To think fat women look better in bikinis than one pieces

[Justaquestionplease]

Before anyone jumps on me, of course people can wear what they want and feel most comfortable in...

But ive just returned from holiday and I did think whilst lying on the beach and round the pool how much better larger women look in bikini rather than one piece costumes. I think maybe it's just a confidence thing and those who exude confidence rather than self consciousness look better overall.

But regardless of that, I just think visually they actually look better...not that anyone owes attractiveness to others obviously

I agree! Me too, just back from hols and I noticed this woman looking friggin fab in her pink bikini, she was young’ish, Caribbean but I’m guessing a size 18+. She held herself beautifully and had great legs which helped. To those saying what are you doing looking at people, don’t we all when we’re relaxed by the pool?!? Hope you had a great time!

Well, yes and no. I was reading about the Great Male Renunciation the other day (worth a google)!

Well it's not very reassuring for people already self conscious about their weight and not very confident on a beach to know that people like you and OP are watching them and criticising what they are wearing is it?

I’ve been a forever bikini wearer and I’m a good size 14, until a mastectomy and tummy tissue transplant reconstruction this year. Now I’m left with one normal and one oversized boob (temporary I hope) and a huge scar hip to hip. I’ve been shortened at the front, am now shaped like SpongeBob and can’t get my scars in the sun so swimsuit bound I am, it is what it is but feel like a taut sausage in a swimsuit.. My advice fgs lovely ladies whatever your age, love who you are, live life, just wear a bikini and wear it well.

I don't judge anyone sunbathing topless even if quite fat.
I do notice how common inverted nippes are.

Ah ok. Apologies for that.

YANBU, OP. I’m a larger lady and I like to wear a swim dress. I know what you mean about one pieces vs bikinis. It depends on the areas we feel most comfortable I suppose. I have decent legs but prefer to cover my larger stomach as my weight tends to land in my middle. I’d probably opt for a tankini if I were to consider a two piece. For other larger women it may their lower half for example, while they may be slimmer in the middle and up top. Not a problematic observation at all - the world would be boring if we didn’t stay curious about it, ourselves, and each other 💖

Everybody with eyes is watching and noticing everybody else though. It’s just life.

I thought that most people were just so preoccupied with themselves and their own concerns that they didn't take much notice of other people? Certainly that 's what I've been told in CBT : don't worry about other people because they are too busy thinking about themselves to be bothered about what you are doing.

I am a fat woman. NO NO NO! Fat women definitely do NOT look better in a bikini! Nicely rounded women can look absolutely gorgeous in a bikini, depending on where they are rounded. Fat women - NO.

I saw a lot of women of all shapes and sizes in swimsuits on holiday, I think it’s quite trendy at the moment and they looked fab - very classy!

This is actually quite annoying, because I haven't once said it's men's fault, nor even implied it, so I don't know why you're saying that, and putting words in my mouth. What I've said is that society views men's and women's bodies differently.

Men see their bodies as something to act in, while women see their bodies as ornamental, because that's the social messaging.

I said nothing about it being men's fault, because I don't think this particular issue is.

People notice. They may not care, or think about it for longer than a few seconds, but they do notice and judge. And if the person they're looking at has something unusual about them, they may discuss it if they're bored. That's why, despite knowing I would look great in bikini bottoms, I wear board shorts when swimming in places where people may know me – I don't want people noticing scars I have, and gossiping.

How depressing and upsetting. So much for CBT then.

It could be religious, or general modesty, a propensity to burning, or like me, having visible scars that I don't like being either noticed, or exposed to the sun. As this thread illustrates, people do notice and talk about others' bodies, and I'd rather my scars were private, just because they're personal.

Being confident and being almost naked are not synonymous. One can be confident about the attractiveness of their body without wanting to expose it to all and sundry. And exposing your body and being confident, equally doesn't make a person more (sexually) attractive. I think this association has come about because it's such an easy thing to do (just strip off!), but I don't think it's accurate.

I think what most people mean when they say 'oh, people don't notice' is that they don't care, especially when it's a stranger. They'll notice, and then usually go on with their day and forget about it because they have other things to think about.

But yes, I always thought the 'no one even notices' line was so unhelpful, because all you need to do is spend five minutes in public to know it's not true, even off the back of you noticing and assessing people. I mean, there's even a hobby called people watching! It's more that most people don't care, and forget you once you leave their line of sight,

When I'm at the beach I'm there to have fun and don't give a rat's a out what l'd look best in to any onlookers judging. Also I don't want to spend ages putting on sunscreen or get skin cancer so it's a rash suit and board shorts. Nothing whatsoever to do with being self conscious.

You think that the women wearing one-piece suits haven’t looked in a mirror? Know what they look like in bra and pants/bikinis and made a decision? Talk about patronising!

You’d probably assume I’d look better in a bikini too but I haven’t worn one for years because I have a lot of excess skin on my abdomen. It’s to the point that I have an apron that covers my bikini area and visibly hangs below the leg line of underwear/bikini bottoms. What’s above the waistline is extremely wrinkly and stretch marked.

I don’t judge other women’s bodies (and I don’t presume to think that random strangers are obsessing over my body either), but the last thing I want to see all day on holiday is my own loose belly skin swinging around and making a clapping sound (yes, really) when I’m dashing to the bar. Or pooling to the sides while I’m sunbathing….

So forgive me if I think I look better wearing a one piece where the skin can be hoiked up and secured behind a tummy control panel

This is a circular argument, we are back to where we started where I pointed out that women are the peacocks of the human race, they have adorned themselves since time began, we also see it in isolated tribes, it is not society, it has nothing to do with society, if it was society we wouldn’t see it globally and in long lost tribes

but for men it is society, we see men becoming gym buff, hair transplants, Botox, teeth done, removing body hair, sure older men don’t do it, but for younger generations, yes, societal expectations are there.

I think everyone looks better in a one piece to be honest. They generally just look more stylish but I’m a ‘more is more’ kinda person when it comes to clothing.

The way that women are seen as passive objects, there to be primarily ornamental, while men are active subjects, there to act, is misogynistic. And there are undeniably lower standards for how men are expected to present themselves, with less priority put on attractiveness than is put onto women.

Regardless, I wasn't blaming men, so I don't know where you're getting that from.

Ok, I get that’s your opinion, but I simply don’t know anyone nor have I met anyone who views women as purely passive objects and I’m sorry that’s your experience,

I didn't say that either. You keep putting words in my mouth, rather than just reading what I've actually said. At no point did I say that women are viewed as purely passive objects.

I said that within society, women are primarily (not only) expected to be ornamental, especially in comparison to men - to groom themselves, to be attractive or well-presented, to 'smile, love', and so on, while men have far fewer expectations placed upon them in regards to appearance.

(Although I can't believe you don't know of men who treat women as objects there to be acted upon, rather than people in their own right. That's literally what misogyny is.)

I once saw an extremely overweight man at a swimming pool with his little girl. He was wearing long swimming shorts with a t-shirt on top. Not only was he probably much more comfortable but he was respectful to everyone else.

A bikini wouldn’t look good on me! OP!

i have still have my baby pouch so I have done everyone a favour and wore a one piece! Got a brown,navy and olive one from next it got really nice (small boobs) and ruching on the tummy’s. The straps were secure too! Each to their own.