So angry what is wrong with some parents

[fumingrightnow1]

My dd14 was supposed to be sleeping at a friend's tonight. They have had an argument and she said let's just leave it and go to sleep her friend told her she had to leave so she's walked home and just come in the door at gone 10pm. I can't believe the mum didn't step in and do anything or let me know and I would've got her. I've said to dd why didn't you call me but she just shrugged and said she was fine walking and didn't want to stand outside waiting for me. Its about a 10 minute walk. I don't let her out on her own at this time of night. As a parent i would have stepped in and can't believe this other mum did nothing.

🤣🤣🤣

I think this whole thread just highlights how different people parent and that, as parents, we tend to be passionate when it comes to our own idea if how to keep our children safe.

For example, I have no issue with a teenager walking home alone at 10pm. However, there is fuck all chance my DC would be doing sleepovers without me having a parent's number.

What you EXPECT and what you get are two different things, OP.

To be fair I would have absolutely taken her home myself BUT surely it’s no different from walking home from hanging out with her friends on an evening if you put it into perspective

You don’t know that the other mum heard them. You said you assume she would have heard your daughter leave but you don’t actually know.

You didn’t have other mums number. She probably didn’t have yours.

That you didn’t have each others numbers when they have stayed at each others several times is bizarre.

Although I wouldn’t have been happy had my daughter walked home at 10pm by herself, I would be more annoyed with myself/daughter than blaming the other mum.

Worry less than I would have done, say, 30 or 40 years ago, which was my original point? Yes, most certainly.

You're absolutely right

But i don't let my 14 year old walk home alone from anywhere at 10pm. But the difference is if she wasn't home by 10.15 id know there was a problem. If something happened last night I wouldn't of known until about now when I'd be messaging her asking if she's home for tea

Having experienced something similar myself recently, I suspect your DD hasn't given you the full story.

For all you know, your DD could have refused a lift just like she refused to call you or she might have said you were meeting her.

I'd probably ask the mum if it bothers you that much but I'd recommend you don't take your DD word at face value before hearing the parents side.

You don't generally. As I said it' was usually a birthday. And you message the girl while in the car park. Not like infant school with loads of parents hovering around

Tbh rarely saw friends parents at primary with. DD was in ASC club twice a week, other kids had childminderd to collect them wtc

Does the other mother know that though? I doubt your daughter told her that. And it was your daughters responsibility to be phoning you if she's aware she's not allowed out by herself at 10pm . It's certainly not the other mothers responsibility

My point was that there were opportunities to meet parents before sending your child off to their houses without a clue about who they were.
When my DC were in year 7 all of her new friends' parents made a point of at least saying hello, even if that was only by WhatsApp. Most came out their car to meet their daughter the first time, even if they never subsequently bothered.

Well that sounds lovely but also not what everyone does. Like the OP who had not made any sort of effort to exchange info with this other parent in the last 3 years but is surprised she didn’t phone.

I think this is just like any number of parenting choices - one of my son’s friends parents was horrified I hadn’t asked before giving him an ice lolly as they restrict sugar. Hadn’t occurred to me to be anything to ask about. Neither of us are wrong or right - just different. There are plenty of things my kids do that their friends don’t and assumptions have been made both ways that just show how different people can be. I think my daughter’s friends would probably split down the middle about if 10pm for a 10 minute walk is acceptable - I see loads of teenagers out when I go get my daughter from dance so obviously it’s not that crazy.

Best never leave the house at all then.

A teenager walking 10 minutes down the road in summer really isn't a big deal.

It was dark when she walked home

Yes, OP seems overprotective.

I think if you have someone on messenger and you know they use it, it’s pretty much the same as having their number. You can call them on messenger and it will come through to them like any other phone call.

But at some point she will need to walk around in the dark like all women do. Will you keep her inside until she's 18?

oh I agree that parenting ideas differ.
I'm just finding it very hypocritical that OP is so up in arms about another parent not stopping (how?) her 14 year old daughter walking 10 minutes home at 10pm (which is only just dark at this time of year and, as you say, something that many parents, including plenty on this thread would have no issue with at all) and yet has been perfectly happily letting her daughter go off with a load of adults she knew nothing about from age 11, which I suspect rather more parents would have problems with.

You have heard half a story. Your dd should have rang you to meet her. She only walked 10 mins and she is home safe.

So it’s your daughter you should be annoyed at for breaking your rules. Not the other parent who didn’t know your rules.

10 minutes though? Would've been 5 if she'd jogged.