AIBU to blank another parent who witters on?

[BoomBoomsCousin]

I Am Being UNKIND but AIBU (and what can I do about this)?

My DD has started horse riding. She's currently having a lesson once a week with one other kid. I take her and sit to watch. The other kid's mother also stays to watch and she is SO BORING and won't shut up.

I have heard 4 times now about how tedious it is to fill in all the forms for her DS's school sport (we're in the US and school sport here is a bit crazy). Last time she spent 12 minutes (I was clock watching) explaining how she went to bed to late. It involved her telling me about four separate loads of laundry, though it turns out she actually stayed up watching TV. I smile and nod and try to get focus on my DD or read the book I bring each week. Sometimes she gets the hint and goes on her phone, but after a few minutes she'll tut or sigh and start telling me about some admin problem she's trying to solve. I cannot bear it.

She seems like a nice woman, but I just don't can't stand her. AIBU to blank her a bit when she goes does this? What alternative is there that doesn't leave me dreading taking my DD to her lesson?

I mean, yeah. I’m always happy to throw money at a solution to something that’s irritating me. 🤷‍♀️

Be nasty to the girl’s mum then, if that’s what you’re determined to do. But it will be perceived as nasty. Americans don’t do our brand of “bluntness” and most of the suggestions here would not be socially acceptable to them. Your own unpleasant responses and the constant “dull as fuck,” etc. don’t bode well for being tactful with this woman.

I have found that Americans have different social norms from Brits, but on the whole are more direct. I'm not determined to be nasty to her, that's partly why I posted. I've let it go on too long so my irritation at her has grown and made it hard for me to think of a polite way of putting her off, but she isn't an awful person. I agree that many of the suggestions on here will come across as pretty rude, but I think Annabella's phrase is good.

@BoomBoomsCousin

I think you’re over thinking it.

Just be honest, but firm, a quick hi, then explain you need to listen to the lesson. And, then listen to it, don’t encourage her, polite bye when leaving.

That’s it.

But why is this OP’s problem?

Its not. But it costs nothing to be kind...

That's just not true, I'm afraid. It costs, but generally since it's women who are encouraged to put other people's needs ahead of their own and 'be kind', the cost to them isn't considered important.

Right. And who is asked to be kind? Men?

No, generally women.

It’s not up to women to solve everything.

I probably would just blank her to be honest, or after she says something look like you’ve just come out of a daze and say what was that Brenda, sorry I wasn’t really listening. Or alternatively at the beginning say I’ve had such a stressful day today I just need to sit in silence for a bit, and then if she starts up get up and walk away. But then I can be a bit rude sometimes.

Then, quite frankly, what is the point of your post? You have clearly made up your mind that you are going to ignore her and be rude if thats what it takes to shut her up. So why even bother to ask what the rest of us think?

I think I would tell her I had some important phone calls to make and sit in my car for a bit!

Maybe just see it as your good deed for the week or ask her about something you are interested in hearing about.

Either set out a boundary 'Excuse me but I'd prefer not to talk today' or just allow the conversation to happen and decide not to be bothered by it.
Blanking is not likely to achieve any change, and getting annoyed is a waste of more energy.

Read your book.

When she interrupts, mark your place with your finger, look at The Witterer and smile and say ‘just one second!’ and keep reading.

Rinse and repeat

It's been a really useful thread for me, which you'd know if you'd bothered to read my posts.

It would cost me a miserable hour each week!

Ignore it all.
It's the nature of the aibu beast.
If wittering woman had posted she'd have had her arse handed to her.

Can you imagine?
Aibu to expect fellow parent to talk to me for an hour while our children have their lesson?
I like/need/want to talk. Last week I told her all about how doing 4 loads of laundry and watching tv made me late to sleep...

Sometimes people just think this response is really scathing and clever, it isn’t, obviously, it’s just rude.

I worked with someone like this years ago OP. I had to spend three hour shifts in a car with her and she’d just witter endlessly about how she bought lemonade and it was ever so much nicer than coke, cheaper too … my god. It gets so irritating but I didn’t want a bad atmosphere by telling her to be quiet so I just had to tolerate it.

Headphones make no difference to these people; they just make you keep taking the headphones off, witter at you and you put them back on. Repeat ad infinitum!

You could do some talking of your own- things you find interesting. Make some jokes. Shes just making small talk to pass the time. Change the subject. You could also sit in your car.

Wtf?!

We are talking about listening to the dialogue of someone who is likely lonely.

So just don't talk to her then.

Like I said, it doesn't cost anything to be kind but it isn't compulsory.

I did read your post. I will be honest, I haven't read every single reply but I get the gist. In what way has it been helpful to you? You'd already decided what you were going to do.

I don't understand why telling her directly you don't want to talk is an issue for you. If you don't want to talk, just say that politely but clearly.

If you're reading your book you can't really listen to your daughter's instructions so you might as well sit in the car. Explain to your daughter that you are interested but x's mummy is a 'chatterbox' and it gives you a headache. But I honestly don't care about appearing mean in this situation because people like this have a hide like a rhino and I'd deal with it head on. I would say, "You'll have to excuse me but I get a lot of headaches and this is my one opportunity for a bit of peace and quiet" and just walk to the opposite side of the paddock. If she follows, move saying, "I'm sorry, but I really need to be on my own, my head is splitting." If I've said it twice politely I have no hesitation in being a bit snappy the third time. It's no skin off my nose if I'm disliked by people like this.

I get it - I hated small talk at my DCs activities. I enjoyed the down time. I’d either make myself scarce, or if I did have to physically stay I’d have a book/headphones etc. But failing that, just say what you mean - ‘I don’t want to chat, sorry’. Then don’t.

"You'll have to excuse me but I get a lot of headaches and this is my one opportunity for a bit of peace and quiet"

I might try this actually. It’s polite but firm. Good one!