AIBU to not provide a free bar at our wedding?

[Gettingmarried27eek]

I'm getting married next year. Just wanted to hear your thoughts on whether you'd expect a free bar at the venue?

I've been to many weddings over the years, some have a free bar, most don't. I'm not a huge drinker so am always happy to buy my own at weddings.

We do have wine at the tables to have with the meal and champagne for the toasts.

Does this seem reasonable? Many thanks all!

I have never been to a Wedding without a free bar in 70 years . Most of them though have had a time limit of around 10.30pm . I am in Australia .

It was a few years ago now but we had wine on the table and then gave each guest 2 (or it may have been 3) vouchers as a “wedding favour” on the table to exchange at the bar for a drink. So they did have some on us but it wasn’t totally open! My guests appreciated the gesture :-) Our wedding party had an open voucher though so they had drinks on us all night!

I work in hospitality in northern Ireland and have probably worked at over 100 weddings and have never seen a free bar. A bottle of white and red wine at the table then tea/ coffee after the meal and a glass of champagne for the speeches or as a welcome drink seems to be the norm. Although these are getting less common due to the price of everything.

I do events alot are weddings some are on tab some are not it's personal preference at the end of the day.

I would just do what you plan to do and enjoy your day.

I think an evening free bar is not now expected. Previously the event was a celebration for close friends or a bit if a party afterwards rather than a tiktok event. Times change.

However, i think that if people have spent the equivalent of a holiday - travel, hotel and present to just attend, then giving them a glass of prosecco and no wine with the meal is, frankly, rude.

I’ve never attended a wedding with a free bar .

A friend of mine actually went to a wedding a few weeks back , her husband’s cousin .
There was a free bar & a couple of guests got hammered, 1 made a show of himself infact .
Some people just get carried away & drink too much , whereas they maybe not be at the bar so much if they’re paying themselves !!!

I’m with you on this. It is such an alien concept to me culturally to have guests pay so we often choose venues where we can provide our own drinks/alcohol, but if this is the norm for others then I guess it’s not a problem.

I think don't post any photos is reasonable.
We didn't have this rule but I can understand a couple wanting.to be the first to share the news they had got married.

Id have been furious if someone had announced my pregnancy or engagement on social media, for example. I don't mind with events and think it's quite flattering.

People don't have to attend hen dos or weddings. I think standard rules are those attending hens/stags split some of the costs for bridge and groom, whether that's accommodation, activities, meals.
Costs have got ridiculous going on week-long holidays and the like. That said I've mostly been to ones where's it's been a day and evening, occasionally staying over somewhere cheap to avoid travelling home after.

I think brides should in turn foot the bill for everything wedding party needs on the day: accommodation, dresses, hair and makeup, transport. I know some brides demand bridesmaid wear particular dresses and expect the bridesmaid to pay for it themselves!

I have been to both. I had a free bar but I think its not so common now. I have been to weddings with very little food or big gaps with a bar, and its never pretty. People drinking on empty stomachs all day can get messy.Make sure you feed people well and have the welcome drink. Wine on tables tea and coffe. People very rarely complain if well fed. I think its perfectly ok to have a paying bar. Unless you asked for eyewateringly expensive gifts or cash.

Just take a look through the thread rather than expect others to do more work for you 🙄

People take the mickey when something is free in my experience. My friend provided a selection of free drinks including soft drinks, before we sat down,, as well as champagne. There was alcohol/ soft drinks on the table, then we bought our own. There were only 60 ish guests . It was a beautiful venue

I’m old and been to lots of weddings. Never been to one with a free bar.

Why the heck should I when that poster is complaing that I didn’t respond to her post. Is there an obligation to respond to people’s posts. Are you her twin or something? There’s some right cheeky mares on here, rolling your eyes at me!

Oh I see it’s you!! You think it’s my job to search out your post because you’re whining I ignored it!! I should have known it was you!

And what the fuck do you mean by ‘more’ work. The only work here is you and you’re hard work!

My MIL is an alcoholic so we didn't pay for any alcohol for our wedding! I think we paid for cups of tea too go with the afternoon teas we'd provided...

You havent understood. You asked ME a question about my free bar. I took the time to respond with the information you asked for which you ignored and continued to state the very thing I had answered to the contrary over and over.

youre not obliged to do anything. You’re being extremely rude though.

And so are you! I don’t keep tabs on who asked me what but it appears you do. I don’t put that much importance on my posts that I expect responses to them.

YOU ASKED ME. YOU QUOTED MY POST AND ASKED ME A QUESTION. I HAVENT ASKED YOU ANYTHING

Do stop shouting please.

Whatever.

Very odd if you ask me. Fancy being that riled up over nothing you end up posting in block capitals.

I can multitask.

if people are paying flights, hotels to attend a free bar or amount behind the bar i think fair enough

I organised a Wedding on a tight budget within a month and didn’t have a free bar I had it in a Labour club where drinks were cheaper than pubs . I had champagne for the toast

It really does depend on your budget, and who is paying for the wedding?
My niece married last year.
My Sister and BIL paid for the majority of the wedding.

They had fizz for welcome drinks and wine on the tables.
Also pretty little wooden tokens with our names on, to exchange for three drinks each at the bar.

It's not unusual for a free drink to be provided to everyone for a toast to the bride and groom but a free bar at a wedding is financial suicide!