To be unreasonably upset with new bf

[Cordialpuneapples]

So new bf (50) knows I won’t tolerate gratuitous contact with an ex gf or partner unless for very good reason.
It’s a ‘me’ issue. He’s never given me reason to think he’s been unfaithful , indeed he is an amazing bf of five months.
Again, the issue is mine due to past trust issues in my life.
I have a strong ill g that he may have been in contact with his ex gf to collect some stuff that he needs but he hasn’t actually
Told me this as I’ve always said it’s a dealbreaker for me unless it’s necessary contact
She has this stuff , he needs it and can’t get it anywhere else . He could live without it but really needs and wants it.
AIBU here to finish things if he has indeed made contact with her, met her and collected these items?
all else is wonderful .. in fact it’s been a wonderful few months.
He broke up with her for unreasonable behaviour with other men.
ive had lots of therapy but was badly burnt by my exh. I feel triggered.
Thanks.

Way to much drama
ditch
move on

She has this stuff , he needs it and can’t get it anywhere else . He could live without it but really needs and wants it.
AIBU here to finish things if he has indeed made contact with her, met her and collected these items?

This poor guy needs to run far and fast - away from you. You do realise this is abusive, right?

I read what she said properly. Hence my response.

If he has collected his stuff, he should have told you. If he avoided telling you, it's possibly an act of deceit given how triggered by this you clearly are

Nope, if so it would have been an act of self-preservation on his part because OP is batshit crazy. Although, also crazy of him to put up with it.

If genders were reversed the responses would be the same as they are now.

This.

an EX of mine had an affair with his ex.

it doesn't mean I have had a hissy fit about any other partner speaking to their ex.

It's a 'you' thing and you need to deal with it. Not by dumping every man you go out with With if they contact their ex. But by not blaming the current partners infidelity.

It would be betterfor your partner if you did end the relationship. You are far too controlling.

You categorically cannot tell him who he can have contact with and who he can’t! It’s none of your business unless it crosses a certain line

Anyone who tried to tell me who I could or couldn't be friends with, or contact, would be unceremoniously sent packing!
Absurd in the extreme. I know you've been hurt before, but it's not his fault 🤷

OP, if you are still reading, something worrying me about your posts (aside from the fact that you seem to be trying to impose your will on your boyfriend) is the fact that your story doesn't make sense. I am saying this out of concern for you so please think about what I am saying - I know the damage that jealousy and paranoia can do to your mental health and your relationships and life in general.

You say he told you she had been in touch for advice, but you don't explain how you know he has seen her and collected the mystery stuff from her. You explicitly say he has not told you this.

So either you have read his messages, or you have constructed a paranoid fantasy. Both are really worrying signs that you are not coping in this relationship and are perhaps not very well.

Please seek some support. There is help out there - you don't have to live like this.

In the meantime I think you should probably cool things with your boyfriend, while you sort out your own mental health.

You should end it, you're clearly not in the right frame of mind to be in a relationship when you're being so unreasonable and controlling.