Would you be upset if a new hire at work said this to the director? The director is my DH.

[BleefinbackBlean]

‘I’ve never worked with someone I have a crush on before’

🙄

if was said when accepting the job role via Teams.

How does the Cake Friday reference make her remark ok?

What the actual fuck does “Cake Friday” have to do with declaring a “crush” on a future employer? I say, absolutely nothing. It is entirely inappropriate.
I buy all my staff lunch on a Friday….if they declared a “crush” on me because of it? I’d rethink their employment. No time for that shite.

It seems like a weird response to the cake thing. I am clearly missing something.

He didn"t encourage it though, he heard it and laughed at it, that is genuine humour and human bonding, you don"t laugh in a genuine way at people"s jokes if you don"t like and respect them.

Depends on context, employment law might have a rethink about your suitability as an employer if you went off the deep end about a throw away comment meant as a joke.

It doesn"t matter, they have decided she is a good fit for the team, that means her remark was fine.

That is unhinged my god

I agree it was a joke. Bit of a daft joke to make to people you don’t know well. But for all you know she’s now cringing at what she said. She was probably nervous in the teams call. If I worked with her I’d forget it.

Why did your dh feel the need to tell you is more of a question. Does he like unsettling you?

It’s not very funny, no, but it is a joke. Very different to your initial post. The context of the comment makes a huge difference.

I mean, married men having affairs with younger colleagues is just so rare, so unheard of, so unusual isn’t it! 🤣

If two people are laughing it is pretty funny, I have watched professional comedians on TV for 30 minutes and never cracked even a half smile, she is doing well so far and not even in post yet.

As another staff member, I'd be pretty horrified the director in question went ahead and hired someone who says such things?! I guess they could hardly retract the job if she just blurted that out as soon as the offer was set in stone.

But as the wife of the director, I suppose I could be concerned she'd try and get off with him? But only if he couldn't be trusted which would mean we shouldn't be together anyway.

not upset but certainly wary.

Well that’s a monumental drip feed isn’t it! Ffs!

Turns it from unprompted declaration of fancying someone (baaaaaad) into a rather poor joke (cringe but not an issue).

I refuse to believe an adult would use the term “crush”.

Yes they have decided she is theype of person they want.. Which says a lot about OP's H and his co director and the lack of professionalism in their organisation.

My feeling is that no wonder there is such a level of inappropriate behaviour between colleagues, and the provenance of office affairs etc if companies like OP's H find it acceptable for a new recruit to tell her new boss she has a crush on him. If that's what sets the tone for their working relationship and that's the starting point between a manager and his junior employee then goodness knows how familiar their relationship will be once she actually starts her job there.
Her remark out of order but what it says about OP 's H and his fellow director and the company is really telling.

I mean, the drip feed changes things, surely?

But what I want to know, is how do you know the facts of the conversation? Did he tell you about it over dinner and say, 'and then me and co-director both laughed?'

This is all pretty weird.

Probably not because jokes are all about context and remuneration is generally considered a serious matter, while cake is not.

ETA: I still think it was a bit inappropriate, but not as bad as it sounded from the initial post. Awkward though!

Some of these replies are hilarious. Colleagues in a workplace are allowed to joke. They’re allowed to make silly remarks, claim to love each other, offer marriage etc in exchange for cake (or biscuits). Nobody should be treated differently if they don’t want to be involved in such daftness, but people who use daftness to get through a tough day are allowed to do so.

It just means they are adults and they can have a laugh, have you never eavesdropped on a works do in a pub, some of the rubbish people talk when half drunk, it means they like each other and get on, we don"t know what the company he runs even does, they might be sales or something where you need a personality?

Exactly, the level of Thought and Speech Policing that people think is appropriate nowadays is absolutely ridiculous, no wonder there is a backlash against all this nonsense. I found the comments that she is undermining respect for women in the workplace extremely ridiculous.

Totally inappropriate. A record should be kept by hr and and a close eye kept on her. She sounds nuts and if she is that blatant I guess she might try and make a move further down the line and when she is rebuffed accuse him of inappropriate behaviour. Our company would have called her out as soon as the comment was made

Yes people talk rubbish. But there are supposed to be boundaries between senior and junior colleagues for very sensible reasons which serve to protect employees at all levels.

This woman wasn't drunk - i assume she wasn't anyway. I assume this conversation wasn't them sat in the pub together. She told her new boss she has a crush on him so she brought a level of sexual innuendo into a job recruitment interview. In what type of organisation is that an acceptable level of conversation? It would have to be a pretty free and easy organisation that has that as part of it's normal recruitment. It's also very sad that a woman feels she has to tell her new boss she finds him attractive to get the job. And sad that you equate telling a man she finds him.atteactive with having a personality.

If I told a female director at my company that I had a crush on her, my head would be removed from my neck.

I’ve done more interviews than I can count and never has anything like this been said. And cake has featured numerous times.
totally inappropriate, even as a joke. I wonder if she is looking back on it and cringing. I would be.