To ask when we lost sense of basic social etiquette?

[iveseenthefilms]

I got the train after work today and realised people just have no manners at all. Barging on the train before people had got off, not pausing to allow people out of their seats when getting off, being noisy and disruptive, just generally being unpleasant.

AIBU to ask what is wrong with people and when did we become like this? It’s sad!

I am rude at and about self-service tills. Nothing to do with COVID. They have been designed by techbros who never ever shop themselves.

Well for you to use that language means your parents must have used less than gentle language with you,

I have no idea why the grown women on MN think it's somehow cool or edgy to swear. You have time to type things so you have time to think and not use such expressions.

Of course, whether a child stands up for an adult is absolutely their choice. What I am not going to do is stand up for a child so that a family ‘can be together’ - I’ve seen parents demand this before. The parents never seem to give up a seat for their child, though. Funny, that

My parents didn't swear and still don't.

I do. I don't think it's cool or edgy, they're just words.

So away with you and clutch your pearls elsewhere.

Oh absolutely . I thought the suggestion was that children should be prioritised over the elderly.

It’s not just the UK. I work for a largish company. 750 of us in one building. So many people don’t even say hello in the lift. I think that is the minimum when you work in the same place.
But public transport the same, people barging on before you can get out and sorry at 8:30 in the morning I’m not in the mood for it and shout in English.

Utter nonsense.

THIS! Casual effing & jeffing in public REALLY winds me up.

Two late teens/early 20s lads were doing it at the gym yesterday and I asked them to moderate their language because constant swearing isn’t nice to listen to and sounds aggressive and intimidating. They were STUNNED into silence… and no doubt slagged me off like no-one’s business when they finished their (laughably low-weight) sets and ambled off.

Kids have just as much right to a seat on the tube/train as anyone else. In fact if it’s crowded they’re smaller, can’t reach all the hand rails as easily, more likely to get knocked over.

Trains and tubes have poles which anyone can reach (I once saw a child on a train using one of the poles as gym equipment). Or the adult holds on and the child holds on to the adult. Or adult sits with small child on lap and older child standing close and holding on to adult.

I've seen secondary school children occupying the priority seats on buses while elderly people with walking sticks were standing.

I'm really glad you called them out! They probably thought they sounded 'hard' lol. They might actually 'think on' about what you said and moderate their language in future. I'm going to try to be brave enough to do the same in future! Thanks for being an inspiration to me ha :)

i think you’ll find, on occasion, the word cunt is le mot juste

So if they are just words, it's ok for children to swear?

No, thought not.

I don't own any pearls, not my thing.

But using that expression really is foul.

Nope. Using a word for a woman's anatomy in that context never is. Come up with something more creative.

Anyway sorry for the derail. But it does illustrate that a lot of bad behaviour happens because parents don't behave properly either, so what chance have the kids got?

I live in Wiltshire and can honestly say most of the children and teens I encounter in our town are very polite and helpful. Like anywhere we have an unpleasant element who are responsible for most of the asb, graffiti, littering etc.
I'm pleased to say that I have never encountered the awful behaviour on public transport that some of you have experienced, even when visiting our nearest cities.
Commuters however are pretty self absorbed. Years ago I fell as I exited the train in London, people just ignored me, so it's not just a recent thing.

I think what's tricky with commuting is that you're not doing it for fun and you're doing it in what can be a really unpleasant environment. I'd never use that as an excuse to justify deliberate rudeness but if I'm honest my level of engagement with my surroundings tended to be the minimum I could get away with.

My parents never swore in front of us. They were immigrants so had no idea how to swear in English. However, we grew up (for the first few years of our lives) in the rough part of town and my brothers picked up all sorts of language that they then repeated at home....my parents were none the wiser! So it's not always parents' fault. My brothers both got First Class Honours Degrees and one is a doctor so I don't think it did them any harm whatsoever.
I don't find swearing particularly offensive when used in the right place, right time, with the correct people/social circle and in the correct context. I do however find it offensive hearing it on the street in public by a random. However, my husband and I use foul language occassionally (with each other in private conversation). I think it means you're a more rounded person imho and helps you let off steam, for sure lol.

@faithfultoGeorgeMichaelWhere is “up here”? Where ever it is, your middle aged and older women are my tribe (like your son, I also live in the south and I am a lone voice in bollocking).

For anyone who’s watching “Your Friends and Neighbours” series 2, I cannot really see how Mel is being THAT unreasonable by waging a vendetta against her entitled, selfish neighbours and their dog Arlo, who repeatedly shits on Mel’s lawn. She’s my hero for presenting one of his poos in a gift bag to them at their door.

No discipline, no punishment, always some syndrome or another for poor behaviour, and the dreaded "Don't Judge!" all mean that the shits of society are able to take full advantage of a society in which no-one dares to say "boo " to them.

Lesser shits see the fully paid up shits doing this and so they are encouraged to follow suit and so it goes on.

I was amazed to read on here, not so long ago, of a nine year old giving his mother a split lip and another child thrashing a house.

Not one reply-in the wealth of useless advice which included, "Have you read the Explosive child"- said, "Have you tried smacking his arse?"

And this leads to the tragedies we've seen recently in Ireland and Middlesbrough.

I used to have this problem on the bus. I was always taught to wait for passengers to get off before i got on. People barging on while I was trying to get off, i noticed the secondary school age children are the worst offenders. Most adults were pretty good, but the kids would crowd around the door all trying to be the first on. Only sometimes would the driver order them back and once in a blue moon a polite child would tell their peers to let me off first.

I’ve found the contrary actually. Schoolchildren are usually polite and wait - I’ve found the worst to be foreign tourists who may not understand that on one door buses they need to wait for people to disembark.

A member of the middle aged mammy tribe recently berated two German male tourists in my hearing as they tried to
get on a bus ‘Oi you two, here we wait in a queue and let people awf first’. They moved pretty sharpish looking very sheepish.

Funny because on a visit to Franconia/ Bavaria region I found the people incredibly courteous and pleasant. I guess all nations have their boors.

It’s a shame though for the poor teen supervising the self serve machines. They are the recipients of the store’s disregard for its customers and customer ire.

I’ve never understood why I’m expected to be grateful and wait longer in order for the big chains to lay off staff and maximise their profits at the expense of my time and convenience. Boots self checkout and their useless paper bags are a particular bugbear as they don’t register the very light items like eye pencils meaning a long wait for the very few staff remaining to come to help. I now use Superdrug instead for as much as I can because they have multiple staffed tills and I’m in and out quickly.

Same old tedious blah about putting old people into homes ‘because we don’t care’.

From experience, there is almost always a great deal of heart-searching before it’s finally decided that a residential or nursing home is needed - almost always because trying to care for the person in an ordinary home situation has just become too stressful and exhausting - especially if dementia is involved.

There often comes a time when 24/7 care and supervision are needed - by which I mean someone on hand ALL day, ALL night, 365 days a year.