AIBU to not provide a free bar at our wedding?

[Gettingmarried27eek]

I'm getting married next year. Just wanted to hear your thoughts on whether you'd expect a free bar at the venue?

I've been to many weddings over the years, some have a free bar, most don't. I'm not a huge drinker so am always happy to buy my own at weddings.

We do have wine at the tables to have with the meal and champagne for the toasts.

Does this seem reasonable? Many thanks all!

There's taking advantage - of having a reasonable amount of drinks, and there's taking the biscuit.

If you're friends who are the latter, then I'd certainly be re-evaluating my friendship with them, especially if it then leads to the vulgarity which will inevitably happen.

@ByKindOpalPoet are you the type of person, who when there's a free bar on offer, you then aim to drink it dry?

Sounds fine to me. Congratulations!

Nonsense! We are not wealthy, but we still had a free bar.

Not one to say first post nails it...but exactly

I think free bars at weddings were popular for people who wanted to show off how much they had spent. Now seem out of fashion.

And for idiots who were trying to emulate the amounts spent by their Premier league heroes on their own weddings

Your wedding arrangements sound just fine. Have a lovely

day and a Happy Marriage.

Best Wishes
💐
X

I don’t think many people do a free bar now. That’s a thing of the past, but i personally would put a certain amount of money behind the bar that I could afford and once that ran out they could pay for their own.

I’ve only ever been to six weddings, including my own, and none had a free bar.

I doubt I’ll be going to any more, but if I did, I wouldn’t be expecting a free bar.

This attitude stinks of main character syndrome. Guests are paying through the roof to attend and have presumably given you a gift, booked a hotel and all of the other inevitable associated wedding costs. It is super vulgar and low class to expect your guests to pay for anything at an event that you are hosting.

The two cash bar weddings I have attended have charged enormous amounts for drinks- I think about £14 for a g&t at one. This particular wedding was hosted by a couple who were well off and it really raised a lot of eyebrows. People were leaving to go local corner shop to buy bottles for their hotel room. There was plenty of time for this as there were several long gaps without any food or refreshments provided. It is mortifying and terrible hosting to not provide your guests with drinks at an event they are paying to attend. Again, everyone outside of the UK I have met is shocked that this is even considered here.

I think free bars at weddings were popular for people who wanted to show off how much they had spent. Now seem out of fashion

Not true in our case. Our wedding reception a DIY family affair with a low budget. A big party without most of the usual wedding trappings.

Sorry, what? You think it is tacky to expect to be FED at a wedding? If I were hosting a birthday party, I would absolutely provide food and drinks (alcoholic and non-alcoholic) for my guests. Are you a 16 year old who attends BYOB house parties as that is the only scenario I can envision anybody having an event with no alcohol provided by the host.

No I'm an adult who doesn't expect to be bribed by free drink to celebrate my friends and family. Sorry if you need free stuff to show up.

We have been to 3 weddings this year, one in a stately home and 2 in marquees. There were around 50 guests at each. All drinks were provided, which were wines and beers, soft drinks and champagnes.
And each couple stated they did not need any gifts.

I must have attended at least 50 weddings in my time. I've only ever been to one with a free bar, and that was because the groom was a member of a well known pop group and therefore pretty well-off.
The other 49+ - including my own - were the standard drinks package - a glass of something on arrival, half a bottle of wine per person on the tables, and a glass of cava / prosecco / champagne for the toasts. Other than that, guests buy their own drinks.
This thread seems to be more "normal" but I've read plenty of Mumsnet posts in the past that basically said if there isn't a free bar they wouldn't go to the wedding, and it's disgusting to expect guests to pay for drinks etc. 🤯 thankfully common sense seems to prevail here!

We have a similar experience - except for the high profile wedding! Well, I’m dying to know now but appreciate I will probably never know 😊

Hopefully it's changed a bit (or my family have an alcohol problem!). She said "people will expect it" and said there's no way her mum would have allowed her to not have a free bar at their wedding. I don't drink myself, we did a reception drink of mulled wine (married in the snow) and a bottle or two of wine on the table.

All the weddings I have been to have had a free bar, or the couple have put a couple of grand behind the bar, or more. Maybe it's a drinkers thing, and people that don't drink much, or often, are against drunkeness at weddings, whereas drinkers think it's part of it.

We had wine on the tables during the meal and champagne for toasts. Worked out about 3 or 4 glasses each. Then one free drink per person for evening bar, ticket came with invite. We had people who were drunk but not to a horrible level like you can get with a free bar. Nearly every wedding I've been to had a pay bar.

Yes, maybe it’s changed, I’m not sure about that. My parents were married in the 60s and I know there was no staying over at the hotel then. Everyone went home, so I’m guessing that the day finished a fair bit earlier than it does in Ireland today.