To be unreasonably upset with new bf

[Cordialpuneapples]

So new bf (50) knows I won’t tolerate gratuitous contact with an ex gf or partner unless for very good reason.
It’s a ‘me’ issue. He’s never given me reason to think he’s been unfaithful , indeed he is an amazing bf of five months.
Again, the issue is mine due to past trust issues in my life.
I have a strong ill g that he may have been in contact with his ex gf to collect some stuff that he needs but he hasn’t actually
Told me this as I’ve always said it’s a dealbreaker for me unless it’s necessary contact
She has this stuff , he needs it and can’t get it anywhere else . He could live without it but really needs and wants it.
AIBU here to finish things if he has indeed made contact with her, met her and collected these items?
all else is wonderful .. in fact it’s been a wonderful few months.
He broke up with her for unreasonable behaviour with other men.
ive had lots of therapy but was badly burnt by my exh. I feel triggered.
Thanks.

You sound completely unhinged. Have a word with yourself.

You sound very controlling. Why can’t he collect his stuff.

Are you a similar age to him?
You can’t dictate what a partner does or who he sees. You say you’ve had a wonderful few months. You can choose to carry enjoying it on or obliterate the relationship because you don’t want him to get his belongings.

Wasn’t it for a good reason though? He went to collect some stuff that he needs and can’t get anywhere else. Or was it not a good enough reason for you?

I had a problem with unnecessary contact between exes.. especially exes that treated one badly.

This is definitely a you problem, even if she treated him badly that has nothing to do with you and doesn’t give you a say on whether he can have contact, you just don’t want him to have any contact. You can have your boundaries but equally you can’t tell someone what to do

I don't think you're ready for a relationship, if I'm honest. What you're asking for comes across as quite controlling.
I would hate to be treated that way simply because an ex had treated my bf badly in the past. It's not fair to project someone else's actions onto a new relationship.
Quite frankly, if I were in that situation, I'd be gone. Relationships need trust, not control.