's not necessarily an inability to pay attention, it's where you direct the attention.
Inhibition and Impulses - this has got me into a lot of trouble!

Everyone struggles with the above to some extent, but with ADHD it's more severe, frequent and hard to control.

It's not a lack of focus, it's an inability to direct your focus. People with ADHD tend to hyper focus on certain things that interest them. I love driving so I hyper focus on it.

Driving is weird, because it's a lot of micro-details that need paying attention to. ADHD brains can be really good at this. Pattern recognition, making instinctive choices etc. Driving is almost what I'm built for. I used to be an operating theatre nurse and not knowing what could happen in a day made me thrive in that role. Add a 'right-now' emergency coming up from A&E - no sweat.

Its the day to day mundane stuff that trips me up. Getting washing out of the machine before it needs rewashing is a problem. If I get it outside will I remember to get it in before it goes dark. It never gets sorted and put away. I live out of baskets of clean clothes, that have been washed twice (sometimes thrice and I curse the extra expense) and have lived outside on the line for so long it's half feral.

With ADHD it's much more frequent, severe and harder to control. It's also something that presents itself from childhood, so before loads of responsibilities.

I can’t drive. But everyone is wired differently even if the common issue for all of us is a lack of dopamine. My Ds exhibits more severe ADHD behaviours than me in a lot of ways. But she’s a fairly decent driver.