To be upset DGP's are taking DC on holiday?

[madderthanapissedonchicken]

Posting for others opinions on this as I’m not sure if I’m being unreasonable.

my DP’s are having my 2 DC for the weekend next month, while myself and DP are away.

I was told today that they have booked to take them away for the weekend.

I’m in 2 minds, as obviously this is nice of them to do it & DC will enjoy it BUT I also would have preferred to have been asked and not told.

a while ago DP’s wanted to take DS away, and I was worried about it him being away, wasn’t going to say yes, then spoke to DP’s and agreed. So I’m not sure why they wouldn’t ask this time? Or if they thought because they are babysitting anyway that it didn’t matter where?

would this upset you or would you be ok with it?

They are good enough to look after your kids for a whole weekend but not good enough to take them away? What’s the logic?

Because you said yes last time?

Whats your worry? If I trust my children with anyone I trust them completely.

It depends.
Under the age of 5, wouldn't be comfortable. Above 5, ok.
Grandparents fit and active, wouldn't mind.
Frail or older, no.

Going abroad, wouldn't be happy
UK, I wouldn't mind

Yeah I don't get your point really... unless they're taking them to Australia or something? Either youre happy for them to look after them or not? It will be nice for the children - I loved it when my GP took us away!

If they’re doing you and massive favour and having the kids whilst you’re on holiday then I don’t think it’s really up to you what they do with them so long as it’s safe and age appropriate.

Where are they taking them?

Either you trust them to take care of the kids or you don't.

I think you’re being ridiculous.

Is it a control thing for you or do just not trust the grandparents to
look after their grandchildren?

Sounds great - what is the problem ?

They are doing a nice and generous thing. I’d be delighted

Either you trust them to look after them or you don’t

location doesn’t matter

Your DPs are doing you and DH a huge favour with childcare so you can have a child free weekend away - I don’t think you can then decide what they do during this time.

If you trust your DPs to look after your DCs then it should be the same wherever they are. They’d be no more at risk if they were away or at home. I wouldn’t want them going on a long haul flight and a big trip or anything like that but a few days away is totally fine. You’ve said your DCs will enjoy it so there’s no issue really.

I can absolutely understand why you would have wanted to be consulted first, especially if your DC are small. But if you you think you would have agreed, and are otherwise happy about it, I wouldn't have any kind of confrontation over it.

What difference does it make whether they’re at home or somewhere else?

A coastal location in the UK, a few hours away from home.

like I say, it is very nice of them to do. I just would have thought that before booking you’d say are you happy with this? I couldn’t imagine booking a trip to take someone’s children without ok’ing t
with the parents.

the reason I wasn’t sure about the previous trip is just because of more risk being away - swimming pool, sea etc. some may see that as unreasonable, but my brain worries about these things! 😖

DC’s are 6 and 4

If you trust them to look after them when you’re away then I can’t see why them being elsewhere would make any difference. They'll all have a lovely time.
unless there’s some massive issue you’re keeping quiet like they can actually only function with carers coming in daily, have no mobility so couldn’t safely keep up with the kids then where they are staying should have no bearing on how they look after them

I'd be delighted that my DC were having a lovely treat while I was enjoying myself. I'd be delighted and appreciative that my parents were going to this extra effort to make my DC happy. I'd be completely relaxed about it, because if I couldn't trust my parents to take my DC away for the weekend, I wouldn't trust them to look after them while I went away myself.

I really can't see the issue.

You were happy for them to babysit while you do you but now you have issues because they've planned something nice.

yABU.

But your going away? Why shouldn’t they do the same with the children you’ve asked them to have, or is it all on your terms only?

I think they should have told you. So you can pack the right stuff, prepare the kids etc. It’s just courtesy to you as well.

OP in the real world, it’s normal to have a quick chat before doing this trip with young grandchildren. People here just like to be contrary.

If I trusted people to have my kids for the weekend I trust them to do what they feel is safe with them.

My parents would definitely ask before they arranged something like this. But saying that, I don’t think they would take my kids away without me. My mum worries at the park about losing the kids or them
hurting themselves. She always says that she feels the weight of looking after the grandchildren much heavier than the weight of looking after her own kids way back then. I’d be ok with it I think, but they probably wouldn’t do it.

My in-laws I wouldn’t be happy for them to look after the children anywhere so they don’t.

In short, it’s a nice gesture but yes I would expect to be asked (or checked with I guess) first.

Dont see issue. Especially since in uk.

Is it the driving you have an issue with?

I wouldn’t be too happy either, with a long car journey, open water, crowds etc. It’s not the same as being at home where you know all the risks. I’d be worried while away even tho I do trust my parents. My kids are same age and it’s hard work always watching them, more so in a busy coastal resort. Having said that I think I do worry too much and I’m sure they’re be fine. But I can’t help how I feel.