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AIBU?

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Original poster

Husband won't drive

185 replies

Tdp123 · 23/08/2026 13:18

My husband has a driving license but decided about 15 years ago that he doesn't like driving, so he hasn't been behind the wheel since.

We are currently on holiday in a remote part of the UK—a destination that he chose and booked. We both enjoy having a drink with dinner.

Tonight is our last night, and he is currently throwing a massive strop. He even called me a "cunt" because I am refusing to drive 30 minutes each way to go out for dinner, which would mean he gets to drink while I have to stay sober to drive us back.

I have cooked, served, and washed up every single evening on this holiday. I am happy to do the same tonight, especially since we have plenty of nice food and drink right here in our beautiful accommodation that will otherwise go to waste.

Am I being unreasonable here?

OP posts:
Victorius19 · 23/08/2026 15:28

Do you have doormat tattooed on your forehead?

Where is your dignity.... he is walking all over you, refusing to drive and bitching at you when you won't.

Empress13 · 23/08/2026 15:30

Sorry but I couldn’t be with someone who doesn’t drive but that’s just me and as for the name calling I have no words.

TeaCupTinsel · 23/08/2026 15:32

If my husband ever called me a 'cunt' we'd be over. He'd be bloody walking home!

Your husband is horrible! You are not being unreasonable and he can bore off. He should have chosen a holiday home closer to shops/restaurants instead of expecting to use you as a taxi!

Jerrybalanitis · 23/08/2026 15:32

Cloverroll · 23/08/2026 14:24

This is reverse mysoginistic. There are a lot of women who 'don't have the balls' to drive a car and we're all mostly sympathetic about that. Why is it different for a man?

Show quote history

Most people find wimpy men deeply unattractive. He sounds pathetic.

outerspacepotato · 23/08/2026 15:33

Somebody called me a cunt I'd drive off and leave his nasty ass there and be hitting a lawyer's office first thing.

Horses7 · 23/08/2026 15:33

He would be dumped for calling me a See you next Tuesday - I’m over 40 years married and he has never called me names - ever!!
He sounds absolutely awful and I feel very sorry for you.

shuggles · 23/08/2026 15:37

@Tdp123 Tonight is our last night, and he is currently throwing a massive strop. He even called me a "cunt" because I am refusing to drive 30 minutes each way to go out for dinner, which would mean he gets to drink while I have to stay sober to drive us back.

I think you are far too old to be getting into a huff over not being able to get drunk. Most people grow out of binge drinking after their early 20s and the novelty wears off.

shuggles · 23/08/2026 15:38

Jerrybalanitis · 23/08/2026 15:32

Most people find wimpy men deeply unattractive. He sounds pathetic.

Show quote history

Oh look, it's someone who just got here from the manosphere.

Mycatmax · 23/08/2026 15:43

shuggles · 23/08/2026 15:37

@Tdp123 Tonight is our last night, and he is currently throwing a massive strop. He even called me a "cunt" because I am refusing to drive 30 minutes each way to go out for dinner, which would mean he gets to drink while I have to stay sober to drive us back.

I think you are far too old to be getting into a huff over not being able to get drunk. Most people grow out of binge drinking after their early 20s and the novelty wears off.

Edited

Binge drinking? Maybe OP just wanted a large glass of wine?

thepariscrimefiles · 23/08/2026 15:43

shuggles · 23/08/2026 15:37

@Tdp123 Tonight is our last night, and he is currently throwing a massive strop. He even called me a "cunt" because I am refusing to drive 30 minutes each way to go out for dinner, which would mean he gets to drink while I have to stay sober to drive us back.

I think you are far too old to be getting into a huff over not being able to get drunk. Most people grow out of binge drinking after their early 20s and the novelty wears off.

Edited

So OP is too old to want to have a drink with her dinner (nowhere has she said that she wants to get drunk) but you have no harsh words for her DH who called her a cunt because she refused to drive him to a restaurant where he would be drinking and she couldn't?

You haunt these threads with your male perspective, and you have been very rude to OP.

Metromayhem · 23/08/2026 15:47

shuggles · 23/08/2026 15:37

@Tdp123 Tonight is our last night, and he is currently throwing a massive strop. He even called me a "cunt" because I am refusing to drive 30 minutes each way to go out for dinner, which would mean he gets to drink while I have to stay sober to drive us back.

I think you are far too old to be getting into a huff over not being able to get drunk. Most people grow out of binge drinking after their early 20s and the novelty wears off.

Edited

Looks like the husbands found this thread 🙄

shuggles · 23/08/2026 15:48

@thepariscrimefiles So OP is too old to want to have a drink with her dinner (nowhere has she said that she wants to get drunk)

She could have a pint and be fine to drive. Although drinking alcohol with your main meal of the day is a bit weird.

but you have no harsh words for her DH who called her a cunt because she refused to drive him to a restaurant where he would be drinking and she couldn't?

I would also view her husband as being far too old to be getting into a huff over not being able to drink.

... but clearly, the reason why her husband is annoyed is because he's not being provided with transport. Some people don't drive which is fair enough, but there does come an age when people are far too old to be drinking.

