To find the use of the word ‘fiancé’ irritating?

[Sparklesbigtoe]

Do people still use the word fiancé to describe the person they’re engaged to on a regular basis (eg. every time they mention them to someone who doesn’t know their name they’ll say fiancé rather than partner or bf/gf)? Or is this becoming kind of outdated? There’s a woman at work who keeps saying ‘my fiancé and I this, my fiancé and I that, yesterday I said to my fiancé blah, blah’. It’s really starting to grate on me because she could easily say his name then start referring to him by it, just like everyone else does. It also struck me that other people I know who’ve been engaged recently carried on saying ‘partner’, or they might say fiancé once or twice but generally they use partner. I’m sure I’m BU to find it annoying but it feels like they’re trying to boast that someone’s asked them to marry them everytime I hear it!

"Its just too much information. Its “look at me, I’m nearly married, don’t you know!” No one cares."

"It doesn’t mean I am attributing dubious motives to someone who uses the word."

...I think you might be.

Maybe. It does seem to go hand in hand with a certain keenness to convey to people that you are about to get married.

Again, this is anecdata, and subjective. But I can’t help noticing it.

Well, we know what his intentions were then!

I hope you're equally as disgusted by the word 'pregnant' then, with its keenness to convey that the person is about to have a baby. It's so gauche to be happy and excited about such things.

I don't think that most people use fiancé for any reason other than 'oh, that's what he is now', but even if it were the case, god forbid they might be excited that they're getting married.

I do think some women like to use the term in that they are basking in the atmosphere of their upcoming nuptials. And good for them.

For them and many others it is not pretentious or cringeworthy and has no negative connotations to it at all. Why should it? In an ideal world you will only be a fiancée once. Enjoy it!

They are different! A subtle difference but that's the beauty of having lots of words.

I’m married but never ran around declining me and Fiancé were doing x , y, z. Thud reeks of desperation. Yes , you are getting married- we know ! Oh I cooked dinner for my fiancé! It’s utterly vomit inducing !!!!! Me and my fiancé went look at new floors for our renovation….. yes, we’re doing a Reno 🤣

They are affianced. Aka engaged. It’s a factual state. YABVU.

You're being a wee bit oversensitive. She knows you haven't met him and she's explaining her relationship to him..It's not that bad surely.Unless you just don't like the woman and every little thing she does is annoying.

You said it was teenage to use a word like fiancé as it was ‘a klaxon’ for marital status apparently. That seems…unusual for teens. Do you feel the same about husband?

YABVU

Fiancé is the word used to describe the man you are engaged to be married to. How else would you refer to him?

Should I not refer to my brother as my brother or my daughter as my daughter?

I'm another one who can't stand the term partner to donate a romantic relationship. I'm in the US and it's used a lot less here. It always sounds like a business arrangement to me.

I used to have a boyfriend. He became my fiancé when we decided to get married. When we did get married he became my husband. If I was mentioning him to someone who didn't know him I would say "my boyfriend", "my fiancé", or "my husband". To refer to him as anything else would have been silly and pointless.

If you don't like the word fiancé, that's definitely a you problem.

Fiancé doesn't bother me at all but I really really hate "hubby".

Fiancé entered English usage around 1826, though affiance and fiancé appeared briefly in the 14th century to mean to pledge/betroth. Fiancé itself became popular before WW1 (not by, before).
Hardly recent.

Yes, they use that term, because it’s the standard term to use. Can’t imagine why it would irritate you though.🤷‍♀️

It's always quite amusing when an OP starts a thread then pisses off never to be seen again. But the thread results in a Bun Fight, especially when it's over something as inane as the use of the term Fiancé

I didn't use it 35 years ago
DD doesn't like using it now.
Refer to boyfriend and people can easily see the ring and know what's going on.

Neither of us have ever had partners either. Before I was married I had a boyfriend. DD has a boyfriend. Once married, a husband.

YES to both.. Fiancé and all the DH,DD,DS, ect. why can't the poster type my daughter, My son, my husband why DD DEAR daughter DS DEAR son, DH DEAR husband ??? I know there's more to life Im asking why?

Totally different things. Fiancé is a totally normal word that’s been use in this country since the mid 19th century DH etc is a site convention.

I've never liked the word. Sounds pretentious. You're hugely overreacting.

I always find the word 'partner' a bit awkward - I'm old enough to remember when it was really only a term that was used for business use - but times change.

In Fife, the favoured term for a romantic partner who lived with you but wasn't your used to be was "bidie-in". It could be a bit pejorative, mind you. (I'm talking about the last century.)

It used to be that the term fiancé was quite significant (although I accept what others have said about it being a newer term than 'betrothed', etc).

Certainly until the 1950s, it was possible for someone to be sued for breach of promise if they broke off an engagement.

Have just Googled. Apparently it was abolished in England and Wales in 1970 and 1984 in Scotland. Crumbs.

It's just technically correct and why shouldn't she (and enjoy being engaged, it's only a season)? I think partner is quite naff tbh and usually means not married. I used it at a job interview when I was moving cities and they asked why, to hide the fact I was engaged as I got the feeling at a previous interview that the department head had been put off me once she heard I was getting married (she only heard it as it was a whole day group teacher interview and another interviewee asked me about my wedding when we were all having lunch).

on the one hand… It’s a bit weird OP to be bothered by this. Who cares what other people say?

On the other… I can’t remember if I used this term when I was engaged though… probably not. It does sound a bit cringy.

I think it’s more that no one at work can keep up with their co workers partners names, kids names, best friends names etc.
Easier to talk using relationship terms, so colleagues understand what the fuck you are on about,

Missed out word "spouse" - "but wasn't your spouse".

This is the importance of language and
etymology. To ‘bide’ - I looked it up. Any connection to ‘biding ones time?