Husband …we are not shopping today ..Aibu ?

[inkyspells]

Today me and my OH are going for drinks and food in a city around 30 mins train from our city.
I am at a concert on Friday and there’s a shop that has a top I’m looking for (we don’t have the shop in our city ) I plan on wearing it for the concert.
I checked and it’s in stock
So I said I’m just gonna pop in and grab it
He said “no we aren’t shopping today ,your off work all week ,go and get it another day “
I told him I know we aren’t shopping ,I just want this specific top.
Im literally walking past the shop to get to the area with the pubs.
So now I’m gonna have to go back tomorrow (1 hour travel there and back ,plus another train fare”

Aibu to be a bit annoyed ?
I asked him again and he went in a mood so I just said fine il go another day.

Quite.

Aibu to be a bit annoyed ?
I asked him again and he went in a mood so I just said fine il go another day.

Yes, YABU to be a bit annoyed.

You should be fuming with yourself for being such a martyr.

All this could've been solved with an eye-roll and you popping in to grab the top.

He could've carried on walking and you could've met him after if he really couldn't wait 10 minutes.

Surely you aren't going to be doormat and let him dictate this to you? Go to the shop and get your top - who the fuck does he think he is telling you 'No' like you're a child?? He clearly doesn't give a shit about the inconvenience it will cause you to come back another day - it is completely illogical not to do it when you're already there.

OMG! It's the poster with the fiancé - and then newly-wed husband - who got drunk and ignored her on holiday/honeymoon, preferring to socialise with the other hotel guests.

You're going to have to learn to just do whatever it is you want to do, @inkyspells, because he's never going to consider you or give you 'permission'.

Why on earth would you do a one hour round trip tomorrow again when you can just go into the shop & buy the top? I'm baffled. How much would the train tickets cost you tomorrow to go to the shop you're walking past? What if it's not in stock in your size tomorrow? Sunday is a popular shopping day.
If he has such a major problem with waiting for you whilst you find & buy the top, just say 'why don't you go ahead, get the drinks set up & get a table & I'll see you there?'

Who made him top dog? (See what I did there?)

But he doesn't have to go in! He can go ahead while you pop in the shop and by the time he has ordered a couple of drinks for you both you'll have caught up with him.

Oh. I remember the OPs previous threads.
@inkyspells why do you continue to post on MN complaining about your husband?
It's starting to seem a little fantastical.

He mostly doesn't want to do anything with you on a weekend, so I'm presuming this must be something he wants to do for himself? Your honeymoon was cancelled because he had gambled away the money to pay for it? Yet somehow you still ended up going on honeymoon, where he spent all his time chatting to and drinking with other people, ignoring you, to the extent that he was throwing up, you had to put him to bed, and spent your days alone? He promises to change and carries on with the bad behaviour.

I don't understand why you married him in the first place, but I certainly don't understand why it's ok for him to do whatever he wants but you're considering "obeying" him when he says you can't pop in to a shop you are passing anyway.

If this is all real, the marriage has no prospects of succeeding. You will get more and more miserable, he will get more and more controlling and you will never be able to save up for anything nice as he will gamble away all your money. Whatever you do, make sure your contraception is watertight and do not have children with this awful, awful man. You can do better.

Oh it’s not is it?

🤦‍♀️

So get your top and let him kick off. Hes not the boss of you.

Yup 😟

I didn't realise it was this one either or I wouldn't have bothered replying.

But I was confused at her calling him her husband in the thread title and 'OH' in the OP.

Why are you asking? Just go get the top. My husband wouldn't dream of telling me what I can/can't do (and vice versa) and we actively plan our lives to make grabbing things easier. I.e. if I had planned to get the top, husband would have probably suggested going as we walked past to save time and effort.

He's completely unreasonable but also, you're an adult...just go for it. He's in a mood anyway!

Unreasonable selfish twat. Why are you putting up with this?

Raise your bar and bin this man child.

Go to the shop as you walk past or walk back, and meet him at the pub or at the car/ station after. Simples.

Surely he can function without you for 10 mins. Also, you're not 10, if you need to run an errand, you need to run an errand

YABU for thinking you need his permission. Just tell him you're going to go in and get it and will catch up with him in the pub in 15 minutes.

He/she is definitely a troll at this point 🤣

Why does he get to decide? Understandable if its out of the way or makes you late but if you are walking past the shop just go and do it! He could head to the pub and you could just catch him up there after, its not like he also has to go

Just go anyway? Why on earth are you doing what he says?

I’d just say off you go to the pub, by yourself.

It’s so annoying being married to a dickhead.

Asked DH about an event we have coming up.

Ideal time to discuss, quiet Sunday at home?

Nope! We’ve already texted, it’s already sorted as he mentioned it once, the first time. During the week, when I was at work. No need for me to ask about it again. He has just decided that’s what’s happening, end of story.

I’ve said I don’t want to go, now he’s pissed off.

Why can’t he just let you get the fucking top?

Just go. Do it as quickly as you reasonably can. Tell him he can walk ahead and you'll meet him at the pub if he prefers that to waiting outside for you or sitting on a bench or browsing nearby. It would be unreasonable to make a separate trip under the circumstances.

I'm with DH on this. My DD turns a day out in London into a major shopping event, by route-marching us through the planned events/food/sightseeing, so we can hop on a tube to the nearest massive mall. It is exhausting. For her, a day in London is not complete without 2 hours in Sephora.
You know, OP, that you will never just grab that top in the store, and leave. And so does your DH.

Why are the DH’s wants for their day out the only important thing though?

We don't know both sides here. I can certainly imagine this conversation happening after years of "I just want to pop in for one thing" turning into an exploration of everything available, every single time the couple go out. I can equally well imagine it as a control exercise by the DH.