To ask when we lost sense of basic social etiquette?

[iveseenthefilms]

I got the train after work today and realised people just have no manners at all. Barging on the train before people had got off, not pausing to allow people out of their seats when getting off, being noisy and disruptive, just generally being unpleasant.

AIBU to ask what is wrong with people and when did we become like this? It’s sad!

I agree with those saying that Covid lockdown has had a negative impact on the way people behave towards each other. Along with many other things. Those saying there has been a much longer gradual decline in standards may be correct, but it has been a lot more noticeable over the last 5-6 years.

It's been creeping for a couple of decades, but took a huge leap forward in Covid. When things went back to "normal" the idea of letting people off the train first or getting out of the way of others, or keeping to the right side in busy stations had just gone. It's similar on the bus, or pavement people will just stop dead in front of you to check their phone with no idea in their head that there is anybody else in the world trying to get somewhere.

Yanbu, train behaviour is terrible.

The worst is scrolling videos with no headphones, so incredibly antisocial.

See also speakerphone calls, apprentice-style. Unbelievable (except it’s not, as I now encounter this on a regular basis).

Everyone seems entitled these days. I’m just back from Spain and it was the same there. Entitled people with towels on sun loungers then not using them for 5 hours, people barging in restaurant, people trying to get in the lift before you can get out etc
and Don’t get me started on the people using the pool!

I prefer a nice loud pass-agg “you’re welcome!”

Ha ha....yes, so I can see :)
It's strange, I'm not offended when reading it in MN posts (makes me laugh usually) and I can choose not read further if Im offended ....but I hate (usually teenagers) saying it in a public setting, especially when little kids are within earshot ☹️😡

I turned 30 this year and since doing so find my tolerance and patience is getting so much less

I get the bus and school teenagers are particularly the worst. I can be waiting ages then they’ll come along, stick their hand out even though mine is already out and then they’ll just barge straight on

Parents letting their kids climb all over the bus and then exasperated when the bus brakes and they get injured

A lady if I can call her that letting her kids run riot in Aldi the other day with multiple trollies. One barged into me and she just said oh you’ve hit someone with that trolley. Continued to let them f* about until one of them slammed their trolley into what I assume was their siblings mouth and cue her screaming at Aldi staff to get some tissue NOW 🙄

I have so much more but I genuinely thought my dad was awful growing up in the 90s and early 2000’s but we wouldn’t have dared behave with what I see now. I will say I’m a parent myself. I would regularly get ‘I’m bringing you up, not dragging you up’, now the opposite seems to be true. Just no one prepared me for how much all this little stuff would grate on me and make me dread going out in public now. It’s exhausting and a normal occurrence now

So don't imagine and actually search or sit back down.

You’ve been lucky so far. Haven’t you seen cases in the news where people have been stabbed or beaten to a pulp for daring to tell strangers off (or even look at them in an offensive manner sometimes)

I’m not seeing this. Quite the opposite. Calling teenagers “cunts” is charming, though.

I agree it got worse after lockdown. It’s every person for themselves these days.

And this is why. They grow up into antisocial adults.

I quite enjoy adding myself into a loud phone conversation, my assumption being that if they were having a private one to one then they'd have tried to keep it private. It usually embarrasses them into cutting it short.

I haven't seen any barging onto trains but then I don't commute very often now.

Roll on my move up North and rural, it can't come soon enough!

Or you could do it yourself since you led your first post by asserting that women objecting to men holding doors open for them is the root of present incivility:

When women made a huge point about being equal, and how it was 'offensive' to have men open doors for them etc, men stopped caring about etiquette because they would literally get yelled at for holding doors open

Any proof? At all?

I'm old so I have as little real world interaction with the general public as possible. I no longer travel on trains and buses or visit supermarkets so I don't see this. I always try to be friendly to posties, delivery drivers and customer service people because I know the public can be a nightmare. I don't open my door unless its someone expected or a courier with a package for me.

The pandemic changed people.

I noticed 7 years ago that the whole of UK and Ireland was polite and welcoming. So much so that Paris was uncivilised by comparison. I was blown away by British manners and friendly embrace.

People in front always opened doors for us, man or woman, and we reciprocated respectfully.

How sad that the essense of UK society is changing. How sad that you feel stranger danger in your own land. Why is this happening?

I work in one of the big 4 supermarkets on the checkouts (including self-scans) and I can say, without a shadow of a doubt, that the large majority of people are generally very impolite, impatient and rude. No manners, no social etiquette, and they generally lack the basic skills required to navigate a conversation. It's quite the phenomenon.

I totally agree it's because of Covid.

Rampant individualism in action. As long as Joe gets do what he wants to do, he dngaf about anyone else. They're in his way.

The rapid Americanization of British society is probably also partly to blame.

I was thinking about this on my way home from work today.
Car drivers don't always stop at zebra crossings now
People park in disabled spaces and just don’t care when they are not disabled
People drop litter all the time
Behaviour on public transport is very inconsiderate

It feels as if there’s a real shift now in terms of only caring about one’s self and immediate family.

I agree that's a lot of fun.

@menopausequeen Omg yes, literally yes to every single thing you've said, especially the thing about the disabled spaces, that shit pisses me off to no end

Manners are free and yet some many people didn't get thr memo.

In my city I see young people being mouthy trolls. Occasionally elderly people aren't off the hook either.

When I was queuing for a self-checkout at my local supermarket, an old guy pushes his way to the front of the queue in front of me. I told him the back of the queue is that way (pointing behind me). He replied I was being over the top and was only walking toward the checkout. He carried on walking in front of me and got thr next available self service machine. Bell end.

Some people are entitled arseholes and I call them out. I can't stand rudeness like that especially old people who know much better.

When I hear young people mouthing off I can't help think their parents dragged them up. Looking around I see young kids getting ignored by parents while they chat or glare at their phones like it's what's keeping them alive.

Parents need to parent. Not a lot of that going on. Now we have a society of gob shites among some old entitled Karens and Ken's.

I hope this is tongue in cheek

Just like adults there is a mix of characters.

The majority of teenagers are decent human beings.

I’ve physically removed someone else’s children and carted them back to the mothers after they were Deliberately Naughty where I volunteer.

DC and DM alike were stunned. The surprise element works.

DM was in denial about how awful her DS is and was very rude to me, which to her fury I smilingly ignored.

DS is worryingly nasty - at age 5, he’s under suspicion for attacking a baby.