Husband won't drive

[Tdp123]

My husband has a driving license but decided about 15 years ago that he doesn't like driving, so he hasn't been behind the wheel since.

We are currently on holiday in a remote part of the UK—a destination that he chose and booked. We both enjoy having a drink with dinner.

Tonight is our last night, and he is currently throwing a massive strop. He even called me a "cunt" because I am refusing to drive 30 minutes each way to go out for dinner, which would mean he gets to drink while I have to stay sober to drive us back.

I have cooked, served, and washed up every single evening on this holiday. I am happy to do the same tonight, especially since we have plenty of nice food and drink right here in our beautiful accommodation that will otherwise go to waste.

Am I being unreasonable here?

You know you aren’t.
so are you just venting or what?

Nope.

Calling you a cunt for not doing his bidding is awful.

Either cook dinner for yourself or go to a restaurant alone and have a last night on holiday with amenable company.

Well, you doubt yourself sometimes when the other person is so sure. Just wanted to garner other opinions.

Oh I couldn’t be doing with that. Book the solo holiday you want next time.

Name calling is absolutely not ok. Also, why have you been doing all the jobs- couldn't he do the washing up? I mean that itself is bad.

Anyone who called me a cunt in those circumstances would be finding his own way back from the holiday tbh.
Unless his apology came in fast and without my demanding it in the VERY near future

But I’m guessing its the tip of an iceberg?

Well I would pick a holiday where no driving is required tbh but then again I wouldn’t be with someone that called me that name (or anything else).

He is being massively unreasonable.

Also, if my DH ever calls me a cunt I will divorce him.

Never mind that, why is he name calling and why has he not cooked or washed up once? The bar is so low.

What would he say if you decided that you also no longer like driving and have decided to give up?

He’s rude and spiteful!

It is never acceptable to call your wife a cunt, even if she has been unreasonable. Which you haven't. If he so keen to go out to dinner perhaps he could arrange a taxi. For one.

He is presumably abusive and controlling in other ways. And you may be too used to it.

Yes, you're being totally unreasonable OP.

Who wouldn't enjoy being called a cunt and cooking, serving and washing up all holiday 🙄

Of course you are not being unreasonable op.

but you do need to have a good think about why you need to question whether your husband calling you a cunt because you don’t want to be his cab driver once again.

Because it isn’t remotely acceptable. None of it is. If any one of the following things happened to me I would no longer be married to someone so vile;

1. called me a cunt
2. exoected me to drive him around for 15 years
3. expected me to do all the cooking and cleaning on holiday
4. booked a holiday knowing that I would have to do 2 and 3

none of it is remotely acceptable, why do you tolerate this?

And doing all the driving!

I wouldn't be driving him anywhere until and unless I got a grovelling apology for the name calling. He is an arsehole.

i’d be driving - home to pack his shit and change the locks lol.

but seriously, why are you a skivvy for him? it’s not 1950. Youre allowed to have a life. and fun. and a drink. wirhout nasty names being thrown at you.

just tell him “remember you decided years ago not to drive and ive had to do it ever since, well ive decided the same. so fuck you, you lazy misogynistic bastard”

I'm quite happy self catering on hols as we like to take our dogs away with us. If my husband spoke to me like that for any reason at all, he'd find himself alone for the last night and sorting his own travel. Please don't stand for it.

Well what do you think OP?

He is presumably abusive and controlling in other ways. And you may be too used to it.

this will definitely be true unfortunately.

I'd be tempted to make use of my driving skills by packing my bags and driving off without him.
Book 1 night in a lovely hotel, have your own meal and drink then let him make his own way home on the bus - if he can find one.

Well, I'm perfectly happy to cook and clean up, and drive 99% of the time, but I do like a glass of wine with my dinner when I'm on holiday.

Just so you know op, the 7% Yabu, will be from people who don’t understand why you tolerate this or have to question it.

what are you getting from this marriage?

Why op? Why are you happy to be treated like a slave?

More fool you. Because that imbalance in chore allocation has led to your OH viewing you as the domestic staff, not a life partner