To be upset DGP's are taking DC on holiday?

[madderthanapissedonchicken]

Posting for others opinions on this as I’m not sure if I’m being unreasonable.

my DP’s are having my 2 DC for the weekend next month, while myself and DP are away.

I was told today that they have booked to take them away for the weekend.

I’m in 2 minds, as obviously this is nice of them to do it & DC will enjoy it BUT I also would have preferred to have been asked and not told.

a while ago DP’s wanted to take DS away, and I was worried about it him being away, wasn’t going to say yes, then spoke to DP’s and agreed. So I’m not sure why they wouldn’t ask this time? Or if they thought because they are babysitting anyway that it didn’t matter where?

would this upset you or would you be ok with it?

And yes of course they should have checked with you first. Totally different looking after small children in a home and in a holiday environment. The children are very young also.

They will indeed do so. But you're not.

If you let them get away with this, you are setting this precedent. They can take your children anywhere they like, and do anything they choose with your children, without asking, and you will be silent about it. I wouldn't be comfortable with that.

You're anxious which is normal and okay but unless your parents are of an age where looking after kids is too much for them, wave them off with a smile on your face.

Your parents have managed to bring up at least one fully functioning child into adult hood and the dangers now are no different to when they had a young family.

My last Grandparent died over 30 years ago but I have the best memories, especially when I was left in their care for the weekend going to the beach, making cakes, eating ice cream etc. Let your kids make memories, your parents won't be in their lives for that much of their lives.

Considering op is on here bitching about her parents babysitting for free if she wants her rules she can hire a sitter and pay for it herself

In that case, they probably shouldn't be left to watch them for an entire weekend no matter where they are.

Because OP is on here naturally worried, as all decent parents would be, about her very young children being taken arbitrarily to a strange destination without her consent and with no discussion at all.

Fixed your comment for you.

Why are you pretending going on holiday, driving with very young children, going to a strange holiday destination with very young children with no discussion, input or agreement from their parents is the same thing as watching them at your well known home?

Really, why would you try to make this comparison? It's so obviously nonsensical - what prompted you to try to pretend this is a fair comparison?

Have a chat to them about your worries, hopefully they will be able to reassure you?

Surprised by the responses you're getting.

I definitely think running it past the parents first would be the normal thing to do? Just as a heads up? Its changed the game a bit and increased the level of "risk" (being around water etc). I'm sure they'll be absolutely fine but yes, I think you should have been included in the conversation.

Yes, it would have been nice to be asked rather than told.

If you trust you parents, they are healthy, keep the kids safe, are good drivers (assuming they are driving yo destination) and are good with the kids. It will be great for both parties. I wish my two had that kind of relationship with their grandparents.

Do you realise most accidents happen in the home? There is a simple solution to this - don’t go on your weekend away and don’t ask DPs to have your children in future. You really are being very controlling and VVU.

No issue at all but I’d expect them to have mentioned it but not because they have to ask given they already babysit without issue, It sounds great, they’ll have a lovely time. As will you on your break. Relax!

This. If you've asked someone to babysit, it's on your home turf or theirs. You know you've sorted what's needed. You'll know they know how to make the necessary safety accommodations for young kids. You know the journey/mode of transport. Who they are likely to mix with.

How very weird not to tell you. No family member I trust with my young kids would do this, and I trust them completely.

That is fabulous. It is better than two day trips for them all.
Give your advice re sun screen and inside during midday sun. Offer some pointers on how never to allow them in change rooms/toilets alone and remind your kids to listen and stay with Granny and Pop.
They will be happy.
Most grandparents would have ran it past you first, tbh.
But most parents would agree to 4 a d 6 year old going to seaside for a weekend with GP.

But you could leave them for the weekend and they decide to take the kids to the swimming pool or to a beach for the day? Would you expect them to be asking you before doing that? The kids are in their care so they can surely decide an activity?

I'm sure someone has already pointed out (although it was in the OP) that this trip is still in the future. Her parents have told her now and I doubt very much whether OP has already packed the kids' things.

How miserable are you, why are you so annoyed that they want to take your dc away. They were looking after them anyway, l think its a lovely thing to do. What is up with you? Are you jealous of their relationship with your dc? Surely you want your kids to have a great time while you are away...Live and let live, life is too short. Let your dc make lots of memories...

I think it’s an excellent idea. There will be lots of new things and places for them all to do and see which means they won’t be stuck in the GPS house with the Kids getting a bit bored which is when they will start to miss you. With any luck they will be so busy and tired out at the end of the day that they will cope better with you being away.

Can we assume from this post that you were at greater than average risk of drowning during your own childhood when you were yourself in your parents' care?

I wouldn't like nor accept this.
You have agreed one thing and they have changed the arrangement without the very basic curtesy of checking what you think.

If that is the cost of having them looked after, then the price is far too high.

Staying at home and looking after two small children that need supervision, is vastly different to a new place several hours away that involves a busy holiday spot, beaches etc.

I wouldn't be peaceful which would completely defeat the purpose of the weekend.

I think there is something extremely presumptuous and high handed about doing this, as if they don't have to consult you.

Not a chance anyone like that would be taking my children anywhere.

I will admit that we never had a weekend away ever, when my children were young.
We survived.