Another weekend and another drunken DP ‘performance’

[Heatwavefry]

I’ve had very broken sleep so I apologise in advance for any grammatical errors!!

There has been a trend over about a year now of DP going out once a month with friends and getting hammered, his behaviour when returning home has increasingly worsened though. We don’t live together but when he goes out he usually comes back to mine to stay for the weekend as I live centrally close to where the pubs are.

Last night, he returns about 1am and wakes me up asking if I can ‘see to him’. I say no and go back to sleep, he says he will sort himself out.

I hear loads of crashing about so am woken at least twice, and he says he’s sleeping on the sofa. After yet more noise, I go into the living room and he’s naked, there’s a massive wet patch on my sofa, which he said is because he ‘sorted himself out’ - he was still pissed at this point.

I go ballistic and tell him I want him gone first thing. He’s still on the sofa now. I am not overreacting here am I?! It’s my flat which I worked hard to afford and he treats it like this.

Unfortunately I cannot disagree with this.
Please don't let this vile person into your home again.

I wouldnt feel safe with this man. Safe men do not behave like this.

I despair of women sometimes. Why do we doubt ourselves that this behaviour is ok? The bar is set way too low. My DH has come home pissed before and missed the toilet when he puked. That was the only ever time in 13 years as I read him the riot act!!!! Whereas you’ve said his behaviour is bad every month for a year? Why are you putting up with it?

You're enabling him by cleaning it up. You should have stripped the sofa cushion and insisted he took it to a dry cleaner.

Tell your friend who thinks it's funny that she's welcome to him.

Dump him immediately!! Do not take him back.

I’m sure it IS real. Plenty of men are just like this. Makes me so glad I’m single!!

He's 31 and he still drinks like a 19 yo, thinks it's a good night when he comes home that drunk. I'm sure if you try you can find a man who behaves like an actual adult Op

I had an ex boyfriend shit himself after drinking, some of it leaked on my sofa. That was the end of the relationship funnily enough. He was an alcoholic.

Do you even need to ask if you’re being unreasonable. No one in their right mind would put up with this, get rid!

It isn't the disbelief that this lowlife would behave like this, it's that the OP would put up with it and not do something about it ie get rid.

This is utterly grim

Www.freedomprogramme.co.uk
Do it.

Is this really the life you want?
He's scum.

Disrespectful uncouth scum.

It is beyond sad that you would tolerate this after the first time it happened.

Find some self respect soon or you will end up with the most miserable life.

Decent men do not behave like that.
He's a lowlife.

Don't allow him to drag you down.
Very hard to get up and out of a situation when you choose scum for a partner.

Has he gone now @Heatwavefry.

Whilst I think what he did was awful you now have him not taking responsibility by claiming he has a “memory black out” which is also know as an alcohol problem and him not even cleaning up after himself properly.

Im hoping he has gone for your sake.

@Heatwavefry , this has continued for a year and his drunken behaviour seems to have worsened. What would you like to happen with this relationship now?

either way it’s disgusting

“See to him” Yikes! Are you his service wench? His concubine on irder for the night?

You are crazy to even be in a casual relationship with this wanker (sic).

😮

@Johnson85 "But having a wank and getting it on the sofa really doesn't seem that serious to me."

So do you regularly jizz on other people's sofas?

I would not have the air space for anyone whose level of respect for me - drunk or sober - in my life, nevermind with the consideration of having this person intimately in my life long term. I hope for you that this is the turning point for you in making decisions that lead you to a future containing kind, respectful, loving partners that treat you like an absolute queen. This manchild is not it. Truly.

The only thing I could think of when I read this was how little self respect you must have to want to stay in a relationship with this gross man.

Please want more for yourself.

@Heatwavefry

As we read here frequently "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time". This may not be the first time he's shown you who he is, but let it be the last. Getting drunk to the point of 'black out' regularly is a sure indication of alcoholism, even if it's binge drinking.

At the very least, if you aren't ready to make that final decision, demand your key off him. He has abused the privilege of entering your home on his own. Leaving 'bodily fluids' of any kind on someone else's possessions .due to being shitfaced is absolutely over the line, I don't care how drunk someone is.

You deserve better than someone who treats you so disrespectfully. Drunkenly waking you up to have you 'sort him out'? I ask you! And then to wank onto your sofa? Just NO.

Why anyone would think this was 'funny' is beyond me.

Yeah! ‘MN Waste-Man Disposal Unit’!

Might need an articulated lorry though.

I think this is all you can do - make it clear that you do not accept this any more. Then you can decide whether to rebuild a conditional relationship where he needs to behave better or accept that the behaviours you have seen ARE him and make a decision based on that.

My DH has got a bit too drunk more than a few times in years I’ve known him (34so far), although mainly long before we had kids, so not for 20years or so now. He never expected me to ‘come and see to him’ [🤢], nor did he sulk and leave deposits on the sofas. The ick would have been too strong if he’d spoken to me and behaved like this, so we wouldn’t still be together.

what a disgusting bastard