Is this level of bill splitting normal?

[Tightdp]

Renting with DP. We don’t pool wages so split our food shops. I’m happy with a rough estimate , he insists on going item by item on the recipes so it’s fair. I feel like he’s taking it too far now though. Some examples from the past week (we do 2/3 medium size shops a week rather than one big one):

-him thinking he’ll eat an extra bag of crisps than me so paying like 30p extra
-I only have weetabix occasionally so I had to pay about 20% of the total
-from tonight and what prompted me to post - I’ve had a stomach bug which I’m struggling to shift so I had to pay a higher % towards the loo roll.

This isn’t normal, surely!? He earns well and has no reason to worry about money.

Very peculiar and exhausting. Item by item.

Where did he learn to do this I wonder ?

I couldn’t live like this.

You have a stomach bug and his first thought is to make you pay more for loo roll?! What an idiot!

I’d love to watch him serving up beans on toast for you both - I can see him with a pair of tweezers counting out the beans ‘ fairly’ : one for you - one for me - one for you - one for me.

I can imagine the angst over an odd number of beans and deciding who will pay the extra 0.005p to cover it.

seriously though - this level of accounting is utterly insane.

not normal at all.

couldn’t live with someone who is counting my toilet roll usage or bowls of cereal.

Absolutely not normal! Before DP and I opened our joint account we had a fairly lax approach to splitting the food shopping he’d pay, then I’d pay rather than go Dutch on each shop.

what would happen if you bought a new sofa? Would he work out how many minutes each of you got to sit on it each day and then split accordingly? What happens if a new binge watch came out and you put in extra hours does your cost get recalculated?

Me too

@Tightdp absolutely not normal. Controlling and seriously odd.

I'd tell him that this constant equally dividing stuff up is tedious and life is too short.

What next? Calculate the exact cost per sheet of toilet paper, then have a log book in the toilet to record how many sheets you used? Does that apply to guests too?

I could not live that way, working out every tiny expenditure with a percentage breakdown.

Was he like this before you moved in together? @Tightdp

I couldn't live with someone like this!

"log book" 😅

Not normal. Bin him.

I would find this exhausting and petty.

Of ALL the fucked up things I’ve read this is in the Top 10.

WTAF

This guy needs to go. JFC. Save yourself.

Just imagine how fun he’d be to go on holiday with….

Having to pay extra for having the shits should be a wake up call.

Omg op, this is definitely not normal!!!

@Tightdp I am genuinely curious as to whether you still find this man attractive after experiencing this behaviour.

Can you "play the tape forward" and think what life would be like if you had kids in the future and you went down to maternity pay only ....

This. And you end up paying the full chidcare bill so you can work.

Is he an adult only child with OCD? Does he worry about toothpaste caps not being replaced tightly enough? He maybe doesn't understand the concept of living together in with a relationship is not the same as having a lodger.

How on earth is measuring your toilet paper use? Is he measuring the diameter of the loo roll every day? It's such a personal thing to be checking up on. Buy the double length rolls so they don't run out so quickly.

Can you not just pay in an agreed monthly sum into one joint account to pay bills and household and food expenses and use a card to pay for the shared household bills and goods.

I am sure op could have a twice weekly stomach bug and would still use less toilet paper than any man.

I could not cope with this. We both chip in £50 each per week for shopping, sometimes it goes over and sometimes it’s less.

is he worrying about money? I would tell him that it needs to change as the level of pettiness is too much. Otherwise I don’t think I could be with someone like this- just imagine about bigger issues in the future.

Tackle this now OP and tell him it's not ok and you're not going to put up with it

Honestly, let this continue and you'll be back on here in 10 years time miserable and totally stuck

Trust me on this,y SIL is married to one of them. Left unchecked it only gets worse

This cant be serious? 😆 no this is not normal.

No its not normal and bloody pathetic. You need to tell him that!

Dont forget too op that you have the benefit of his ex’s experience. He was exactly the same, he will not change, and it became intolerable to her.