Husband …we are not shopping today ..Aibu ?

[inkyspells]

Today me and my OH are going for drinks and food in a city around 30 mins train from our city.
I am at a concert on Friday and there’s a shop that has a top I’m looking for (we don’t have the shop in our city ) I plan on wearing it for the concert.
I checked and it’s in stock
So I said I’m just gonna pop in and grab it
He said “no we aren’t shopping today ,your off work all week ,go and get it another day “
I told him I know we aren’t shopping ,I just want this specific top.
Im literally walking past the shop to get to the area with the pubs.
So now I’m gonna have to go back tomorrow (1 hour travel there and back ,plus another train fare”

Aibu to be a bit annoyed ?
I asked him again and he went in a mood so I just said fine il go another day.

Yes why would anyone go along with that.

Do you often thwart his plans and are you 'just 10 mins' when you decide you must pop into a shop when you are going out for a meal and drinks? It sounds unreasonable, but if you have form for this I would be with him.

My DH gets distracted wanting to pop into particular shops or businesses that we 'are passing anyway' and he just wants to have a quick look, it's always I'll just be a minute, but he gets chatting and it drags on and on, it is infuriating.

I do stuff for my DH that I don’t particularly like and in some cases hate but that’s what love is! It’s what being part of a team is. It’s what ‘give and take’ is. I do it because it’s either in his best interest or it’s something I know will make him happy. However, if he didn’t reciprocate in ways that are meaningful to me, my goodwill would come to an abrupt end. Do you do stuff for him that you don’t particularly want to do? If so, it’s maybe time to rethink the balance of your relationship. Don’t walk a mile for someone who wouldn’t jump a puddle for you.

YABU for kowtowing to him.

Please go back and get the top, don’t let a man tell you what to do!

Ah, so it's all about him. And you are with him why? What makes him so special that you can't just pop in to a shop and buy a top? While we're on the topic, you're an adult, why do you need his permission? That would give me the ick.

I hate shopping too. But if my OH wanted to nip into a shop to quickly pick something up… to avoid him going out again later, then of course I wouldn’t stop him.

Your partner needs to grow up.

He’s a grown ass man he can go and settle himself in the pub ffs.

Course you are not BU!

Fair enough not all people like shopping, but this is a grab and go situation of 5 min, any reasonable partner would not be bothered! I’m sure on your usual shopping trips u go alone, so he should know is a one off. He sounds like a prick!

I’m sure there’s things he likes, that you don't, that you have to go along with, just to be a kind compromising partner?

Just run in and get the top op, don’t waste your day off going somewhere youve just walked past!

Buy it online ffs

You sound very bullied by him.
Why does he get to tell you to do anything.
Leave him there, buy the top, ho home.

It sounds very toxic snd controlling.
I hope you don't have children and aren't married.

Get out of this unhealthy controlling relationship.

He is not shopping, you are.

The fact that it seems you are reluctant/wary to just go anyway and to not feel able to just say to him you are being silly, I am going to nip in, concerns me more than anything to be honest…

I hate shopping too, and if I thought I was going for drinks and dinner and then found out shopping was involved I'd be pretty unhappy. He probably knows it won't just be a quick pop-in. I'm guessing he's gone shopping with you before. However, as others have said, he is not the boss of you. He can do something else while you're shopping.

@GrumpyPanda You can’t on the iphone app.

Is he always such a controlling prick??

Dont ask, tell him.

How would that help with the controlling dh?

This. It is ludicrous to even entertain wasting time and money going back another day when you are going past the shop.

My DH hates shopping too. He would be quite happy to wait outside or go to the pub and get the drinks in.

If your DH goes into a mood just ignore him and reconsider your relationship.

Yeah appease the controlling arse of a DH, if he gets upset about her seeing family or friends, then just talk to them on the phone?

Anything else she should do to keep him happy?

I think unless he's literally got you on a lead then you can go wherever you like

Going against the flow here. Both my husband and I hate shopping. My husband more than me. It has been known for it to make him have a migraine!
You are going out together. If the shop is very close to where you are going and you don’t need to try it on and you don’t just want to look at other stuff then ok but otherwise it is not ok. Can’t you get it delivered?
I refuse to go away with a couple we are friends with because her holiday always includes ‘popping in’ to nearly every shop we go past.

I can and I don’t pay.

I’d have got it, and said don’t be ridiculous. Tell you what, you can wait 15 minutes now, or you can do 1.5 hours solid of chores around the house tomorrow since I’ll have to drive all the way back. My time isn’t as worthless as you seem to think, so value it please. What’s your choice? 15 minutes waiting or <whole list of things needed to do at home>

I didn’t know how to vote because while your DH is very unreasonable, I think you listening to him and not picking up your top is also very unreasonable!

You should have just said you’re going and you’ll be back in 5.

Much much bigger problems here if you are scared of him.

There is no chance I would pay any attention to being told I couldn’t shop for it. I’d just tell him I’d meet him wherever you were heading and go and get the top.