Husband …we are not shopping today ..Aibu ?

[inkyspells]

Today me and my OH are going for drinks and food in a city around 30 mins train from our city.
I am at a concert on Friday and there’s a shop that has a top I’m looking for (we don’t have the shop in our city ) I plan on wearing it for the concert.
I checked and it’s in stock
So I said I’m just gonna pop in and grab it
He said “no we aren’t shopping today ,your off work all week ,go and get it another day “
I told him I know we aren’t shopping ,I just want this specific top.
Im literally walking past the shop to get to the area with the pubs.
So now I’m gonna have to go back tomorrow (1 hour travel there and back ,plus another train fare”

Aibu to be a bit annoyed ?
I asked him again and he went in a mood so I just said fine il go another day.

Could you not say, 'You're right. We are not shopping today. I am. See you there in ten minutes because I am going into that shop there to get one item. Mine's a large rose, see you in the pub.' I'm not massively into traipsing around the shops myself but if a family member wanted to pop in and get something it wouldn't feel like I could object because they are an individual who can make their own decisions. It made me wonder what else he forbids you from doing. Hopefully nothing, OP.

I really cannot understand why you married him. He was a cunt before you married, he’s still a cunt and he will always be a cunt. This is your life now, he will not change. The only thing you can do is leave him and make a life for yourself.

You don’t ask, you should just tell him if it really is where you are going today. He can wait in the pub.

I wonder if he has previous experience of you saying 'I'll only be 10 mins' and then shopping for over an hour.

Agree you should just veer off and buy ( not ‘grab’) the top.

i voted YABU, on the basis that yabu to listen to him, and ridiculous if you did go in a different day. As pp's have just said, tell him! either he can go ahead of you to the pub or you can leave 5 mins early and he catch you up if he physically doesn't want to go into the shop. He's not the boss of you!

Why are you pandering to this shite?

Unless there's history where you insist on stopping at shops every single time you go out together,which would be pretty insufferable, or you have a shopping addiction that is placing financial strain on the household, them he is unreasonable.

Me “ I’d like to get this particular top that I can’t find in our town “
My DH “ ok , I’ll sit on the husband seat in the shop / look at tech in another shop / go get a coffee “
Your DH is unreasonable

Basically this, it’s such a dramatic response that there
must be some backstory!

Yep that's how I have voted too.

Is he controlling in other ways?

Of course he's being unreasonable, but so are you for not just looking at him strangely then going in and quickly grabbing it? If he kicks off, then he deserves to be made fun of for acting like a clueless child. You're an adult. You can go into a shop.

you married this guy in June per another of your threads. He was a knob then and afterwards. Wtf

OP, you have been repeatedly posting threads about your husband’s appalling behaviour for a very long time.

You have been repeatedly told by everyone on here that he is a nasty, abusive, drunken, lying arsehole who treats you like shit on every possible level.

Despite everyone’s advice you not only didn’t leave him, but also went ahead with marrying him, at which point he spent your entire honeymoon leaving you on your own while he drank himself paralytic every single day.

He’s also a gambling addict who lies to you about the huge amounts of money he gambles
away. Including money he told you he’d spent on a holiday but had actually lost.

How many more times do you want to be told he’s a cunt?

Stop being a martyr, have some dignity and walk away. He doesn’t even like you, and he doesn’t make you happy. Ever.

Oh! Did you marry the Sergeant Major?

You’re not a child and don’t need his permission.

But OP will not come back to respond as per all other threads she started

I could not tolerate being controlled like this.

The moodiness - over you wanting to nip into a shop and buy a specific top - he's pathetic. This has control, control, control written all over it.

Absolute ICK.

Life is too short, OP. Too damn short.

Don't be ridiculous 🙄 you don't need his permission to go in a shop! He sounds like an arse and you're being a fool putting up with it!

Did you even think about letting him go on to the pub and meeting him there after you picked up your top? Everyone’s marriage is different; is he in the habit of “letting” or “not letting” you do things? You’re not unreasonable to be annoyed. But maybe next time stand up for yourself and tell him to fold his royal “We” five times and put it where the sun don’t shine.

Good grief, are you 12. Why is this even a thing - just get the top. This is beyond ridiculous

Does he always tell you what to do and you have to ask permission to do things, why do you put up with it

Why are you doing what he says?

Why are you being a doormat? He can't stop you going into the shop.

I voted YABU because why are you waiting for permission to go to a shop. It's not up to him. If he doesn't want to go in he can go and amuse himself elsewhere.

You are an adult and you can chose to go in a shop if you want to