To be upset DGP's are taking DC on holiday?

[madderthanapissedonchicken]

Posting for others opinions on this as I’m not sure if I’m being unreasonable.

my DP’s are having my 2 DC for the weekend next month, while myself and DP are away.

I was told today that they have booked to take them away for the weekend.

I’m in 2 minds, as obviously this is nice of them to do it & DC will enjoy it BUT I also would have preferred to have been asked and not told.

a while ago DP’s wanted to take DS away, and I was worried about it him being away, wasn’t going to say yes, then spoke to DP’s and agreed. So I’m not sure why they wouldn’t ask this time? Or if they thought because they are babysitting anyway that it didn’t matter where?

would this upset you or would you be ok with it?

They're going next month so have plenty of notice to pack the right stuff. Not sure what preparation the kids need apart from "when you go to gran and grandads they're taking you to the seaside" job done.
I think they are doing a nice thing and you obviously trust them so just enjoy it.

I think it's lovely that they want to take their grandchildren away and if I were you I'd be very grateful! Surely if you're going away and leaving your children with them, you must trust them to look after the children properly?

I am a bit fed up of seeing posts about grandparents on here. They can’t do right for doing wrong. They’ve been asked to babysit and they’re making the most of their time. Don’t ask in future if there’s going to be a long list of rules, it’s driving me mad!

Thank you this is exactly it. I feel there are more risks when they are away. I will be more worried about them than if they were at home. But I know I worry about them quite a bit so it could be a me problem.

Before he died far too young, my FiL and MiL took our two away twice in the summer holidays, each time for a week. The children had a wonderful time, got to know their grandparents better, (they didn't see them often because of distance) and still remember those times with their grandparents many years later.

I think they should mention it first also . It’s one thing for your dc to stay at their grandparents, in familiar surroundings, and another to stay elsewhere. Also, out of courtesy, they should have checked with you first, partly so you knew where your kids were actually going to be.

Thank you, yes I think I would have agreed so was reluctant to say anything as I am not at all ungrateful for them looking after them.
I’m just trying to make sense of this uncomfortable feeling of worrying and feeling like they should have mentioned before booking

If you’re that fussed, forego your ‘adults only’ jollies and take your kids away yourselves!

Why aren’t you going away all together?

I would have trusted my parents with my children's lives and if I didn't I wouldn't have let them care for them. Don't you trust your parents?

You either trust them to look after your kids or you don't.

If you do, then trust their judgement that what they're doing with them is appropriate/fun.

If you don't (for whatever reason that may be), why are they having your kids in the first place?

If they have poor judgement, are too old/frail to look after them etc then it doesn't matter where they are in the country (or even the world), they shouldn't be looking after them. If they're fab GPs doing a great job, then don't micro manage and trust that they know what they're doing.

Ok it’s a risk issue, does this mean you don’t ever take them away? Would it not be healthy for them to go?

or do you take them away but feel the grandparents aren’t capable, but can only manage in their home?

But there's no such thing as 'knowing all the risks' wherever you are.

And to be fair, I'm fairly sure that, being parents themselves, they may well be aware of the risks of being in a coastal location

Gosh I thought you were talking about adult DC at first, OP, but 6 and 4 is very young and I would absolutely want it to be run past me first.

And I’m usually the first to call out overly anxious parents and micro managing of time with GPs. YANBU.

It’s really awful.
Sounds like they put a lot of thought into what their GC would like to keep them busy and entertained, too.

Thank you. That’s what I thought and would do the same if I was looking after my brothers DC. I wouldn’t just tell their parents that I was taking them away, I’d say we’re thinking of going X the weekend there with us if that’s ok with you. Wouldn’t make it into a big deal but just feel like out of courtesy id run it past them first

I think it’s nice of them but they should have checked with you first.

You’re still alive. They’ve managed with small children before. You were one once unless there’s a back story that you think they have dementia or something.

You either trust them or don't. They are having them for the weekend anyway, it's nice that they've planned a trip away with them.

It probably didn't occur to them that they had to ask permission.

They did tell OP surely, that’s why she made the thread?

OP of course they should have ran it past you especially with the children being so young.

I woild do that even if I was just taking my nieces to a larger shopping centre.

Nice of them to do but they absolutely should have asked if it was ok first.

I always ask, even if just taking dgc on a visit to a nearby attraction. DS and DDIL invariably say yes, but it just seems polite to ask. I certainly wouldn't arrange an overnight trip without clearing with parents first.

Yes maybe that was it. Like I said in the OP it could be that as they are babysitting they thought it didn’t matter where they did it.
I can see it from their point of view.
it just isn’t how I would have gone about it with someone else’s children. But I now it is coming from a good place, and is very kind of them to do do.
I’ll need to work through my uncomfortable-ness and worry of the situation. Fair enough others think it’s unreasonable, but I can’t help worrying

Your kids are very young, you clearly trust your parents if you’re leaving your kids with them for the weekend?! I think it’s a lovely thing to do and you’re very lucky.

I’m a grandma and I wouldn’t dream of booking without discussing with the parents first. It’s a completely different ball game taking them away.