Another weekend and another drunken DP ‘performance’

[Heatwavefry]

I’ve had very broken sleep so I apologise in advance for any grammatical errors!!

There has been a trend over about a year now of DP going out once a month with friends and getting hammered, his behaviour when returning home has increasingly worsened though. We don’t live together but when he goes out he usually comes back to mine to stay for the weekend as I live centrally close to where the pubs are.

Last night, he returns about 1am and wakes me up asking if I can ‘see to him’. I say no and go back to sleep, he says he will sort himself out.

I hear loads of crashing about so am woken at least twice, and he says he’s sleeping on the sofa. After yet more noise, I go into the living room and he’s naked, there’s a massive wet patch on my sofa, which he said is because he ‘sorted himself out’ - he was still pissed at this point.

I go ballistic and tell him I want him gone first thing. He’s still on the sofa now. I am not overreacting here am I?! It’s my flat which I worked hard to afford and he treats it like this.

So he has selective amnesia and he couldn’t even be arsed to properly clean up his own mess. What a prince.

Please get rid of him, he has shown you that he has no respect for you or your home. This is your life now for as long as you allow it to be.

Imagine waking up this morning to a man who brings you coffee in bed and asks what you want to do today. You go downstairs and he’s put a load of laundry on and the kitchen is clean. You spend the day visiting somewhere nice, he picks up a little something for you that he knows you’d love. You know, just a decent kind man who actually likes you.

Or you walk downstairs to all of the above because you’ve done it yourself and no slobby manchild has come in during the night and vomited on your carpet or pissed in your drawers, or dropped crumbs all over your counters.

Or imagine this - last night and this morning - is how your Saturdays look at least once a month, probably more often as he gets older and more out of control. Cleaning up the bodily excretions of a hungover manchild.

You can choose.

If he was an immature 20 year old, this sort of behaviour would be bad enough. But I’d still be telling him to sling his hook as I couldn’t be doing with such selfish behaviour As it is, he is supposedly a mature adult who has no self-control or self-awareness. I’d be telling him to go away and grow up!

Absolutely. OP, when a man you don't even live with treats you like this, be very happy that all you have to do is dump him and never see him again.

Because when when show you who they are this soon, they will not be better if the relationship continues.

Bill him for the wank stain on your sofa.

You would actually give him another chance? Even though this isn't the first time?

@Heatwavefry

what does he mean he sorted himself out?

and if it’s not urine, what is it?

Why on earth would you put up with this behaviour from anyone??

He sounds awful. Get shot of him.

That alone would have killed any regard I had for him stone dead, long before the spunking on the sofa.

You should break up with him.
Simple.

Oh, sweet summer child.

Don't!

Disgusting specimen, wtf do you see in him? Be very thankful you’re no married.

Me 🤮 you are NOT overreacting. Tell him to fuck off. I’m thinking of buying a van and every time I read another mumsnet post like this going round and chucking these “men” out. Anyone want to join me?

This

Ok, then logically he clearly understands now that he can’t handle his drink and has volunteered unprompted that will never be drinking to excess ever again right. Right? Right? Yeah, right!

I would struggle to find him attractive after this. What a vile way to behave in someone else’s house.

It’s so disrespectful.

Either you walk away from the relationship or he commits to not behaving like this again (and sticks to it). Don’t move in with him until there is a consistent pattern of better behaviour (or at all).

What is your relationship like otherwise?

Well no, I agree but at least you could put it down to them being young and stupid and discovering alcohol. A 31 year old should be way past that by now was my point.

What a pig, OP.

I don’t think this is redeemable but the fact he hasn’t been absolutely mortified, booking a professional clean for your couch and making himself scarce so you can calm down would be the decider for me. He’s not even that bothered. Urgh. If he was sober enough to get it up he was sober enough to get tissues or go in the shower / bathroom.

Can you explain what you think disrespect would look like OP?

Then compare it to his behaviour ...

ETA he sounds absolutely revolting.

Put him in the bin, along with your sofa cushion.

Yes exactly. He is developmentally immature as well as revolting.

The 18 year old would "just" be revolting.

😬

ETA 🍆🌋

Maybe your definition of massive wet patch and other people's is significantly different. Has he gone now, did you take your key back?

Raise your standards, OP. You can do better.