Husband won't drive

[Tdp123]

My husband has a driving license but decided about 15 years ago that he doesn't like driving, so he hasn't been behind the wheel since.

We are currently on holiday in a remote part of the UK—a destination that he chose and booked. We both enjoy having a drink with dinner.

Tonight is our last night, and he is currently throwing a massive strop. He even called me a "cunt" because I am refusing to drive 30 minutes each way to go out for dinner, which would mean he gets to drink while I have to stay sober to drive us back.

I have cooked, served, and washed up every single evening on this holiday. I am happy to do the same tonight, especially since we have plenty of nice food and drink right here in our beautiful accommodation that will otherwise go to waste.

Am I being unreasonable here?

Just why are you happy to do all the cooking, cleaning and driving?

What does your partner bring to the table? Just his manly presence?

So, you are happy to be a doormat, just so long as he doesn't call you the c word!

I wouldn’t be ok with him not driving.

My DH can’t drive due to a disability, and it does add a burden to me. If he was choosing not to drive and put it all on me, I’d be furious. You can’t just decide “nah can’t be fucked, my other half will have to literally do all of it”

Would it not be easier to get a taxi tonight? I think your husband was unreasonable to have called you names, but I think you’re being unreasonable not wanting to go out on the last night of your holiday. It wouldn’t seem like a holiday at all to me if I ate in my accommodation every night.

It would be the end for me if DH called me a cunt.

Could do, but it would be at least 50 quid each way which would put me off.

I’m inclined to agree. While there’s often too large a clamour to LTB in here, someone who is prepared to react like that over something as benign as a dinner out almost certainly has a huge raft of other odious behaviours going on

I wouldn't go to dinner so far away in the first place but get a taxi and then a divorce

It doesn't matter whether you're happy or not, does it?

The point is, someone who claims to love you shouldn't be sitting on their arse all holiday and leaving everything to you.

Would you do that to someone you love?

And then call them a cunt when they don't want to drive you somewhere?

How have you let this happen?

Tell him that you don't like cooking and washing and just stop doing it

Taxi? Not a chance
Thing is OP, why would you now even WANT to go for dinner with this abusive obnoxious fuckwit?

Anyone not driving is reasonable. Given how many people there are unfit to hold a licence but still allowed to drive.

However, use of the C word, or choosing holidays with no walking or public transport option, that is 100% unreasonable.

@Tdp123 Prioritise yourself! Your husband doesn’t respect you at all.

Taxi?
Don't ask. Just book it. Tell him you're having a night off.
X

When he chose and booked it I would have asked him how he was going to get there. I would have explained I was not prepared to do all the driving, something I could have told him had he asked me, and therefore declined to go. You can’t make him drive but personally, I wouldn’t compensate. If he chooses to be a non -driver, he lives with the limitations that comes with. I wouldn’t compensate and would NEVER give him a lift anywhere unless he shared the driving.

Forget the driving.

My DH would only call me a C once before he became an ex DH.

A night off? The OP needs the rest of her life off from this cock lodging, abusive, poor excuse for a human being.

Book a taxi there and back.

Lol x

Time to prioritise yourself, OP.

Either book a taxi or refuse to go, as you like. (If booking a taxi means you, personally, would pay, that’s unacceptable. Unless all expenses for this holiday come out of a joint pot, DH owes you this.) Do it in a positive spirit - make clear that you aren’t trying to thwart DH, you simply deserve this.

I assume there is no back story where DH has been catering to you in other significant ways to make up for your efforts. That might change the balance.

I wouldn’t want to get in the car with him driving seeing as he’s not been behind the wheel of a vehicle for 15 years. There’s only one cunt OP and it’s not you.

Just quoting this for all the 'book a taxi' posters who seem to have missed it...

You seem to be accepting of your role in this relationship op, but youre not joining the dots. Of course someone who thinks it’s perfectly fine for you to be his servant, which you have said you are happy with, is also perfectly fine to call you a cunt if you don’t fulfil the role. It is what the two of you have come to accept as normal. If you are happy to be disrespected, I’m not sure why it’s a surprise when you are disrespected.

I saw that. But what are OP’s choices? DH may decide to go without her, meaning that the money would be spent anyway. Then she will have missed the meal to no purpose.

Book a room for yourself near the restaurant without saying anything to DH. Have your dinner and 2 or 3 glasses of wine (I would also have a brandy). When dinner is finished get up walk out and leave him to it!