Another weekend and another drunken DP ‘performance’

[Heatwavefry]

I’ve had very broken sleep so I apologise in advance for any grammatical errors!!

There has been a trend over about a year now of DP going out once a month with friends and getting hammered, his behaviour when returning home has increasingly worsened though. We don’t live together but when he goes out he usually comes back to mine to stay for the weekend as I live centrally close to where the pubs are.

Last night, he returns about 1am and wakes me up asking if I can ‘see to him’. I say no and go back to sleep, he says he will sort himself out.

I hear loads of crashing about so am woken at least twice, and he says he’s sleeping on the sofa. After yet more noise, I go into the living room and he’s naked, there’s a massive wet patch on my sofa, which he said is because he ‘sorted himself out’ - he was still pissed at this point.

I go ballistic and tell him I want him gone first thing. He’s still on the sofa now. I am not overreacting here am I?! It’s my flat which I worked hard to afford and he treats it like this.

He sounds utterly repulsive.

OP, there are men out there who would have spent last night cooking dinner and washing up, and then gone to the supermarket with you and taken you to the cinema today. You can do so much better than this man. He might be better in the future, but there is a lot of time between now and the future. You can and should go and do things with other people in the meantime. And by the time he’s turned into a normal grown up man you’ll already be with someone else thank god.

Sack him off

Exactly this. DH has done the weekly shop this afternoon and then cooked dinner and it was really good.

Mind you I was told at your age more than once that I was too fussy with men and my standards were too high. My rely was that I’d rather be alone than with someone I wasn’t happy with.

I can't think of a single thing that could be classed as an overreaction to that behaviour. What a disgusting man.

Absolutely appalling behaviour 🤢. Total
lack of respect. If he’s like this now…..

This man is not lonely enough

This is disgusting

Massive wet patch from when he 'sorted him self out' it's not urine.

Pissing yourself drunk is at least an accident. This man purposely ejaculated on her sofa. Vileee

If I could type this a thousand times I would…..end it. It will only get worse and if this is him in a relatively new relationship, you are in for a lifetime of sadness and disappointment.

As a ex drug addict he is on cocaine the need to cum to sleep is well reported in men

I bet he's bloody grovelling, he knows he's fucked it.

I agree that I find how the request for sex was handled far worse and is far more serious than what he did afterwards. I'm not a woman but can certainly see it was totally inappropriate and shows bad things about his character if it happened as the OP described. I've never spoken to my wife or ex gfs like that no matter how drunk I was. Not even close tbh.

But being drunk and horny and relieving yourself in the absence of a woman just seems totally normal to me though. Yes he should have cleaned up, but he was wasted and people don't think about tidying up when they're wasted. Not ideal but I can say with near 100% certainty that the very nice husbands and boyfriends of most of the aggressive 'dump him' commentators here have done very very similar things. Often, in many cases. Don't think the ladies here know or understand their men very much tbh. Quite eye opening to see the reactions in this thread.

Just dump him quick. Lack of respect like this will only get worse.

I think I'd have thrown his clothes out the front door and have ejected him from the house. My only doubt would be whether I would have been wielding a rolling pin or a carving fork to encourage his departure. And he certainly wouldn't be keeping my key.

I think you need to end this relationship, get the key back. You are worth more than him.

Well I can say that my DH hasn’t ever behaved like this. Just because some men behave like this doesn’t mean that all do and it definitely doesn’t mean that the OP has to put up with the shitty behaviour of a man with a problem with alcohol.

Do you go out Fridays. If not I'd start, preferably minus him. He needs to be sent away with a flea in his ear. As it sounds like his drunken returns are a guaranteed ick if hes behaving like that. No one wants to try to 'sort out' someone too drunk to sort you in the process. We all know the drink can make people more needy. But this getting the hump and messing on sofa is not acceptable as a protest for perceived rejection. Let him just go when he wakes, don't offer breakfast or anything to appease him. He'll be upset, if he is tell him to go straight away. Some people cannot grow up@

Eww he’s fucking gross op what does he think you are sorting him out if he’s going do it you don’t do it on someone else’s sofa. He’s definitely not a keeper. No apology would be acceptable if he can’t handle his drink he should have gone home to his own bed or sofa. Disgusting little creature.

Hi, hope as of right now you’re single and loving it.

Because that guy sounds utterly disgusting.

Get rid of him. This will get worse.

If you think you're husband hasn't had a wank somewhere innapropriate or not cleaned up properly, ever, then you probably just don't know him as well as you think.

Which is fine. No need to know every minor detail about your partner's masturbation habits. And without knowing him myself of course there is a small chance you are correct. But generally speaking all the women here posting how disgusting this man is may very well be shocked at how their own man has behaved. Coming on a sofa is simply not shocking behaviour unless the shocked person is simply naive. It isn't good behaviour, not condoning it and most men would be embarrassed afterwards (as it sounds like OPs bf is), but it's just true that most men who drink have also likely made a mess somewhere awkward.

OP should tell him she doesn't like the behaviour, that bf shouldn't do it again, that she finds it disrespectful. If he KEEPS doing it then that would warrant the vitriol he is getting here. A one off drunken mistake is just that - no one got hurt, nothing serious happened, it's a spill of some bodily fluids somewhere that they wouldn't ideally be spilled (or should at least be cleaned up afterwards).

I'm a woman whose been married twice. Guess which husband was the vile drunk?

Hope you got your key back!