SweatyWarrenBetty · 23/08/2026 15:50

Not driving (by choice) is very unmanly...
So is not pulling your own weight, especially on holiday.
Also, swearing at your wife.

Tel12 · 23/08/2026 15:53

Once. He only gets to call you this once. As he has chosen to leave the driving to you, you get to dictate when and where you drive
.

Pearlstillsinging · 23/08/2026 15:55

He would only call me that once!

SweatyWarrenBetty · 23/08/2026 15:57

Cloverroll · 23/08/2026 14:24

This is reverse mysoginistic. There are a lot of women who 'don't have the balls' to drive a car and we're all mostly sympathetic about that. Why is it different for a man?

Show quote history

No one on MN is sympathetic to women who don't drive (by choice) 😂
It's the short cut to a logistically complicated existence, and always bothering others for lifts.

PepsiBook · 23/08/2026 15:57

Why are you doing all the cooking and cleaning?
And tolerating someone calling you a cunt because you don't want to drive - when he doesn't either.

fashionqueen0123 · 23/08/2026 16:04

RamALamADingDong2 · 23/08/2026 14:20

Sometimes I read stuff on here that just stuns me. Like......eh?!

If my husband EVER even considered uttering the C word in my direction, there would be serious hell to pay.

Again, if he ever even considered not pulling his weight on our JOINT holiday and for some unfathomable reason expected me to do all cooking, serving, cleaning, and driving, there would be hell to pay.

Unless he's got a physical disability AND Tourette's, you might want to have a serious think about why on earth you're living this way.

It astounds me as to what some women are ok with.
Part of raising my girls is to make sure they never become like this!

fashionqueen0123 · 23/08/2026 16:05

shuggles · 23/08/2026 15:37

@Tdp123 Tonight is our last night, and he is currently throwing a massive strop. He even called me a "cunt" because I am refusing to drive 30 minutes each way to go out for dinner, which would mean he gets to drink while I have to stay sober to drive us back.

I think you are far too old to be getting into a huff over not being able to get drunk. Most people grow out of binge drinking after their early 20s and the novelty wears off.

Edited

So then the husband shouldn’t have an issue with not going then?

Yupstillhere · 23/08/2026 16:13

Well do you think that's okay, I would end the relationship.

Anywherebuthere · 23/08/2026 16:17

After being called that why are you not cutting the holiday short and leaving him? Is that normal in your relationship?

TheOliveWriter · 23/08/2026 16:28

shuggles · 23/08/2026 15:48

@thepariscrimefiles So OP is too old to want to have a drink with her dinner (nowhere has she said that she wants to get drunk)

She could have a pint and be fine to drive. Although drinking alcohol with your main meal of the day is a bit weird.

but you have no harsh words for her DH who called her a cunt because she refused to drive him to a restaurant where he would be drinking and she couldn't?

I would also view her husband as being far too old to be getting into a huff over not being able to drink.

... but clearly, the reason why her husband is annoyed is because he's not being provided with transport. Some people don't drive which is fair enough, but there does come an age when people are far too old to be drinking.

Drinking wine with a meal, especially when on holiday, or having a good meal out is a reasonable thing to do, irrespective of age. It is miserable to watch someone else enjoy this option when they have decided they don't want to drive, so you are denied /not allowed the same enjoyment. Calling you a cunt at any time, but particularly over this, needs addressing sharpish. Others have offered helpful suggestions, what you can't do is do nothing.

Gardenisablooming · 23/08/2026 16:45

He drives or end your relationship..you're a dw not his fucking chauffeur .

Bogliasco · 23/08/2026 16:53

shuggles · 23/08/2026 15:48

@thepariscrimefiles So OP is too old to want to have a drink with her dinner (nowhere has she said that she wants to get drunk)

She could have a pint and be fine to drive. Although drinking alcohol with your main meal of the day is a bit weird.

but you have no harsh words for her DH who called her a cunt because she refused to drive him to a restaurant where he would be drinking and she couldn't?

I would also view her husband as being far too old to be getting into a huff over not being able to drink.

... but clearly, the reason why her husband is annoyed is because he's not being provided with transport. Some people don't drive which is fair enough, but there does come an age when people are far too old to be drinking.

but there does come an age when people are far too old to be drinking.

Are you joking? My parents are in their 80s and still enjoy a drink with their dinner. Out Friday for a meal. 2 pints for DF. 2 glasses of wine for DM. Both not driving as I drove. Soda and lime for me. Everyone's happy!

Createausername1970 · 23/08/2026 16:54

I wouldn't be happy with this at all.

I can kind of get past the "not driving" aspect as there are (or were) plenty of marriages/partnerships where the wife/girlfriend doesn't drive, or expects the man to do the driving. And at the point he said he wasn't going to, that was the point to have spoken up and said you weren't being the default driver.

And if you are happy to do the chores without help - again, that on you to do something about at the start.

But calling your wife a cunt is not acceptable to me and to be honest I would have probably had a row, packed my stuff and driven home on my own. He can find his own way back. If that resulted in the breakdown of the relationship then so be it.