AIBU to not provide a free bar at our wedding?

[Gettingmarried27eek]

I'm getting married next year. Just wanted to hear your thoughts on whether you'd expect a free bar at the venue?

I've been to many weddings over the years, some have a free bar, most don't. I'm not a huge drinker so am always happy to buy my own at weddings.

We do have wine at the tables to have with the meal and champagne for the toasts.

Does this seem reasonable? Many thanks all!

I’ve only ever been to one wedding with a free bar and that was just for daytime guests (of which there were around 30). Once the evening reception started the bar reverted to a paid one.

How many pints did they want? 5 pints at £8 a pop wouldn’t break the bank for a guest in your privileged circles.

I’ve only been to weddings with a free bar but honestly would rather pay and the couple could save some money

You could for eg. offer a free bar but say once the tab gets to eg. 1000GBP, paying kicks in

Have a lovely day - sounds like a great chilled wedding!

It’s entirely up to you. We have wine & cocktails on tables plus a couple of kegs of our favourite beer/cider but once they were finished people bought their own. I definitely wouldn’t expect a free bar at a wedding.

Only paid bar weddings I went to involved people taking the pee and getting off their faces then fighting or doing something stupid. Another wedding had an amount put behind the bar and my gran had one small glass while greedy uncles family had a table full of beers and wines. It brings out the worst in people. sparkling wine,or orange juice is fine and if you or your new hubby wishes to buy someone a drink then do so x

Urgh sorry selected the wrong option- voted u r being unreasonable by accident.

Sounds like a good idea.

The only weddings I’ve been to with an open bar are in Greece, where booze is much much cheaper.
At a UK wedding I’d only expect to have a welcome drink, a toast, and a glass of wine with dinner.
I'm getting married in winter and that’s what we’ll be providing. You could offer one free drink with a drinks token if you had the extra budget.

My first wedding we provided a free bar. My second wedding we put £2000 behind the bar and when it was gone the guests bought their own.

I think wine, beer and soft drinks need to be free and flowing and then you can have a paid bar for spirits. I have only ever been to one wedding where we’ve had to pay for drinks side from welcome and toast. There has always been free flowing fizz at the reception followed by wine and beer.

I got married 35 years ago and my parents paid for the bar so yes we did have a free bar.

If I were getting married now I'd pay for soft drinks only so the children and drivers were catered for but anyone who wanted alcohol would need to pay for themselves.

What we did have which was remarked on was a water boiler and tea and coffee so people could make a hot drink.

We had a free bar with no limits! I don’t drink but I wanted our guests to not have to think about paying

to add- we had no drama at all and everyone was very well behaved!

Ive been to weddings where everyone has X drinks tokens for a limited range of drinks eg certain wine, soft drinks beer but not cocktails or expensive wines

That can work well, especially if you have buffet or unallocated seating.

I have an American friend who says all American weddings are a free bar. Is it a culture difference. Where we live in Ireland a free bar would bankrupt who ever was paying for it😂

I’ve never been to a wedding where you had to pay for drinks either?

reminds me of that scene in Gavin & Stacey where Nessa (Ruth jones) greet her guests and says order what you like but pay for it at the bar 😂

A free bar would be a bit lost on us as we don't drink much. As long as there's plenty of food I'd be ok!

I’ve never been to a wedding with a paid bar! But, if the budget doesn’t stretch that far, so be it. Alcohol isn’t necessary to celebrate a bridge and a groom!

Totally reasonable, although one issue which I'd never complain about but since you've asked: I'm tea-total for health reasons, I'm happy to buy my own drinks, but it does piss me off when the alcohol drinkers get free wine with the meal, and free champagne for the toast, but I have to buy everything that isn't water! Especially given a couple of glasses of coke or juice or even a nice non-alcoholic wine, would probably be cheaper than one glass of wine! Please have something non-acholic on the tables too!

Definitely ok not to have a free bar OP. If you have folks staying it might be nice to stick a few quid behind the bar for those to have a nightcap after the formal party is over but by no means required.

We had a free bar at ours (beer and wine, including sparkling only, no spirits) but only because a) lots of guests had to travel, b) we could afford it and c) we had it in a part of the country that we considered to be excellent value for money. All these points are somewhat linked and we probably still spent less than if we’d got married near where we live.

The only other wedding I’ve been to with a free bar was in the US.

In one of my updates I've said we are providing soft drinks for those that don't want alcohol (me included!)

We had a free bar - got married a fair trek away so it seemed the right thing to do for our guests. They did a grand job of drinking it practically dry.

Nope, people will go get a drink put it down half empty forget where they put it and just go get more. Your wedding day will be super expensive anyway so put it towards YOUR honeymoon. The day is about your happiness and not other peoples. Enjoy

That’s perfectly reasonable, congratulations and enjoy every minute of your day x