Husband …we are not shopping today ..Aibu ?

[inkyspells]

Today me and my OH are going for drinks and food in a city around 30 mins train from our city.
I am at a concert on Friday and there’s a shop that has a top I’m looking for (we don’t have the shop in our city ) I plan on wearing it for the concert.
I checked and it’s in stock
So I said I’m just gonna pop in and grab it
He said “no we aren’t shopping today ,your off work all week ,go and get it another day “
I told him I know we aren’t shopping ,I just want this specific top.
Im literally walking past the shop to get to the area with the pubs.
So now I’m gonna have to go back tomorrow (1 hour travel there and back ,plus another train fare”

Aibu to be a bit annoyed ?
I asked him again and he went in a mood so I just said fine il go another day.

You ABU purely for allowing one grown ass adult to tell another i.e. you, what you can and can't do.

You are being unreasonable 100% by actually listening to him and not getting it. Wtf??? Why are you letting him control you? You are your own person. Honestly is this rage bait? It's working!

I feel like you're being unreasonable just for tolerating him tbh. Who does he think he is? Just go in and get it, screw him. Is he normally a controlling ass hole or is this a one off?

Well, like everyone else I am struggling to understand why you didn't just nip in the shop and get the top anyway.

I can imagine my DH objecting, but I would just tell him to get over himself, it'll only be a few minutes. If he came up with a reasonable objection (say they didn't have it in my size and I wanted to try different tops on) then I would probably give in - but not in the situation as you describe it ... Or is there more back story that you haven't told us?

Oh and if he continued to sulk afterwards I would DEFINITELY tell him to stop; no-one should have to put up with that sort of behaviour from a grown adult.

It sounds as if you need to be better at standing up for yourself @inkyspells .

Are you usually notorious when you actually get in a shop. I have friends who once in a shop will spend ages trying on, looking at other things and something that’s promised to be 10
minutes runs into 45 minutes. If you promise to be no longer than 10 minutes then pop in and he’ll just have to be moody but any time spent after that he has every right to get grumpy as the day wasn’t about shopping but already set as drinks and food. But like other have said. Catch him up. He can get the drinks in

Are you usually like me and say you will pop in for 'one thing' but actually spend a while in the shop? 😂

You really did back down and not get the top didn’t you? Unbelievable.

Be a grown ass adult and go and get the top. Why are you letting him order you about? Fuck that.

He's manipulative and has no respect for you.
He's controlling your choices and behaviour by making you feel uncomfortable by being in a "mood".
It's abusive....

This and only this.

He isn’t ‘shopping’, you are running an errand

YABU if you didn’t get the top today, and pandered to your D(ickhead) Husband.

My DH hates shopping, but would simply say ‘I will get the first round of drinks in the pub, while you pick up the top, what would you like to drink?’

There wouldn’t be any need for anything else to be discussed.

Surely doesn’t affect him if you nip in to buy it?

“You go ahead and get a table, I’ll catch up with you. I’ll have a white wine please”

He doesn’t hate shopping. He hates YOU shopping. If it was something for him, I doubt this would have been a discussion

So I said I’m just gonna pop in and grab it

Does he often struggle with the English language

What you said was a statement not a question.

I would correct him on this and if you are going out for drinks with people I would be making sure they all knew that he was expecting you to take 1/2 a day out of your time off to do something that would take you a few minutes

Did you comply?!?!?!

Don’t be a doormat and tell him “ I’m getting it now “ .

To be fair a lot of men are like that but as it was just popping in to pick up a specific item I think his response was a bit pathetic.

Wtf? What a weirdly controlling move from him

YABU to not just go and get the top! FFS! your husband will continue to be a sulker, if you continue to reward him (by giving him what he wants) for sulking. What kind if mindset do you have that let you to give in to him> 🤷‍♀️

I literally can't understand this. You need his permission why? I'd tell him I'm going..he doesn't need to join you. Don't see the problem x

As per previous threads. OP has disappeared. I’m sure she’ll create a new thread soon.

Sorry you are being too submissive!! Go and get the bloody top! He can wait outside or at the pub. You will be 10 mins top! (if you pardon the pun). He needs to get a grip and so do you if you allow this behaviour!

You’re being unreasonable because why are you letting him tell you ‘no’ are you 12?? I’d have told him to fuck right off unless you have form for buggering off shopping for hours which it doesn’t sound like tbh. Your husband is a prick.

Oh good Lod, just go in the shop and buy the top! Of course not do another trip!

Call them and ask if they can grab it for you so it's at the till if it'll make you feel better!