AIBU to blank another parent who witters on?

[BoomBoomsCousin]

I Am Being UNKIND but AIBU (and what can I do about this)?

My DD has started horse riding. She's currently having a lesson once a week with one other kid. I take her and sit to watch. The other kid's mother also stays to watch and she is SO BORING and won't shut up.

I have heard 4 times now about how tedious it is to fill in all the forms for her DS's school sport (we're in the US and school sport here is a bit crazy). Last time she spent 12 minutes (I was clock watching) explaining how she went to bed to late. It involved her telling me about four separate loads of laundry, though it turns out she actually stayed up watching TV. I smile and nod and try to get focus on my DD or read the book I bring each week. Sometimes she gets the hint and goes on her phone, but after a few minutes she'll tut or sigh and start telling me about some admin problem she's trying to solve. I cannot bear it.

She seems like a nice woman, but I just don't can't stand her. AIBU to blank her a bit when she goes does this? What alternative is there that doesn't leave me dreading taking my DD to her lesson?

Maybe start wearing some obvious headphones?

Another for headphones. Nod hello then withdraw. Don’t blank as that’s mean!

I’d respond ‘sorry I want to read my book today’ when she starts to talk to you. Id repeat if necessary. Then I would read my book and ignore her speaking if I needed to. If she looked for interaction from me ‘sorry, as I told you I’m reading my book’
Or if you want to watch your DD, ‘I can’t talk now as I want to concentrate on daughter. Then same as above.
I think it can be done clearly and firmly rather than rudely.

Not really seeing how wearing headphones isn't blanking?

But I couldn't wear headphones as I'm actually trying to listen to the instructor when my DD is getting instruction and my hearing is bad enough as it is!

Perhaps she is quite isolated and this is her only time per week to speak to a grown up?

Either be polite or go sit in your car or put headphones on.

It's probably going to come down to this ad nauseam. I've tried it a few times but it hasn't stopped her yet.

Try interrupting and talking over her? I find people who witter on don't like it when wittered upon.

Then just tell her that, surely?

I have!

I think it is a bit unkind tbh. I get that you want to focus on your DD. Can you not watch her and have a conversation with this woman at the same time? Surely its an hours lesson. She may be lonely and have limited and non existent interaction with others. No one is entitled to your time and attention, but I think the world would be a nicer place if we didnt view people that want to interact with us and strike up some kind of real life connection as a nuisance.

You'll have to keep telling her then.

Then repeat as necessary. ‘I’m going to have to ask you not to talk, Brenda — I’m trying to hear what the instructor is saying to DD’.

Possibly because you say it but then eventually give in and listen to her. You are teaching her to ignore what you say. Just keep going.
If she really is so completely rude to keep trying relentlessly time and again session after session you could move on to the pointed question technique: ‘Ive explained to you several times that I want to read my book, why are you still trying to engage me in conversation? / why are you ignoring this? / why don’t you understand this?’

Nod a bit, and whenever the instructor speaks say, 'hang on what did she say?' Try to get the other mum interested in the lesson but if you can't, just keep politely interrupting her.

OP I used to do this to a work colleague in my mid20s. I know because one day she told me she just likes to sit in silence and asked if we could try it.
It worked in after that occasion, I stopped chatting/ talking at her - mostly to make sure she never asked me to be silent with her again!

I would bring some sort of task to do and let her know that,eg "This hour is a great time for me to catch up on emails/read work papers etc so that's what I'll be doing each week" then crack on with it. I agree it's a bit intense if it's just the two of you and she's a bore - I had someone similar at DS's football but there were quite a few other parents there too so it diluted her somewhat.

I do this. But DD will get instruction for probably 10 mins of an hour's lesson. It doesn't stop her wittering for the other 55 minutes! (And I can't tell which 10 minutes out of the hour it will be, so I can't wear headphones for any of it as I won't know when the instruction starts if I can't hear it).

Can you take your laptop and say you are catching up on admin? Then use the hour to catch up on emails, life shit, or watch a video on mute.

Say at the start of the lesson that you really want to hear what the instructor says today so you'll need to listen out for that. Then shush her when it starts.

Some other good suggestions here. I dislike the #BeKind approach because the people who it's recommended for are often not at all the vulnerable lonely types imagined. Does she ever ask you questions about your life?

I get that the nod and smile may be encouraging her, which is why I'm posting about stepping it up by blanking her. I can't see how your suggested is response is better than blanking as a first attempt, though.

Try starting a conversation about something you would like to talk about?

But I couldn't wear headphones as I'm actually trying to listen to the instructor when my DD is getting instruction and my hearing is bad enough as it is

You just tell her that.

I take a book and (try to) read, is that different?

Rarely get a signal at the stable though (hence the book)..

I tried initially and could not find common ground.

Edited to add: I also don't really want to spend the whole time chatting to her. I like zoning out a bit and I really want to focus on my DD when she's being instructed.

It is blanking... just politely and in a socially acceptable manner 😃