To ask when we lost sense of basic social etiquette?

[iveseenthefilms]

I got the train after work today and realised people just have no manners at all. Barging on the train before people had got off, not pausing to allow people out of their seats when getting off, being noisy and disruptive, just generally being unpleasant.

AIBU to ask what is wrong with people and when did we become like this? It’s sad!

I think it's partly that Governments are not fixing things and just side stepping all the problems in the country and have since 2008 - people are pissed off and angry.
But I got a Glasgow to Euston train and everyone was so polite and friendly - helping with luggage, swapping seats - it's not everywhere. I spose there were no youngsters.

Or they lost their freedom for a while so just no longer give a shit.

We all 'lost our freedom' for a while. We didn't all forget our manners.

In the news today - Wetherspoons is banning customers playing music on their phones or other devices, or taking calls on speaker.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cnvnl8gy22lo

It has definitely got worse since covid.

In the school I work in the number if kids who dont bother with the basics and will openly destroy equipment you give them then demand another. And the lack of manners.

DD (16) and I visited London recently. £300 for theatre tickets and had to tell people to shut up during the show. We also did the Globe tour and the guide was gebuinely surprised that DD thanked him for his time (he actually said to me he doesnt get teens do that very often).

It does come down to people being lazy and dropping standards. DD no longer needs reminding but I was on her about manners, behaviour and showing respect growing up.

yes agree with this.

I regularly find myself exclaiming what is WRONG with people. I also notice that when you do call people out on their bad behaviour, they go on the attack, rather than apologise. Recent examples(just the most recent ones which happen to spring to mind) (1) we beeped a couple of cars as they were completely blocking the exit to a car park whilst they stopped to have a chat - seemingly not caring about the stream of cars waiting to get out. In response to beeping them we got (what I can only assume - based on facial expressions! - but couldn’t actually hear it as the window was closed) a stream of gobby abuse.
(2) I asked a man on the train to put his videos on silent or use headphones and when I refused because “he wanted to watch his videos” - I said he was selfish and the whole carriage shouldn’t have to listen to it - he accused me of being racist.

I would add - pretending not to see older people, pregnant women, people with disabilities on buses and trains, failing to hold the door open for anyone ever, but especially mums with prams (personal experience). A general lack of charm and manners.

A lot of people would agree, and say it's probably when people stopped thinking they should control the behaviour of the ir own kids, or step in if any child was misbehaving.
Other people will say views have just changed, as in some women are angry that catcalling isn't a thing now, others say it never should have been.

I frequently have to get the same train that the local teenagers take to sixth form college and I've just had to learn to look away. They ALWAYS put their feet on the seat, the ones travelling alone put their bag next to them, they push past you when they want to get off without saying 'excuse me'. I did actually tell one lad 'you've got really atrocious manners' the other week but I don't think it went in. I do wonder if they behave this badly at home.

The general public are bloody awful these days. No one gives a shit about anyone else.

I agree with Roses and hellebores the huge comps are so impersonal. Alot of the hidden curriculum isnt passed on because of the constant changes in staff. I also cannot abide that loud chat , music or videos on phones on public transport . I think it should be clearly displayed everywhere to use headphones or text . I believe Wetherspoons is introducing this .

The number of women who have ever frightened a man into being a rude oaf by yelling at him for holding a door in the name if equality, must surely be in single figures. Because no one is talking about rushing ahead of 'a lady' to open a door with a flourish and a bow.
We're talking about holding it so it doesn't slam in someone's face, or so they can get through with bags etc. A courtesy that happens woman to woman and man to man unless you're a rude oaf.
Don't excuse oafish men by blaming women's perfectly reasonable demands to be equal citizens.

The phones out loud is getting on my last wick. I’ll tell youngsters to stop it but admit I’m too afraid to tell grown men. You never know if they’ll turn nasty and I’m a rather annoyingly small human. Sometimes I wish I was built like a linebacker.

I live in a relatively middle class part of London and I see it literally all the time.

@NC9000when women made a huge deal about being equal. And you’re mad at women wanting to be treated as equal humans?

The number of women who have ever frightened a man into being a rude oaf by yelling at him for holding a door in the name if equality, must surely be in single figures.

Search MN historical threads and come to your own conclusion.

Also, kindly don't put words into my mouth. Thank you.

I last got a train about 3 years ago and it was like that. It was like that when I was getting trains to work about 10 years ago too. It's not a new thing. It's not like that on the busses I've been on, I don't know what it is about trains that makes everyone act that way.

The barging onto trains is awful and I agree with you overall but I don't actually think the people standing the whole journey should have to then stand longer so those seated can get out.

I noticed things changing in the '90s I think (and the arrival of the Internet) and it's just gradually got worse.

I'm pleased to say that my teens are polite and well-behaved, so they're not all bad. But yes, I agree, society as a whole is pretty rude nowadays.

Well done! I wish I had that effect. We could do with getting you cloned many millions of times and spread the clones all over the country.

My OH currently walks with a crutch. Going into Tesco, a guy tried to barge past him going in the automatic entrance gate nearly knocking him over.

I agree about Covid being a big divide - a lot of people I think became more aggressive - driving standards too seemed to drop ,

I see it on the tube in central London, people not letting you off before they barge on.

Go online and look for footage of people in the 80s, getting on trains, kids causing trouble, people crowding in streets etc. Nothing new here and no it isn’t “worse since Covid”. ASBOs were introduced nearly 30 years ago, and repealed 15 years later because there were so few of them granted in the end.

The world hasn’t changed, you have. Years ago you were in the group doing all the terrible stuff, now you are in the group that notices it, that’s all.

Some teenagers (usually boys) hang about in groups and egg each other on with silly dares. It was ever thus.In the past an older male would call them out and shame them for behaving disrespectfully and that would be that. Nowadays they are very disrespectful and inclined to back chat! That being said, in my experience there are some wonderful, kind and very considerate teenagers and I believe they are the majority. People aren't as quick to post about good deeds as they are about bad!

Honestly! Just went to the cinema by myself, rare child free time to see The Odyssey. The guy two seats along from me (no one between us) kept bringing out his phone! So distracting with the bloody bright light. I appreciate it's a 3h movie but surely you know that going in and why can't you stay off your phone for that time?

It wasn't just checking the time either it was sitting and scrolling. I kept putting my hand next to my face to block the light, wanted to say something but thought a) I'd miss more of the film and b) on my own, pregnant, you never know who's going to react in a crazy way

@PrincessofWills kudos.