To ask when we lost sense of basic social etiquette?

[iveseenthefilms]

I got the train after work today and realised people just have no manners at all. Barging on the train before people had got off, not pausing to allow people out of their seats when getting off, being noisy and disruptive, just generally being unpleasant.

AIBU to ask what is wrong with people and when did we become like this? It’s sad!

I think the concept of respect for elders must have worked better when the elders were the war generation. In my experience poor behaviour is well distributed amongst all ages and I don't feel our elders are anything exceptional these days. I certainly remember plenty of badly behaved adults when I was growing up.

So yes I'll offer a seat to those in need but no, I don't think an able bodied adult is more deserving of a seat than a child that got on the bus or train earlier.

saw family of 3 get on bus last week and promptly have to remove themselves to let people off.

Met group of teenagers when I was out with a pushchair. One yelled "move" at their mates and another got shoved out of my way. I was still 100m away!

I do similar. Or I find some really annoying and embarrassing tracks and play loudly until they get the message. Save Your Kisses for Me, Agadoo, Birdie Song, Shaddup Your Face, Puppy Love and Crazy Frog are my faves.

Oh give over! Covid is no excuse for parents not to have done their job properly, or for teens to act feral. Kids have been through far, far worse in the past.

I'm a teacher and have seen respect and manners go down the pan over the last 5 years. For me the parents are worse than the pupils. Rude, selfish, aggressive. I find that society doesn't challenge this and so they feel that they can get away with it. I think social media is the main reason. People being rude and judgemental behind a screen has spilled over into real life.

I’m in the south-west, normally live and let live and haven’t had any problems with teenagers although I have noticed that they are nastier to each other in public spaces than we would have been back in the day. People in general though …

Recently I was walking through a subway and the couple behind me speeded up to overtake me then slowed down so I was sort of jammed against the wall behind the rather fat man - I hope to goodness he doesn’t drive. Sixty-ish, no manners and couldn’t bear to see a woman in front of him walking faster.

Exactly.

And children learn good behaviour when you model it as an adult. Respect, kindness and politeness goes both ways and children are no less deserving of it by virtue of being children.

Agree. We've pretty much given up on going to the cinema. Too many people lack the attention span to sit for 2 hours without waving their phone in everyone's face and/or constantly shovelling noisy food into their faces. If an enterprising cinema offered quiet showings without food and phones I'd happily pay extra to enjoy the movie.

I was in Sainsburys the other day, just carrying a basket, and stopped to let someone with a buggy past (there was someone shelf stacking so it was a narrow gap). I was allowing them through and someone with a trolley shoved past me and snapped "f*cking MOVE" at me and then ended up getting stuck and making the lady with the buggy back up to allow them through.

I get supermarkets aren't fun but why would you speak to someone like that over something that took probably 5 seconds of their time.

I think that gives excellent insight into the tosspot's driving. How rude!

There is definitely more shoving on stairs and corridors than there used to be. I waited for around 20 students before one let me through a door (I was holding a heavy box). I told the one who waited what nice manners she had!

The other thing that has taken me aback....kids chewing gum throughout parents' evening AND THE PARENTS NOT NOTICING!

The concept of respect for elders worked better when as a society we valued life experience rather than dismissing it as irrelevant in favour of the bright, shiny and youthful. As a society we increasingly fetisise youth and reject and despise aging.
Older people today have drawn something of the short straw. Being young at a time when age was respected, believing they needed to respect their elders, believing their time to be prioritised for a seat would come; only to find oh no, we've changed all that now! It's the young that matter these days, so you are not deserving of respect, quite the opposite. You are old fashioned and slow and a bit of a nuisance who still doesn't get a seat on the bus.

There is a lowering of standards everywhere. I find it unbelievable that bus drivers have to be totally secure. The drivers cab is a secure enclosure , designed to protect the driver from physical attacks from aggressive passengers. Long gone are the days of the bus conductor, he wouldn't stand a chance today. Many have no morals , how they act, what vile things come spewing out of their mouths to their children. No respect for others. This country is just lost

Being polite, queuing etc is British.

I was on a bus yesterday when a loud mouth obnoxious woman got on with a child in a pushchair, the pushchair space was already taken but the wheelchair space was free and there was an 2 elderly ladies sat in the first disabled seats right by it. This obnoxious mare started shouting at the women to "fuckin move. i want to sit there" The ladies told her no and that they wouldn't be moving, well this vile thing starts gobbing off say she had PAD and was autistic and that meant she had priority so they had to move for her, she called them every name under the sun and threw an empty Monster can at them/ The Bus driver put her off the bus and everyone cheered. I pity the poor child being raised by it, they don't stand a chance.

It seems as if the definition of ‘able bodied’ is a sticking point. Personally I would consider most older children to be fitter and stronger than people in their 70s who have likely got weaker muscle tone and likely get tired more easily. I believe the priority seats at the front of buses are intended for older people or those with disabilities.

No longer, it would appear.

I recently told 2 teenagers off for vaping on a coach. Twice!
Their mom was further back.

At the end of the trip she was moaning to others that I shouldn’t have told them off. Well she should have been parenting them!

There are a lot of parents that really hate other adults directly interacting with their kids and think any issues must be discussed with them first. I don't think that's at all realistic myself.

I'd include older people in that but I don't see why it has to be kids first that give up seats. Anyone can be courteous.

I witnessed the most extraordinary thing yesterday.

A family of holidaymakers got on the bus. The mother and grandparents sat towards the back and the teenage daughter (I think about 15-16) and the younger son (no older than 10) sat towards the front.

All of a sudden the mother stands up and starts screeching at the daughter. She’s biting the son! The mother continues shouting and eventually the daughter moves to sit next to her. The daughter then goes on and on about the “mother protecting the younger one and not her”! I’ve never been more bemused in my life.

DS lives in the South and thinks it is worse down there because up here middle aged and older women do not hesitate to bollock people who step out of line 😂this is not true imo but it made me laugh a lot

It’s not just the film, it’s the running commentary and the taking of phone calls. Given most screens are unstaffed and I doubt security would intervene even if they were.

I was going to say the same thing but I think it depends if you travel at commuter times, when you might get the annoying phone calls but otherwise people are quiet and generally polite.

But if you travel at other times you can expect loud conversations, Peppa Pig on loudspeaker and fare-dodging teens.

I find people are pretty good at letting you off the train before they try to get on.

I have some very annoying neighbours who appear to never take their kids anywhere and they play in their very small garden (halved in size by their new extension, so we had that as well with noisy builders etc) which nearly backs onto mine (my next door neighbours must hate it even more than we do). There are two girls and they like screaming and the younger one starts crying whenever she doesn't get her own way. Anyway, yesterday the older one was singing - that's ok on its own - but she seemed to have an amplifier thing which was really annoying.

I was discussing with DS whether to start playing Dias Irae from Verdi's Requiem very loudly in the garden. Wagner's Ride of the Valkyries would probably do it too.

The question is of course - why do parents let their kids behave that way? Tell them to pipe down or bring them inside and close the door.