AIBU to not provide a free bar at our wedding?

[Gettingmarried27eek]

I'm getting married next year. Just wanted to hear your thoughts on whether you'd expect a free bar at the venue?

I've been to many weddings over the years, some have a free bar, most don't. I'm not a huge drinker so am always happy to buy my own at weddings.

We do have wine at the tables to have with the meal and champagne for the toasts.

Does this seem reasonable? Many thanks all!

I wouldn't assume a free bar. I think I've only been to one (of about 7) weddings with a free bar.

I would assume wine on the tables at the meal and maybe a first glass of fizz/OJ at the drinks reception

If you can stretch to doing 1-2 free drinks tokens (I've been to weddings where they had them on your place card to use at the dancing portion) then that's a nice added extra but with a totally free bar there's always a risk that people will take the piss

That's totally fine.
Most of the weddings we went to had wine on the tables and bubbly on the tables, but not a big free bar.

^ this. Lots of brits have no control around booze. A free bar coild bring the vibe down.

If you know some people don't drink wime, it's a nice touch to give them tokens fir a couple of other drinks, but not essential

Wine at the table and a drink of choice for the toast. That’s what’s normally done around here.

I'd provide a welcome cocktail. table wine at the dinner, and sparkling for speeched, then paid bar afterwards. The last thing you want is some idiot getting roaring drunk at ytour expense. I've seen it happen. It can ruin a gorgeous wedding.

I think it is fine not to have a free bar. A welcoming drink, which I guess is something alcoholic, then wine on the table and a glass of bubbly for toasts is fine. If next summer is like this one though, I would make bottled water/ or tap water available without charge and lots of it, perhaps together with a few other soft drinks.

Doesn't that depends on the calibre of the guests? I've never seen issues with free bars.

I've been to many weddings, been bridesmaid 6 times and never had the delight of a free bar!

You may think I'm nuts but I can't stand wine 😂 so the venue are providing soft drinks for me and anyone else that doesn't want alcohol (of which I think there's only one other!)

Honestly I'd prefer a cold, icy coke over alcohol!

Most of the weddings in the U.K. have been to have had welcome drinks before the meal, wine with the meal and fizz for the toast provided then a pay bar. One was in a marquee on a farm with beer, wine and soft drinks provided through the whole thing. I would hesitate to provide free spirits even it it was affordable to be honest. Just too much risk of things getting out of hand.

I have been to a couple of American weddings, they had free bars but didn’t go on as long as a British (or at least Scottish) wedding does.

We gave everyone two tokens (casino chips) for the bar for after the meal drinks - so that the tab was split more fairly. I think between that, the welcome drink, table wine etc it was enough for most people.

The token drinkers that wanted to do shots all night paid for it themselves.

I don't think there's any requirement anymore with weddings being so expensive! Also I've been to weddings with a free bar where everyone loses track of their drinks and it ends up being an incredible amount of waste.

We didn't have a free bar. Due to our wedding being cancelled due to covid and the caterer being unable to refund us the venue cost we had already paid he did our food for free hoping to make the money back from the bar so in my husbands speech he asked everyone who wasn't driving to drink lots. I don't expect a free bar at weddings, I don't recall any weddings I've been to having a free bar.

We did not have a free bar at our wedding. We had wine on the table, but no free bar. I did not hear any complaints and the wedding was great.

Congratulations for your big day, make sure to eat in the evening- I totally forgot and regretted it.

drinks wise you covered welcome drinks, table drinks, I also offered prosecco draft Guinness/larger/bitter if people didn’t want wine, those were table serviced during meal, pre poured for arrival reception. Eveningbiaid drinks

I’ve been to one with a free bar and it was genuinely chaos. I kind of think because it’s not the done thing in the UK people didn’t know how to act and just got way out of hand. Also it was partly to do with the crowd, but it was enough to put me off the idea of ever having a free bar at any event for life - even if I won the lottery 😭.

What we did for my daughter's wedding as she and SIL had work colleagues to evening do only, was give a"voucher" with the invitation that these guests handed over at the bar for a first free drink. (Evening food was provided). It seemed the best way to be a little bit generous but keep control of the bill which we then paid in the morning.

What bar.
Guests arrive at the reception, fizz, soft and canapes. We also had beer and pimms.
Wine with the meal.
Champagne for the toasts.
After the meal, extra wine and beer put on the tables and soft drinks.

Just how much can people reasonably drink?

We had a free bar thanks to the generosity of my father-in-law, but I don’t think it’s generally expected and I’m happy to pay my own way. That said, a lot of people, many years since, still comment positively on the free bar, and people do spend a lot to attend a wedding, so if I could afford it, I would consider it (certainly up to a limit).

Free bar is normal for me, all the (40+) weddings I've been to have been a free bar. BUT I do not think it is an issue as long as people are aware (and so can plan their spending).

Where I am from you are begging for trouble if you offer a free bar. Nearly all the weddings I have been to have been wine and beer provided only. Sometimes a speciality cocktail or two. Often champagne for toasts.

We had wine at the table and then a cash bar

Sadly, there are way too many CF these days, even within families, who will be necking alcohol like it's going out of fashion, just because it's free. You could end up with a bill for thousands of pounds if you have a free bar. Even putting a set amount behind the bar is risky, because the first to the bar could order triple scotches or several drinks to last the evening, leaving later people with nothing.

were getting married. Reception is in a lovely pub - we aren’t doing drinks as we simply don’t have the budget for it.

Lucky you Dragonscaledaisy.