AIBU to be suspicious after finding a sealed card in his luggage?

[greatbigproblem]

So... My husband works away a lot. I mean really a lot. No particular reason to distrust him but at the end of the day I'm a realist and think complacency is unwise. Marriage not great but honestly it's probably more me that thinks that...
Anyway. Husband packing to go away. Stuff on bed. I picked up a music magazine that was lying in amongst the stuff and flicked through it. Inside, there was a red sealed greetings card. This has got my spidey sensing tingling because this man doesn't send anyone - other than me - cards EVER. I do all that stuff.
I don't know what to do: ask him about it? But I run the risk of him being defensive and if he really doesn't want me to see the contents of the envelope then I suspect he will accuse me of snooping and I'd have to escalate massively to see the contents. If that happened then yes you could say that would be all I'd need to know but I feel I'd want something concrete to base turning our lives upside down upon.

What I have actually done is remove it to give myself time. I figure if it's current and important he'll worry where it's gone but he'll have to ask ME about it.

I COULD find an envelope same size and colour and open and reseal. Probably don't have time to do that today and he's leaving tomorrow.

I'm mainly a lurker but I've seen other people get good advice on here so... What do we think?
To be clear I am very chill about him being away all the time and never give a second thought to where he is or what he's up to. But this has kind of freaked me out and I have a weird feeling about it.

This 💯

How can you not open it. It would have taken me all of 10 seconds within finding it.

I would open it. I think there is a good chance as someone else has said that it’s an insert / junk envelope inside the magazine. Surely no one in their right mind trying to hide something would casually slip it inside a magazine where it could easily fall out!

If it’s not that and it’s dodgy then you deserve to know. To those saying ‘just ask him’ .. I suspect you have never been with a partner having an affair (I’m not saying that’s the most likely scenario here OP) . I have. They absolutely do not tell the truth and that’s your chance at unearthing something gone. Do not ask him.

3 scenarios here.

1. it’s a magazine Insert. You chuck it. He didn’t know it was there anyway.

2. it’s to his great aunt. Oh sorry DH I saw this on the floor and opened it by mistake - I’ll get another envelope for it

3. it’s to another woman - well thank fuck you did and he hasn’t got a leg to stand on (and you thought it was a magazine insert which is why you opened it just to check)

I was thinking that
some marketing looks like this

Trust your spidy senses but don't let him know you found the card.... I'd move the magazine and if he says anything I'd say I'd picked it up to read and must have left it in a cafe/ at work/ on the bus/ at the gym etc, or perhaps you swatted a bug with it and chucked it out because it was messy?

Anyway, how worried/annoyed he was would be telling. I'd play dumb and apologise and offer to pick up another magazine for him or order him a digital copy. No big deal, it's just a magazine.

You'd then be free to open the card at your leisure and depending on what you found you could investigate further while he's away.

Just open it, deny all knowledge if ever seeing it. Ig its something untoward hes not going to ask you for it anyway, plus what does it matter then. If its for someone else, well he'll just have to replace it as he's lost it.
My concern is that it was 'hidden'. That would require proof of what's inside for me.

I’d open after he’d gone away. If he’s discovered he’s lost it, he’s probably would assume it’s just dropped out somewhere.

Then follow @Skatefordinner three options.

I’d have opened it within about 3 seconds, because if the contents are dodgy, then you’re not going to need to reseal it as you’ll have to talk to him about it? Surely?

Dont ask him. Why ask someone who may already be lying to you and give them the chance to lie again.

just open it, no big deal

Open it. Don’t worry about replacing the envelope. If it’s something to worry about then altleast you know, if it’s not, chuck it in the bin and let him think he has lost it..he can buy another greeting card

I would open it now. If it’s dodgy you don’t need to re-seal it as you’ll be speaking to him about it anyway and if it’s not you have time to get another red envelope.

This.
Open it and pretend you have no knowledge of it.
If this is evidence of something dodgy, then you will have to look for further evidence.

I would assume it's a marketing thing.

But even if that's the case, it sounds like the trust has gone and that's a deeper problem.

Open it.

Keep it hidden until he’s gone then open it

I’d do the same

I agree that "just asking him" is not the way forward.

And there are two teenagers in the house right now so it would be really hard to hide something like that from them so now is not the time for a confrontation.

I think I'm going to see if he says anything tonight / tomorrow about where it's gone. Then tomorrow when he leaves I can open it.

On a practical level he's got three really pressing diy jobs to do before he leaves and I really don't want to have a massive row and end up having to do those myself!

That is a bit flippant but I just feel like if there's something major to take on board - like an affair - then I actually want to do that without him around because at the end of the day there wouldn't be anything he could say that would make it better. In fact he'd be likely to make it a whole lot worse by making the whole thing my fault.

My God woman open it. The suspense must be killing you and if it's nothing you can relax x

Yes. I mean, DH works away a huge amount, and finding a sealed envelope with his things wouldn’t give me a second thought.

The more I think about it, the more I think it’s likely to be a marketing insert. But yes I’d 100% be opening it.

Just open.it. you married. No secrets.
Say "oh i found this on the floor. Had no name so i opened it.
Who is sarah? "

Said casually if looks innocent birthday card ....